But then… they wouldn’t be cats.
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The reason cat training is also cat negotiation lies in how a cat’s instincts guide their reaction to an environment. Cats don’t obey a higher ranking animal, or search out something tasty and unmoving. Cats figure out ambush strategies. Cats outwit their prey.
Cats are problem solvers.
To solve puzzles, we try something, and if that doesn’t work, we try something else. We are flexible, we adjust our approach according to our results, and we press on when we find something that works.
We negotiate with the puzzle. And so do cats.
So when we are trying to train a cat to do something, or not do something, negotiation is how we are going to do it. No matter what it is. Because cats had what they view as a Very Good Reason to do, or not do, that thing in the first place. They must be persuaded otherwise.
Here’s some principles we can use while we negotiate:
Proper first response: We should let a cat know, right away, what our stand might be on any issue. If we ignore something, or hope it goes away, it won’t. Then a cat will be righteously indignant that a long established practice is being interfered with. Often, our cat will be alert to our response when they do something new; they are looking for guidelines. Be alert to offer some at any time.
For more on this, see The “but I want to” response
Establish response early: We can anticipate our cat by letting them know how we feel about some new piece of furniture, or their attitude towards a change in the routine, by providing clues before they even react to the new thing. We can alert them about how we feel about something, or suggest a possible course of action, and then pretend they thought of it themselves.
For tips on shaping the response, see these articles.
Get our message across: How can we convey what we would prefer our cat to do? We should explain it, and act it out. It works more powerfully that way, just as a modern movie has the one-two punch of seeing, and hearing, the story.
If we aren’t sure how to communicate with our cat in this way, see my articles about it.
Be ready with substitutes: Often, just asking a cat not to do something will work. But when it does not, it means our cat is expressing a need. Needs are not easily extinguished. Since part of having a pet is taking care of their needs, we should give some thought and effort to providing what the cat is asking for, only in a better way.
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Absence of malice: The most compelling argument we can make is to love our cat, and show it. Then our cat is compelled to pay attention to our wishes, and try to accommodate them. An adversarial relationship not only undercuts the whole passion and point of having pets; it is also doomed to failure. So keep a light heart and try not to see our cat’s behavior as though they are trying to anger or disrespect us. I can guarantee that is not what is really happening.
I have written about the power of such a move in Discipline with Love. Literally.
Negotiation is a delicate balance of everyone’s, sometimes competing, wishes. But it is the only way all of us can find peace and happiness.
So it is worth every bit of effort we bring to it.
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There’s more to raising and training a cat with The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my CAT TRAINING TIPS.
