My two cats played together as kittens. I thought they were friends. But now they seem to avoid each other. What could have happened?
Dear Readers,
Usually, nothing happened. It turns out they didn’t have enough in common to be friends as adults.
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Cats who grow up together can build a strong foundation for cat friendship, or simply drift apart, but they are rarely enemies. Sharing a kittenhood does not guarantee adult closeness in the resulting cats, any more than it does with human siblings; but it helps.
If there are no other cats to be friends with, two indifferent cats will band together in times of trouble, such as working together to remind us dinner is late. Once they no longer have this to share, they stop interacting with each other.
Here are ways that kittens grow up to be less close than before:
Low bar at a young age. Kitten friendships require less compatibility than adult ones. They enjoy the same things. It would be difficult to pass up the play opportunities offered by a fellow kitten.
But when they are not so driven to wrestle with each other, the one who likes it less will want to opt out, and the disappointed kitten needs to be helped to wrestle something else.
Style conflicts. One kitten loves to get rough, and the other doesn’t. But as some point, the kitten at a disadvantage doesn’t have to play any more. So they don’t.
If we see a lot of conflicts, where one cat flees or seems to threaten another, we have cats who can no longer play together because someone isn’t picking up the right signals.
Not nudging them enough. We can help them discharge their energy in a better way by using a wand toy, fresh pack of spongeballs, or other shared activities. They are playing together, even if they aren’t playing with each other.
We should say nice things to our cats when we see them in the same room together. This encourages them to be seen, often and happily, near each other, even if very little seems to be occurring.
Sometimes, that’s the point.
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There’s more about multiple cats in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See more posts on the MULTIPLE CAT ADVANTAGE.
