Ever wonder why the person who declares they don’t care for cats… seems to be the center of attention for every cat in the vicinity?

It’s not just an expression of a cat’s sardonic sense of humor. It’s not because cats are taking revenge for not being liked. It’s not a coincidence.

The more the cat-shy try to act like they don’t like cats, the more the cats misunderstand their intentions. They are misunderstanding each other’s language.

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It’s because the cat-shy are inadvertently sending out the right signals… to become an intense focus of cat friendship overtures.

It’s classic farce; each of these parties is interpreting the signal in the opposite way it is intended. The more the cat-shy try to avoid a cat, the more they telegraph the opposite message: the one that says, Hello, Cat. I’m politely fascinated. It’s perfectly safe to unleash your curiosity on me.

They won’t make any straightforward movement to draw the cat’s attention, so they actually “flirt” with the cat, by coyly avoiding their eyes and turning away when the cat studies them. To the cat, this is high cat etiquette. It is saying, I’m not going to watch you, so you can watch me in comfort.

The nervous blinking looks like the slow blinks of cat friendship. Being still also invites calm investigation, the way a cat likes it.

To the cat, this looks like they are willing to extend a passive hand to invite the cat to pet themselves with it. The more the cat approaches, the more rigidly extended the “friendly” hand becomes; until it is drawn closer to the person’s body, and invites the cat even closer.

Over and over again, the cat-shy make themselves a passive object willing to be investigated, constantly signaling to a friendly, curious, cat that they should come closer and explore this person who seems to know all the right cat things to say.

What can we tell the cat-shy? We can tell them, but it’s likely they won’t do the gestures that will keep away cats. All they have to do, upon spotting a cat, is:

If we thought about it, we would realize that acting like a giant, clumsy, adrenaline-soaked toddler will work the best to get cats to avoid all contact.

This is how the cat-shy can best signal their discomfort; by rudely rushing the potential relationship, showing no respect for the cat’s dignity, and ensuring complete avoidance of their bumptious person.

Knowing this essential cat etiquette will let the cat-shy make a fuss and signal cats away, while the cat-friendly can use these concepts to invite cats in.

I know it’s counter-intuitive. For people. But for this task, we must speak in Cat.

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There’s more ways to understand our cat with The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my posts on WHY CATS DO THAT.