Despite abuse, neglect, and stress, every cat offers clues to how they can be reached, and what we will get when we reach it. By developing this Extra Sense of Potential, an attuned Cat Appreciator can walk into a shelter full of cats and come home with the cat who is right for them.
Even if they aren’t right, right now.
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Whether we get a kitten or an adult, we are choosing the cat for what they are now. But we are also choosing the cat for what we hope they will become. Whether it’s a kitten we want to grow in concentration and companionship, or an adult we would like to see lose their shyness, fear, or suspicion, we are choosing for the cat’s potential.
While kittens are adorable, and we often say we would like to “keep them that way forever,” we also appreciate the way they grow and learn new things. They become more loving, more communicative, and more able to please us with their behavior.
When adopting an adult cat, we look forward to them making themselves at home, coming to love us, and getting over their possibly difficult previous experiences.
In every case, we are looking for potential. In every relationship, potential can be both a lure and a trap. We get into a relationship as much as what it will be in the future as for what it is now. We must be careful, in every relationship, to make sure the potential we longed for is still there.
Because, sometimes, the potential is not realized.
People have gotten the withdrawn cat; and the cat cowers in the back of the closet at their home. People have gotten what they think is a calm cat; only to find the cat never got socialized and ignores them in the home. People have gotten a lively cat; only to find the cat is actually frantic and becomes aggressive in their home.
In each case, what the person was looking for was not what they got. They could have gotten the loving cat, the quiet cat, the lively cat; they interpreted the cues the wrong way.
People want a cat they can interact with. If the cat can meet our eyes, show an expression, are open to overtures; they have the potential to be our friends. The cat who won’t notice us at all is going to be a much more uphill road when it comes to being friends.
The cat who already interacts with us, despite any other problems, will have the potential to trust us.
That’s how they get over things.
RJ was curled up in the corner of his cage, seemingly indifferent. But when I showed an interest, he perked up, began rubbing his face on his cage bars, and, when I got close enough, reached out to pat my cheeks.
I can work with something like that.
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There’s more ways to get our cat to be affectionate in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.
