The cat between three and eight.
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If we are a cat newbie, there are many advantages to getting an adult cat. We will be better able to leave the cat unsupervised, more easily convince them to leave certain things alone, and will not have to deal with the kitten’s adolescent period. This is where kittens test their independence, and can make an insecure cat owner feel they no longer have their cat’s love and interest.
Yet this is also is the age where we must be wary of serious behavior problems. Younger than three, and they are still in the upbringing stage. Older than eight, and someone loved to have them around; that someone had to leave the picture, but it’s no reflection on the cat. The adult cat can be a poor choice if a newbie takes on a cat who is more challenging than the person’s present cat skills.
Don’t fall into these traps:
The needy cat. The new cat owner is often skeptical about friendliness. They then go overboard and get a clinger or a wailer, without being able to handle this cat’s abandonment issues. Look for measured affectionate overtures, such as eye contact, meows, or getting up to show interest in us. This is a friendly cat who is not desperate.
A soft paw (claws held in) is fine for the cat to reach with. But the cat who clutches with their claws or makes high pitched noises are highly stressed. They are not good prospects for a new cat owner, who doesn’t yet know how to handle a normal cat relationship, much less a demanding one.
The overreactive cat. As a new cat owner, we will sometimes send the wrong signals. We need a cat who will not reject our sometimes clumsy attempts at socialization and training. We need a cat with an open and forgiving nature, willing to look past our confusion to our basic good intentions. Newbies need the reassurance of proper feedback from their cat.
So we should look for a cat with some dignity and restraint. This is a cat who will blossom with attention and forge a good relationship, yet are secure enough not to reject an owner who might make the wrong moves at times. That wide-eyed, wary, cat needs some special handling we might not be ready to give.
The stubborn cat. If a cat has to have certain routines in order to feel secure, they will cling to that behavior even if it does cause them trouble. It takes some skill to relax the stubborn, inflexible cat, and considerable self-confidence in our ability to see down to the true cat hiding inside. Newbies should seek a more mellow outlook.
The shy cat. Cat shyness doesn’t have to come from trauma. It can be that the cat was not properly socialized. It could be that the cat has trouble understanding humans and needs some extra effort. It could be a Gamma cat who never got the support they needed and are now easily overwhelmed, making them withdraw at the slightest stimulus. Shy cats can be wonderfully sweet and responsive, but it’s a little overwhelming to cope with as a first cat. They need to be pushed, the right way, for best success.
As we grow in our cat skills, we can take on these wonderful cats who have some problems. Every one of my three present cats were throw-aways; Puffy had to be slowly and carefully socialized, Mr. Bond was semi-feral and needed help making human connections, and Reverend Jim had serious deprivation problems that had to be understood to be corrected. They are, I can modestly say, Great Cats. But in a home without recognition of their special needs, they would have become cats who would have lived “behind the couch,” if they could have coped at all.
So they are not necessarily the best choice as a learning experience. These cats can also benefit from homes that already have good working cat relationships, and can learn from peer-to-peer modeling. Sometimes, being an only cat is not the best choice for these challenged cats.
I urge newbies to think about bring home not one, but two, cats when they embark on their cat adventure. Bringing two cats into a new home means everyone starts from scratch. There is less likelihood of territorial issues, and the cat who is weaker at their people communication will have a good example to follow. Choosing two cats who might already be buddies at the shelter will be an even better good deed, and makes settling in easier for everyone.
Because that’s the point of cat rescue. Whoever we are, whatever the resources we can devote to the task, giving a cat a happy home is the point and the purpose.
Don’t choose lightly. That cat we did not choose well would have been happier somewhere else.
So would we.
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There’s more to choosing a cat with The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my CHOOSING A CAT.
