But at other times cat harassment can be both subtle and misleading. We might be surprised to discover who the instigator really is, and why they are doing it.
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
Communication between cats is 90% body language. So there could be signals flying back and forth that we won’t notice; unless we pay special attention. A cat could be a harassment victim, and we don’t realize it. Or a cat could be a harasser; and we are blaming the wrong cat.
When cats have difficulties with each other; staring intently with a lashing tail, giving someone a wide berth in the hallway, or trying to avoid certain places at certain times, we should observe the obvious sufferer first. They are a target of something another cat is doing, but if it’s easy to pick out the offending cat, this could be a communication breakdown that we can correct.
A cat who keeps asking the other cats for play might need a rousing game of spongeball or having a wand toy waved for them. A cat who guards the food might not know how to ask for it when they are hungry; so they hang out there, just in case.
We then work with the cat so they can have a signal to give us when they want something. Puffy was taught to use his Paw, and he used it for everything.
A cat who has trouble “refreshing their browser window” to pick up new information needs us to give them a signal. Some unique, imperative sound, such as from a clicker, can cut through their concentration and get them to refocus. Once they realize their efforts are not getting the desired results, they will start paying more attention to the feedback they are getting.
Some cats are so confident, even arrogant, they genuinely assume other cats are too. If they didn’t want to be pushed out of the window perch, why did they fall off of it?
Such cats require us to monitor their behavior and keep correcting it, since the other cats are not able to do so. Once they realize we are serious about enforcing our preferences for harmonious sharing, they will go along, and sometimes even learn how other cats will express similar sentiments. It seems that the arrogant cat does not care; but usually we are attributing malice when it is actually cluelessness.
The most subtle kind of harassment, and the most difficult to detect, is when one cat is making another cat uncomfortable. The trigger could be entirely accidental; a truck backfired outside, a precarious pile of recyclables settled in the bin, the phone rang when a cat was right next to it. The startled cat looked for a reason for this unsettling event; and happened to see another cat acting strangely.
The targeted cat was simply reacting to the same unwelcome event; but the aggrieved cat does not know that. Aggrieved Cat will be the kind of cat who is baffled by the unexpected and never liked Targeted Cat anyway.
If we were around, we might have been able to reassure both cats and let the incident get pegged as an accident. But now Aggrieved Cat is sending bad vibes Targeted Cat’s way; slightly raising their neck fur, flattening their ears ever so slightly, doing the annoyed tail twitch. Poor Targeted Cat is soon a nervous wreck, and either avoids Aggrieved Cat, or starts sending bad vibes back. This makes Aggrieved Cat even more certain Targeted Cat is up to no good… and we see how this could spiral out of control.
We have to be alert to how the cats act around each other; and quick to correct any misconceptions they may be harboring. We may never know what started it; what’s important is ending it.
We should try to coax the two cats into a little meeting in the bathroom or other room where we won’t be disturbed. A few treats, some mutual petting, some soothing words. It may take a few tries, but this works because the cats don’t really want to be at sword’s points with each other. They would love to have a face-saving way to end the nervous standoffs and relax.
Our intervention can break up many of these little misunderstandings, and head off worse trouble. Even cats who aren’t necessarily friends don’t want to spend their time looking over their shoulder.
Give them a good excuse to get along, and they will take it.
Got here from a Link or Search?
There’s more about multiple cats in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See more posts on the MULTIPLE CAT ADVANTAGE.
I have one cat that when he was younger was mean to all other cats and I always thought it was because he didn’t know how to play nicely with the other cats. So he would beat them all up cause he didn’t get the response he wanted. Then I got some kittens and he put up with them very nicely. He didn’t play with them, but let them come up to him and even licked them sometimes. He was a stray that I took in, and I always thought he just never and any sisters or brothers to play with and learn the ropes.
Margaret Elmendorf´s last blog ..Why does you dog dig and what to do about it??
Hi there. We have a 3 year old black male declawed cat named Jeter, and yesterday, I just bought a brand new kitten for my 6 year old son, named Derek…
I am wondering HOW long it will be before Derek and Jeter get along!
Jeter, being the older one and dominant one, hisses at Derek every time they are near each other. Derek cows down to Jeter, as if he’s telling him :I know that you are the boss,” but Jeter is CONSTANTLY doing this.
He was used to other cats when he was a baby, and Derek is used to toehr cats and kittens.
How can I get Jeter to stop hissing at the new kitten and get them to be friends????
HELP! We love them both!
I have a whole section on introductions which should make it easier for them to get along.
Also, declawed cats are often defensive and have difficulty with other cats. I hope this was a “pre-existing condition” for him; it is usually a trauma for the cat.