When I say “make a fuss” or “fuss over the cat,” it’s pretty simple.

Just make a fuss over the cat.

If we notice the cat and don’t say anything, the cat will notice us and not say anything. Not much of a relationship, is it?

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So what I am advocating is preemptive action on our part. If we aren’t getting enough attention from the cat, it might be because we haven’t been giving it. First and best.

This is the greatest pitfall of cat newbies. They wait for the cat to fuss over them, not knowing that the cat is waiting for the exact same thing.

The cat wants to know that we find them interesting and lovable. That’s what we all want. So taking even a minute to say the cat’ s name, and make some eye contact, lets our cat know we care.

When we do have time, we can be quietly thrilled by their presence and reach out for some petting. Isn’t this why we got a pet? So we can exchange affection?

People who complain that their cat is not affectionate are usually waiting for the cat to make the first move. They protest that they do ask for affection; but the missing element they don’t realize is that they often haven’t yet established any platform for mutual friendship.

Popping up and asking for a cuddle when we have not established our intentions in the cat’s mind means we are taking liberties that we have not yet earned.

Yet it’s so simple to earn those liberties. Consistently noticing the cat and being delighted by their mere presence signals the cat that we want to be buddies.

Then our requests for affection have a context in the cat’s mind. They know what we are after. They know our intentions.

This is especially crucial when we are winning over a cat who has experienced neglect of some kind. They fell for an offer of friendship before, and wound up betrayed and abandoned. Showing the cat that we are different means putting our own heart on the line when we ask for theirs.

People who are not used to cats can find the cat’s seeming aloofness hard to handle. Heck, the dog goes nuts every time we look at him.

That’s right. Makes us feel good, doesn’t it? So there’s nothing wrong with some quiet enthusiasm (cats find themselves disconcerted over a lot of loudness and wild movements) to model for the cat the kind of behavior we, ourselves, would like.

If we “notice the cat” every time we notice the cat, we will be well on our way to a great cat relationship.

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There’s more ways to get our cat to be affectionate in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.