A lot of the time, the only problem the cat had was homelessness, and we’ve fixed that. But when the problems don’t go away, the cat needs something more than love.
They need rehabilitation.
We can’t do that until we figure out what might be the source of the cat’s problems.
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Deprived. It’s a great irony of rescue that often the cats with the most challenging problems can be acquired quite young; and by people who were not expecting problems. That’s why they got a young cat!
But cats who had tough sledding from the very beginning can pick up dysfunctional attitudes; and do not have the maturity and experience to have tempered them yet. They are easily overwhelmed by expectations we might have, simply based on their size or what the vet told us their age is.
We can make great strides with these cats by remembering that while they are no longer a tiny little kitten; they probably are, inside. Relaxing and thinking of their reactions as more “mental age appropriate” will give these cats the room they need to grow. Our own puzzlement and lack of patience can melt away when we remind ourselves that the cat is much younger than they seem. By treating them more like a little kitten, they will be able to outgrow their problems.
Refugee. Another problem can occur from late neutering. Kittens who were gotten on impulse, never get altered, and grow out of the kitten stage are often callously discarded through neglect. These are the desperately conflicted strays who play keep-away with us; they want human affection, but have racked up enough street time to not give it lightly.
Once we have captured the cat and captured their heart, part of the process is altering. But if cats already experienced their hormones, especially in a high stakes street setting, they still won’t miss them when they are altered. They often don’t even need retraining for such behaviors as marking; if they are handled properly. But this footprint on their mind has been established, and must be acknowledged.
These cats often have difficulties with intercat relations; especially cats of the same sex. That’s because, in nature, the same sex is seen as more of a territory threat. Cats who have experienced the one-two punch of hormone influence and scarce resources can’t help but react to another cat with both fear and anger. This is a survival instinct that cannot be eradicated; only redirected.
Our stray needs a territory of their own, in our house, before they are going to happily mingle with the other cats. Rushing this process leads to cat conflicts that only seem stubborn because we have not led the stray into their new situation step by step, at a pace they can handle.
Depression. Another cat rescue situation that is not often acknowledged is the depressed cat. A cat needs a certain level of maturity to become seriously attached; if this bond is lost, the cat will then be seriously depressed.
These are the cats who look so sad we long to bring them home and make them happy. They are nice cats who don’t give us much trouble, but they don’t perk up the way we expected, now that they have a loving home. They will hide, though not all the time; they will accept our overtures, but without much enthusiasm.
Our misconception was that the shelter made them sad, and taking them out of the shelter would make them happy. It will; but the cat has to process the loss of their previous person and home.
The cat doesn’t understand how they lost their person; cats see all such losses as abandonment. They were hoping their person would somehow remember them and take them back. Now that they are in a new home, they must work through the realization that the previous home and person are truly gone.
We can help the mourning process by acknowledging it as such. Instead of broadcasting disappointment that the cat has not become wildly happy already, we should offer quiet support in the form of gentle stroking, soft words, and our acceptance of the cat as they are.
We should once again show happiness that they are with us; showing dismay with the cat’s progress will only make the cat feel that their new home is not welcoming.
The reward, once the cat thaws towards us, is the great pleasure of an extraordinary bond. The cat has already shown that, far from being an indifferent kind of cat, we have chosen a cat who feels very deeply.
Once all that love is transferred to us, we will have the wildly happy cat we dreamed of.
The old saying “cats have nine lives” probably came about because of the cat’s great agility and innate healing powers. Cats can overcome very serious injuries, as any vet will tell you.
But cats also have great mental strength as well. The brighter and more sensitive the cat, the greater a harsh blow can be felt. Yet these same qualities are what will help the cat regain their lost balance.
If they have the proper understanding and support.
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There’s more to choosing a cat with The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my CHOOSING A CAT.
Boy, I couldn’t agree with you more, about what injuries a cat can get over. I have had cats really sick or hurt, and they seem to make it. I just had a tiny little feral kitten get sick and it should have died, it was so sick. He would just lie around and not eat, so he lost tons of weight. The vet gave me some antibiotics and today after two weeks, he is playing. I still can’t believe he is all right. I didn’t mean to write another blog
.-= ´s last blog ..Thoroughbred horses =-.
I love your wisdom in dealing with cats, and it’s helped me a lot in facilitating the happiness of our lot.
However, we have 1 difficult case.
Around a year ago, we ralized that a cat we thought had a home did not have such, and furthermore had had kittens in our shed. We trapped all 3 of them- momcat and 2 kits- and adopted them.
The kittens-that-were- collectively called the Things, though their proper names are Heidi and Gunn- have integrated wonderfully into the household. They are even enticing 2 of our 3 Elder Cats into various frolics and riots! plus they’re serious cuddlebugs when they want to be, and are accepting a decent amount of handling even when it’s not what they’d prefer.
Their momcat, though- she’s a harder case. Now: she ADORES the housecat lifestyle! It didn’t take even a week before she was sitting by her dish and demanding food if it was empty. Plus she is passionately BFFs with our dog (who is, sadly, nearing the end of her life)- she loves the dog very, very much indeed.
But- she’s still very scared of us humans, even though sometimes she seems to realize this is silly, but yet cannot overcome her instincts. My husband has been working with her a lot (I was more focused on the kittens), and she’s somewhat tolerant of him…
But- she’s a sweet cat, and raised great kittens, and I think would love being spoiled if only we could convince her that was safe. She’s relaxed some over the past year, but is still really reactive.
If at some point you could write about how best to make gestures towards a sweet and loving but very feral cat, I’d be most grateful! Thank you!
As it happens, Cissa, I am working on a feral cat post right now. In the meantime, my thoughts on your situation are:
I am sorry to hear about your aged dog, but isn’t it wonderful that momcat has adopted her? This tells me two things. One is that momcat has good instincts about going where she is most needed. Two is that she is flexible about new beings which are challenges to her preconceptions.
As an older dog, I imagine she is not rowdy or aggressive at all. This is probably new to momcat, and thus we have a door momcat opened to be friends with your dog. She is able to see the dog as something new and different.
So make it clear you treasure her for these perceptions, and for the good care she is taking of the dog. Obviously, she has great nurturing instincts. Slide yourself into them by “presenting a different profile” than the one she is used to. Lying down on the floor during interactions is one way to be less threatening to any cat; and this is probably somewhat new to her experience, and can slide past some defenses.
Also, does she not have a name? Her own special name will convey specialness to her. Since you did not mention it… it made me wonder.
That is so sweet you are giving the mom cat a home Cissa!
Looking forward to feral advice too. We have a feral cat that became very tame, she now follows me around demanding to be petted. We’re still working with her on a couple of issues. She likes to give ‘love bites’: she mouths our hands when she is pleased (or wants attention) but doesn’t bite hard. Still, it’s annoying, we remove our hands and stop petting for a few seconds, she’s making progress but hasn’t stopped doing it yet. Also she freaks out when we pick her up. She was fine with it at first, but has been through some health problems and now seems to associate getting picked up with medicine or going to the vet.