According to a recent survey, 67% of dog owners have only one dog, while 44% of cat owners have only one cat. Multiple ownership is more popular with cat owners, but that’s still a lot of Only Cats.
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
But sometimes we wonder if our Only Cat is a Lonely Only. Or we feel the yen for another cat. So many people start with one cat, have a great time, and then hesitate on the threshold of the greatest challenge of all; the negotiation between Cat One and Cat Two.
But since we already passed up the easiest solution, (getting two cats at the outset,) here’s the points we will need to consider:
Officially designated. The most difficult Only Cat situation is when a shelter marks them that way. Good shelters have knowledgeable personnel and plenty of socialization opportunities. If a cat continually shows distress or aggression in that kind of situation, it makes them a poor prospect for introduction into an existing multiple cat household. Believe the tag.
However, this doesn’t mean our rehabilitated Only Cat is the same cat we brought home from the shelter. Pile up enough circumstances; poor social skills, insecurity, no exposure to other cats, and the stress of shelter living, and these cats can’t do it. Once their stress is removed, once they are happy and secure, they might be okay.
Territorially conscious. If our cat hates seeing another cat from the window, or terrorizes our mother’s lap dog, or sounds like a fire siren when they see another cat in the waiting room at the vet; we can conclude our cat is a poor prospect for living with other animals. This could be perfectly true.
But I’ve had cats who do all three of these things; and adore their cat buddies. Because their cat buddies are their friends. Trespassers, yappy dogs, and stressful situations make these cats less than social, but that’s because they have low tolerance for threatening strangers.
Acting lonely. People sometimes worry that their cat is lonely because the cat spends a lot of time gazing out the window or sprawling on the couch with a distant look. But our cat is not a moony teenaged human. When our cat is quiet and amuses themselves easily, it’s usually because our cat likes it that way.
It’s the rowdy, often-into-things, active cat who both needs, and would appreciate, a playmate. But people often don’t think of this as “acting lonely.” So they try to get the wrong cat “company.” The quiet cat isn’t missing anyone; the energetic cat needs to chase and be chased.
Consider the variables. If we start wondering when the cat is under three, has a lively activity level and a trusting, outgoing personality, what we have is a cat who would most likely love the play possibilities of their own kitten or younger cat.
If our cat has been a contented Only Cat for many years, has trouble with new people and new situations, and needs help keeping their jealousy and insecurity in check when stressed, then we probably don’t have a good prospect for getting along with a new cat companion.
But there’s a lot of variation between these two certainties, and a lot has to do with what our cat is like. A sweet, open-hearted, mature Gamma might love to have an similar cat to hang out with. An Alpha of any age might be glad of another Alpha, of any age, to enjoy exploring and experimenting with. While a Beta is the most easily social of all the cat types, and often needs companionship if left alone all day.
We can balance what we would like, and what our cat would like, by being attentive to our cat’s signals regarding their moods and their stress level. Ultimately, most Only Cats can get along with a new cat; if we match the two cats properly, and we introduce them carefully.
Above all, we should be confident and caring. That is what both our cats will need from us when we embark on broadening our cat family.
I get asked this a lot: Dear Pammy, Should I get my cat a kitten?
Evaluate our cat’s reaction to possible cat companionship with The Smell Test.
The key to happy multiple cats is proper introductions.
Got here from a Link or Search?
There’s more to choosing a cat with The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my CHOOSING A CAT.
I still have’t quite mastered telling alpha, beta, gamma etc. cats apart, I need to review those posts so many thanks with the tags as well as the review above! I do know we have cats that behave very differently with me than with my spouse, I think that’s part of the problem. We are finding it very hard to integrate our newest almost-adult Esme, who is bossy toward the other cats, but a laid-back marshmallow with me. She’s having to learn to play, as she was never in much of a position to play, but joint play isn’t happening. We’re having to take it v e r y slow putting her together with various combinations. Almost makes me wish I was back to the days of only-cathood. Not really.
Poor Esme is something of a “deprived child.” She hasn’t learned the cat manners she needs to convey her wishes and state of mind to the other cats. Her “bossiness” is probably a show of power, which is street defensiveness, not house manners. The other cats are saying, “What is wrong with you?” Since they don’t know why she is projecting anger and defensiveness, they wish to avoid her; or encourage her to go away.
