The Odd Couple

Then there’s the cats who get along, though this seems to defy the laws of physics, because these seem, to us, very dissimilar cats.

This indicates to us that we are not applying the same criteria as the cats are. When we look for what is drawing these two cats together, we will learn more about our cats.

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When we were in kindergarten, we make friends, and often discover that a mutual interest in Legos may not be enough to sustain a longer friendship. Cats, too, go through stages in their friendships. Kittens are more likely to become friends when they are tiny because the chances of their being interested in playing and wrestling is so high.

Sometimes, these friendships endure, and sometimes they cool to a friendly level. This can be a time when a cat looks around for another cat to share things with. Someone who also likes to watch the birds wake up in the morning; that’s the new interest they would like to share.

Another factor is how much our cat enjoys cats friendships. RJ would not be happy unless he is friends with everyone in the house, while James Bond is happy being ignored by a cat he doesn’t consider close.

A shared fascination with the can opener, the tree that many squirrels and birds visit, or a particular toy will pull cats together. Seeing another cat enjoying something opens the door for the cat to value this cat’s opinion: because it mirrors their own.

When we all play with the Kitty Tease, there is always a point where I put Olwyn in the bathroom with a battery operated toy, so she doesn’t mind, and then RJ can leap and chase the Kitty Tease toy without trampling on Olwyn. This makes him very happy. If Olwyn remained the reason he couldn’t play with his favorite toy his favorite way, he would not be friends with her.

While RJ and Olwyn are close, each passing day Olwyn grows more like Mr. Bond, not RJ. If he were a cat who needed a close spectrum of shared interests, the way Mr. Bond does, RJ could drop the friendship as Olwyn’s needs for play become less, even as his own does.

But RJ is happy just sleeping near another cat. He’s very easy to be friends with, so the shift won’t matter to him very much.

This morning, we have the dining room table disassembled in the living room, so we can move it to the actual dining room. The cats weave through the maze of legs and are all camped in front of it most of the time, asking for an explanation. They explore the ambush possibilities and I have to tell them it will be gone soon.

These are all cats who agree on the level of disruption and significance “furniture pieces” mean. If we had a cat who liked to knock over stuff, or who hid in trepidation, they would feel even more isolated if the other cat looked on them as added stress in this situation.

We might not put certain events into a category of “cat events,” but events do not have to be cat-centric for two cats to share a similar reaction to it. Remarking on moments of cat friendships, and looking for them to occur so we have a chance to do so, can be a good way to encourage our cats to be friends.

Remember that our showing distress over the cat’s not being friends is not seen as such by our cats. What they see is the other cat causing us distress. This is another reason for the cats to dislike each other. Scolding a cat for bad friendship behavior might not be seen as a product of their actions, but the other cat’s.

Since we can only do encouraging feedback, we need to find those moments when the cats are getting along, and show how happy that makes us.

Sometimes, even the oddest of couples make the best of friends.

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There’s more about multiple cats in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See more posts on the MULTIPLE CAT ADVANTAGE.