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The deal we struck with cats, back during the dawn of agriculture, was that they take care of the rodents who ate our grain, and we would love and admire them for it. Domestication has lengthened their kitten traits and made them even more affectionate; while the further march of civilization has largely removed the original reason they were hanging around with us.
So now it’s just the love.
When they are kittens, our parental role is more pronounced. But it is an inevitable consequence that we feel “in charge.” Some of this is necessary, or they would never go to the vet.
However, especially with the adult cat, we should consider how cats feel about themselves, lest we play our parental role too heavily. Cats are used to ordering their own world.
The more autonomy cats have, the better they like it.
The conflict comes because cats live in our world. If we lived in theirs, we’d be the ones hoping they’d bring our favorite flavor home.
But since it is our world, we have to make the decisions a lot of the time. Yet, the best way to make our cats feel loved is to recognize them as adults with their own preferences.
So while we enjoy the cuddling and fussing and love talk, and so do they, we should also remember the King of the Jungle most cats feel they are in their hearts. We should not give orders; we should give choices.
We should also have times with our cats when we recognize their dignity, discuss events which impact them, and ask for their input. Sometimes, we are roommates, not parents. As our cats gets older and more mature, these times will have more and more importance to them.
The domestication deal with our cats was that they would be more like kittens for more of their lives, for us to enjoy smaller, cuter, creatures than we are ourselves. There’s no question that this is part of the cat’s appeal.
There’s also the side of the cat who seeks to take care of us; to come around when we are sick, to watch out for the house when we are away, to choose their favorite spots, and to come up with their own ways of amusing themselves.
Cats are more than children surrogates. They also want to be our friends and our equals.
The more we can recognize and encourage our cats to feel that way, the happier we both will be.
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There’s more ways to get our cat to be affectionate in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.
I have a cat that absolutely knows when I am upset about something. I can’t remember what it was, but I was really upset about something, and MewMew came over and sat right beside me and just rubbed on me just trying to make me feel better. It was super.
It’s extraordinary, the way they do that. It was one of my first clues to how sensitive cats are.
I can actually relate to the photo because sometimes we raise our voice to our pet cats at home because of their gestures which we dont like. However, cats are very lovely pets and can be trained to obey simple commands.