As tough as it is for us to lose a cat, it’s even tougher for a child to deal with it. They have fewer resources, more confusion, and less experience handling their emotions.

If we had a hard time dealing with a pet’s death when we were young, we can have even more trepidation over it. But it’s important to do it right. Here’s some help:

Consider the child’s age. A toddler needs less information than a grade schooler, while a teenager can discuss philosophy and religion along with their grief.

This might be the child’s first encounter with mortality. Be sincere about what we know, or don’t know, about where the cat is now.

Do not be defensive. Often, our child will be upset that we cannot fix this. Explain that this makes us sad, too.

If we made the decision to put our cat to sleep, we can feel nervous about telling this to our child. If they ask, they are aware of the concept, and thus, need it explained to them. Otherwise, we can explain that the cat was very sick or very old, and this is what happens.

Let the child lead. If the child wants to rush out and get another cat, be sensible about acquiring the right one, but do not impose an arbitrary deadline.

Why create anxiety about whether or not they can bond with another cat? This can be why a child is eager to try the experience again. They can still miss their cat.

On the other hand, some children jump to the conclusion that they will never love a cat they have been very close to. Discuss this with them as they ask curious questions, and we can reassure them about the regenerative nature of love.

It can be a teaching moment. If there was some culpability in the cat’s death, such as letting them out and they got run over, we must be able to handle our child’s sense of guilt. Help them understand they didn’t really think their cat would get hurt, or they would not have done it.

This can also be a time to explain why we take good care of the cat, and why we have to take them to the vet sometimes, even though they do not like it.

Model the right response. We can show our child what mourning is like, how to handle it, and when to expect it to be over.

While we should indulge our tender feelings, it is not healthy to prevent healing and closure by refusing to allow ourselves to feel better at times.

This is a good thing for everyone to learn.

The toughest part of having a cat is deciding to say goodbye. Find help in my posts on coping with end of life issues.

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There’s more ways to care for our cat with The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my posts on mourning our cat.