But you are doing the right things, since veeeeeeery slow is the only way to go.
I’m going to ask the other side of this question: what happens to me when I get a second cat?
This may sound crazy, but I guess that just goes with the cat lady thing. I have a young maine coon mix we adopted from the shelter I work at only about a month ago and he is the loveliest cat in the world. I have bonded with him so strongly and feel that he is my best friend. My fiance and I are forced to live apart due to work so he has become invaluable to me as companion during the week, following me around and talking to me, playing under my feet, and enjoying belly rubs and giving kitty kisses. I adore him. However, he is a very active cat and plays all the time, and often looks bored to me as he stalks around the house. I also have to leave him for several hours a day for work.
So my fiance and I decided to get another young cat from a shelter. In all honesty, my fiance absolutely fell in love with this 5 month kitten, even though I didn’t fall quite as hard, but we adopted him, especially since my cat has bonded with me and is sort of indifferent to him so we thought it would be nice to have a kitty who would bond with him as well.
A few things happened, some expected, others not:
First, our original cat hates him. he deliberately stalks and attacks him, hissing and swatting and growling at the poor terrified kitten (especially when I am in the room), even though this cat is great around all humans and dogs.
Second, and more importantly for this post, I’m not sure how I feel about this new addition. I just didn’t experience the joy of bringing him home as I did my first cat (in fact, I was notably upset the first night), and though he is a nice kitten and my fiance really likes him, I just feel, well, cold towards him. I’m not sure why because I love all cats and volunteer at a shelter and this was my idea but for some reason, I just can’t make myself love this kitten.
Is there such a thing as a one-cat person? I just feel that with such a strong bond between me and my baby boy, there isn’t room in my heart for another. Or is there? Is it maybe because my baby doesn’t like this new kitten? am I being very selfish and should I give them more time? Or is it because I am afraid of the strong bond that supports me being broken?
The shelter we adopted from said we could bring him back if it didn’t work out and though I am the type of person who, having worked at a shelter for a long time, usually hate people who bring their cats back, I can’t help feeling like I’ll be relieved if this really doesn’t work out. There is something about my bond with my original cat that is preventing me from opening myself to this new one. And though my fiance loves him, I am the one who takes care of them at my house until he comes up for the weekends.
I know I should give this a bit more time, but I am less worried about the cat accepting the kitten then me accepting the kitten. Is there any advice for humans in regards to this process? Would I be a horrible person for returning this kitten to the shelter and just keeping my one cat?
Should I wait this out in hopes of coming to love this new cat?
Five months is an old enough kitten that introductions should take place gradually. If you didn’t do that, just plopped the new guy down, your first cat would have Indignation Fuel for what happened next. And what happened next?
You didn’t like the kitten! And so “your cat” doesn’t either.
Perhaps read my post on jealousy. Because it’s not just in cats, it is in people, and your message makes me feel you are right about this:
I think you are expressing insecurity; that your fiance likes this new cat so much, that your own cat will love the kitten too much, and so you are being cold towards the new kitten; which will guarantee hurt feelings. How will your fiance feel if your coldness makes him lose a cat who is special to him?
Love will expand to fill any space it is given. Your lack of trust in the nature of love will wind up hurting everyone if you persist in not giving this kitten a chance out of fear.
Hello Pamela,
I was wondering about “only cats” and the potential for someday adopting a small, shy dog. My cat Muffin is a tortie and has been an only cat since she moved into our house about seven years ago.
Muffin leaves other cats alone except when they get in her space or try to eat her food. Then she puts the fear of God into them!
I have been sponsoring a dog at an animal sanctuary in another state for several years and have dreamed of one day being able to take her home. This dog was rescued from a breeding mill and is still very shy and withdrawn. I don’t think she’ll impose on Muffin like some of the sassy neighborhood cats.
I’m wondering if I might have a better chance with the dog than with another cat.
Please let me know what you think.
Sharon
Dogs occupy a different area as “rivals” in most cat’s minds. If the dog is willing to defer to Muffin, she might regard him as far less of an interloper. Do you come home with a shirt or pants that smells like the dog in question? And does Muffin react in any way? This can be a clue to her first response.