How can we turn our “phantom cat” into a real one?
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It doesn’t mean we can’t make the cat happy. It does mean we have to carve out spaces for the cat that are better than what they have now. High shelves, cat tunnels or condos, or just spending time in that room so they can come out and see us are all ways we can access the cat without overloading them.
Let the cat know when the dogs are out in the yard or the baby is down for a nap. They might want to take advantage of this lull to have some time with us. If they know the lull means we are open to visiting, they might be motivated to monitor the situation and will magically appear.
Try spending some time in the room, but not peering under the bed and grabbing for the cat. Get down on the floor to read a book, watch television, or surf with our laptop. Let the cat observe, and come to, us.
Being down on the floor is a powerful cat signal. It literally brings us down to their level. Instead of a towering figure with a distant face, we have made ourselves less threatening and more easily observable. We can glance over, say their name, and play with interesting toys or treats that are just begging for a cat to come over and explore them.
If the cat does so; we do nothing. We simply keep on amusing ourselves and let the cat check out things at their own pace. We can send the slow blinks of cat friendship, or sing songs with their name in them. If our interaction spooks the cat, keep it to ourselves for now, and ignore them. This is the easiest way for cats to explore; they are already dealing with the new territory. They don’t need to deal with us at the same time.
Don’t reach for the cat. Let them be the first to touch us. This gives them confidence and autonomy.
It’s not necessarily trauma or anything we have done. Cats are highly tuned bundles of nerves. Every so often, the throw of the genetic dice creates a little shadow cat. For instance, my Puffy.
He is rarely seen. It takes us seeking him out for him to remember how much he loves cuddling. But this effort pays off… as I type this, he is sleeping in my lap. Without our constant invitations, we would simply never see Puffy. So we make a point of issuing invitations.
We can often be thrown by the cat who reaches out with a paw or talks to us. Then, we get them home, and they hide. What’s going on? Where was that assertive cat in the shelter?
He or she is still there. They made a tremendous effort to reach out to us for love. Now, they are gathering their resources to continue the friendship. But now they are in a new territory, with new, unknown, rules.
Give them the support they need, continue to show our friendship in ways they can understand and accept, and we’ll get that cat back.
Only, even better.
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I have a cat that is very shy. She has spent 90% of her life in my bedroom. The first house we lived in, it was very active, lots of dogs, cats, people etc. But then we moved here and it is much quieter but she still stays in her room. She comes out every once in a while to sit on my screened porch. She is my best friend too.
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Some cats really need the volume turned down to relax. But it sounds like she finds your company most to her liking!
I have a cat and it has just strated to hide under my bed. He rescantly had a fight with a cat and hert his poor. could it be that he is scared or dieing?
He might be more than scared; he could have an infection. I would take him to a vet immediately.
This is a good write-up. My cat just started going under the bed today, which she never does. But, she is also just getting over a strange, recurring ailment that happens every 30-90 days which I have yet to figure out the nature of. Now that she’s getting over ‘it’ once again, she goes through a routine of going under the bed. She did come out about an hour ago, let me pet her and rub her belly (a new development), but after about 5 minutes she went back under. I used to live at a friends who had a ‘shadow cat’. But I did much of what you wrote at the time. Being, I’d just sit on the floor and read or something and within a few minutes she come crawling out and be very affectionate. My friend never did get that kind of attention from her, but it got to be routine with me and her. We would have this get together every night at about the same time and she became very accustomed to it. In fact, her horizons started to expand and she”d come out whenever I was in the room. I eventually moved out of the place, and she immediately reverted back to her old ways (and has since then also passed away).
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Here is a link to video I took of the cat I have now, when she is having her recurring ‘ailment’. I can’t figure out what is wrong with her. I thought it was a belly ache, but not so sure now. Her eyes get dialated, and her tail rips around…and is she is very excited or agitated. And as you can see, she responds vocally. She’ll be like this for under 24 hours and it happens about once a month, but can go for a few months without an event:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNaVqrOIZWA
Stephen Sponsler´s last [type] ..First Canaveral Rain In Nearly a Month Dry Elsewhere
New dog small minpin. Cat has been under the bed for 24 hours!! HELP! No water taken, has not used litter!!!!
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