There is something very powerful about the cat who seeks us out because they desperately need us.
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So it’s very difficult to say no to a stray who starts hanging around, trying to catch our eye, eating the open cans we leave on the back step like they can’t remember a good meal because we know they might not really remember the last time they had a good meal.
There’s nothing wrong with taking in a stray, as long as we do it in several steps.
Make them a little home. This can be indoors or outdoors, but it should be warm and dry, at least. Put their food and water, (people forget the water, sometimes) in this safe place to lure them into it and make them associate our scent with happiness.
Move the home closer. The cat can be quarantined in this place until they have gone through a vet check. If they show signs of serious illness, they can be left alone to recuperate. Then move them closer to our house in some way, like coming in from the garage to the spare room.
Their age is how they act. The cat can be a wide range of ages, but may act younger or older depending on how they deal with stress. Neglect can make a cat move slowly and show the dull coat of malnutrition, and will make them look much older than they are.
One room at a time. These rooms, after it has been established that New Cat is not carrying anything the other cats can catch, may or may not contain other cats. They can look through the door at the other cats for a month before they feel safe, because in their street life, other cats were nothing but trouble.
Making up ground. It might take a year for this cat to relax; or a month. We don’t know how bad it got and how long it was bad. So we give a stray a lot of slack. If they want to keep getting fed in their room, let them.
Expecting too much. Too much advancement, too much gratitude, too much stress, and too soon… that’s how that nice stray can seem to get a little crazy. And they are a little crazy, so they should be left alone and not stressed.
It’s sad to say that while our cat can be wonderfully affectionate and relaxed, they can transition from that state in a microsecond if they feel threatened. That doesn’t mean our stray can go psycho on us at any time. It means they can start to feel wary with an inadvertent gesture or when we surprise them somehow.
Our stray, until they learn to trust us, is going to be coming down from their battle to survive. If we have a summer to slowly grow close to the cat before winter drives them in, they will have had a chance to think about us. If winter drives us closer than makes us comfortable, there can be stress.
Some strays stroll right in, looking like they misplaced their top hat, and stay for the rest of their lives. It’s the cat who really needs it, and looks it, who triggers our greatest empathetic instinct.
They need to set their own speed.
If we feel a connection with this cat which keeps getting stronger, it doesn’t matter how long the journey.
We and the cat will meet.
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Wow that is a great post. And it is all so true. The fact that you have to be careful of a stray for a very long time is so true. Cats are very sensitive and a sudden movement or noise can really scare them and they will revert to being a stray again or wild. When cats are brought up outside, they are extra sensitive. Even cats that are used to coming in the house some of the time.
.-= Marg Elmendorf´s last blog ..What is a feral cat? =-.
Excellent post! It is all to easy for we humans to forget that a stray only survives by being wary. They don’t initially understand that we only have the best intentions and mean them no harm! Like many of the most rewarding aspects of life, a trusting relationship takes time to build.
First rate information and advice! All but one of our cats were young ferals when we took them in; most of them still have the instant fear-wariness that goes with a lack of early security. For example, we’ve been gone a week, and on return, although all are clearly pleased we are home, they have “backslid” a bit, not being so free and easy, confident as they’ve become when we are home. Time has made this less of a problem, as the older cats are considerably more resilient to change now. None of these difficulties, however, has kept them from becoming and being great pets.
I once had a cat who chose me. She knocked on my door one day, batting at the screen door until I heard her. I opened the door and she strode on in as if she owned the place. She never left. She didn’t have to be coaxed to stay and in fact I opened the door for her several times because I didn’t know yet that I wanted a cat, but she refused to leave. She must have been a pet previously. I lived in a college town at the time and sadly, it was not uncommon for students to keep a cat during the school year and then just turn them out on their own at the end of the semester. There’s a special hell for people like that, along with the child abusers and people who talk at the theater.
I still miss that cat. She passed away after a struggle with cancer four years ago, after I’d had her nearly 15 years. I’ve had other pretty awesome cats as well, but never one quite like my Lilith, who was so very much the boss of me. Nor have I ever been chosen by another cat.