As humans, we have the power, the knowledge, and the motivation to make sure every cat gets what they need. Sometimes, what they need is for us to step in and make sure they are treated with fairness and consideration by the other cats.
We are the Boss of Cat Town.
Proper policing is as much a matter of avoiding disputes as it is dealing with them when they appear. If we don’t allow a particular cat to hog the food or drive other cats away from prime spots, we won’t have to deal with the other cats stress over having their food and nap spots being a source of anxiety, instead of being a source of pleasure.
This will encourage the obnoxious cat to create new behaviors to get what they want. This will reassure the timid cats that they are equally important, and has a nice side benefit of helping them hold their own.
Timid cats truly benefit from their people backing them up. We can’t “leave it up to the cats” because this will create imbalances in the cat’s relationships. Timid ones will be better able to assert themselves if they feel this is what we want them to do. Leaving them alone to fight their own battles will not build their character; it will make them think we want them to be bullied, so they will be more likely to give in.
Reminding the more assertive cats that we want them to get along will encourage them not to throw their weight around. They want to please us, after all; our ignoring the bullying will just let them feel bullying is something we don’t mind. And, after all, we do mind.
We don’t need to be bullies ourselves to accomplish our goals. Putting the offending cat into a time out, making them eat alone in a room, or moving them out of a spot we know they’ve nudged another cat out of to get; these are all ways we can make our wishes known without being mean or frightening. Cats will respond to appeals to their better nature, once they know what is expected of them.
We can also avoid conflict by making sure there is enough for everyone. Separate dishes and separate spaces at mealtime won’t let anyone feel threatened. Widen out preferred spots so everyone can enjoy them if they share. Make the effort to draw in quiet ones during playtime, or make sure we include them before playtime is over.
This is how everyone feels treasured, and in turn, affectionate.
This is how we make a Happy Town.
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It looks like links are still in your old blog format, rather than the new one.
Katherine
Thanks for letting me know.
Augh!
WordPress is a lot more powerful. Which, in my case, means there are more ways for me to mess up…
This is a great article. I’m having a heck of a problem with 2 of my 3 cats. I’ve been thinking it’s that they’re both trying to establish dominance, but now I see that they’re really trying to keep and protect their own territories. (One question I still have though, is what to do when someone lays in the others territory – the girl does this to the boy allllll the time).
So, my 21 lb baby boy was my first cat, and is very mellow. I took in a stray mama cat and disabled kitten. mama cat as soon as I gave her the two week space immediately started attacking the boy and has done so, and continues to do so every day. She’s about 7 lbs by the way, but really vicious. She’s really great with people however, although extraordinarily skittish. Both female and male love 1 and a half year old kitten.
I know she attacks him because she’s scared, and he tries really hard not to get in her way. But she tears him up pretty good whenever possible, and we spray them with water and make loud noises whenever they fight. He is large enough to defend himself, but I think this makes him more stressed – and I really don’t know how to calm this situation.
Another problem I have with her is that she poops by the front door – I bought a cat genie a little bit back and so they always have a clean litterbox. It doesn’t seem to matter what I do to try to prevent her from pooping there, she still does.
Anyway, this article helped me see that they each need their own territory, and maybe, none of the twain shall meet. I don’t really know how to mark off a territory, so to speak, but will talk to my sweetheart about it and see what ideas he has. Anyway, sorry for the long email – this has been preying hard on my mind. Thanks so much – and your writing is excellent by the way.
Sorry one more thing – IF it matters at all (and it probably doesn’t). I was reading more on your site, and looked up Alpha – where I got articles about different breeds. Does the breed matter?
All of my cats were strays, but I got my boy, and more recently kitten off the street as babies – Mama on the other hand appeared to be between one and 2 years old when I brought her and kitten home. Her breed ‘appears’ to be straight Siamese I think and his is a typical American short hair with some kind of mix or genes that makes him really, really long, tall and heavy.
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