The Way of Cats

There’s something about a sleeping cat which fascinates us. Whether we want to cuddle them because they look so cute, or are drawn to see just how deeply they are sleeping by stroking a whisker or ticking the fur in their ears, we can be deeply tempted to disturb them.

We can soothe our conscience by realizing that sometimes cats do welcome our overtures while they are sleeping. We need to know where and why cats are sleeping to make this call.

If the cat is hanging out in the living room during a Lost marathon with our friends, the cat is looking for notice and interaction. They might not be up on the plot, they might not be drawn into the discussions of character development, but they are saying that, even asleep, they have an ear cocked for what might interest them, and are in the mood for the occasional stroke or directed question that will make them feel a part of the event.

If the cat has sought out the littlest used room in the house, with or without parking themselves under the bed, the cat is seeking deep sleep, and low input. If we encounter them there, and they aren’t doing any harm, we can tell them they are good and leave them alone. The cat has indicated they are “sleeping in,” and doesn’t particularly want any fussing right now.

Part of the puzzle is that cats do “cat nap.” They are capable of an indefinite drifting state where they are attuned for possible happy events, but are not on full alert, either. It’s always a compliment when a cat does their “drifting time” in a room with us. Sleeping on our lap or against our leg is what we rightly regard as serious closeness, and we often seek out such opportunities.

But a key way to maximize these “lap or leg” opportunities requires a commitment on our part. Put the drinkies and snackies close to hand, the remote nearby, and signal our “settling in” by tossing a throw across our lap or opening a book. If the cat is going to settle in, they want to settle in, not be constantly dumped off our lap or otherwise disturbed.

That’s because most cats are highly sensitive to our cues. If we are restless, only going to be sitting down for a little while, or ready to bounce up when our team scores, this is not the atmosphere the cat will regard as conducive to serious snuggling time. In the minds of many cats, it doesn’t matter why we are nudging them off our lap, whether it be checking the fridge or an urgent call of nature. We have nudged them off our lap, and they will wonder if we really meant it in the first place.

So if we want to cat to curl up with us, we should make the effort to not disturb them unduly. It’s a wonderful feeling to have a relaxed cat enjoying our affection, and returning it. But this isn’t a state to be rushed, or for us to get a charge and not return one to the cat. We might have been signaling to the cat all along that we won’t stay still long enough for either of us to get the most of this kind of contact. So the cat will choose a more stationary nap spot than our lap.

Where ever they might be, a cat choosing a nap spot in a room we occupy, especially a prominent and easily accessible one, is a cat declaring trust and affection. They will welcome non-dislodging activities as ear rubs, paw holding, or a couple of “hand hugs” because that’s why they are hanging out there. But we shouldn’t pull the cat out of bed for a quick cuddle and expect to put them back in the same way. The cats finely tuned body has already found the right configuration for itself. It’s disruptive to make them try to find it again.

Cats do spend two thirds of their life in some kind of sleep. We can expect a lot of our cat interaction to take place while they are in some form of it. Respecting the cat’s needs, while rejoicing in their decision to be near us, lets us connect with the cat when they are in their most relaxed and mellow moods.

By making our overtures in that same spirit, we know we are doing it in a way the cat will welcome.

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