Thanks for stopping by! Get The Way of Cats, delivered, by asking for my RSS feed. Get my free cat advice newsletter by signing up here and get the FREE eBook, Ten Cat Tricks (Every Human Should Know.)Cats who bully might be our fault. It’s great to spoil the cat. This is their natural state.
But our indulgence should not extend so far that we ruin the cat.
Letting the cat do whatever they want could have consequences if the cat is being aggressive towards others.
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If we allow our cat to swat us to have the couch to themselves, or chase other cats away from what should be shared things, we are creating a monster.
It usually starts when the kitten is cute, and we laugh it off. “Oh, what a little tiger!” We should always let the cat know their teeth and claws hurt us, by the simple acts of whimpering, saying “Ow!” or putting the cat in another room for a solitary time out.
Some cats are quick to realize they are hurting us, and will moderate their play right away. Others, who might have had poor socialization, need us to teach them what compassion and affection means, by consistently and quietly showing them their aggression will not get them what they want.
Roughhousing is a great way to create an aggressive cat. We should always be gentle with our cats, whatever their size and age, and let their toys be their outlet for high energy. People who are used to dogs often make this mistake, since dogs routinely like rowdy play.
But if we watch cats playing, we see it’s not a brute force exercise. Among themselves, cats wrestle, and moderate their biting and scratching. Cats who are enjoying themselves play silently. Any vocalization from the cats means it’s no longer play; someone is getting too rough.
If cats get out of hand, with us or with other animals, we must let them know this is not acceptable, and also that it is not a good strategy to get what they want.
We can’t use aggression ourselves, because this would undercut our message.
If cat play gets vocal, we can use a firm, but not loud, tone of voice, telling them to break it up, which the victim is all too glad to do. We can pick out the potential bully by noticing which cat is reluctant to stop.
Bullying is a sign of immature coping skills. A cat who is frustrated or feels thwarted does not know any other way of getting their way except to keep going after it.
It is a common thought process in kittens, who don’t know any better and can’t put brakes on their own behavior. This is why raising kittens with a lot of affection, and a lot of guidance, will shape a cat who can pick up on disapproval and unhappiness in those around them; and try to not to trigger such negative emotions.
Which is why it is so important that we firmly indicate the bounds of acceptable behavior at all times, no matter how cute it might seem.
The cat who persists in aggression should get scolded, given a time out, or, if these don’t work, a blast of air from an air can. This allows us to hiss at the cat safely, and is a message in their language.
Whether we get the cat as a kitten, or take in an adult cat, they can pick up poor coping skills if we ignore their expressions of these bad strategies. Everyone in our house is supposed to respect others. That includes the cats.
That includes us.
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