Many times we are advised to “let the cats work it out.” Be assured that they will; water settles at its own level, and differing personalities will settle on some kind of equilibrium. What should give us pause is the near certainty that it will not settle in a way that will please us.
If left unchecked, aggressive personalities will act out, retiring personalities will hide under the bed, and even emotionally steady cats will start behaving badly because of the stress. This isn’t what we want, so we must step in and encourage fair play and respect.
Remember, the cats are taking their cues from us.
Left alone, they will follow their own inclinations. We have stepped in before, to let them know we don’t want them climbing the blinds or sneaking into the refrigerator. We have always made our preferences known. This is no exception.
Make the new cat part of fun times, like treat distribution or play sessions. If all the new cat does is hang back, that’s fine! They aren’t interfering with anything. If the new cat wants to join in, that’s fine! They can play and get treats too, there’s plenty for everyone.
As with any thinking being, cats want to know what to think about this new thing. If we are happy instead of apprehensive, fair instead of preferential, willing to moderate interaction instead of abandoning the cats to this major upset in their world, they will be soothed by our attitude.
We are the Boss of Cat Town. With privilege comes responsibility. We want every cat to be happy in our home, in their own way. Cats who are fearful should be reassured. Cats who are friendly should be praised and fussed over. Cats who are aggressive should be reminded that this is not the way we roll in Cat Town.
We should not rush the end of introductions any more than we should rush the beginning. It can take time for cats to accept this new planet in the orbits, especially since the new cat is also making their way in their new home. Behaviors change.
If we are there to supervise, behaviors will change in the right direction.
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I have a 7 year old neutered male persian and a 2 year old female spayed persian. Today, I brought home a 3rd kitty. He is 8 weeks old. They are not sure of what to think about each other. The 2 year old girl kitty is now even hissing at me when I am not around the new kitty. Does she not like me anymore? How can I make them all be friends? I just want a happy home. Please help!
It’s only been one day. And you’re right, they’re not sure what to think.
However, the fact that she is hissing at you and not the new kitty is a good thing. Be happy and cheerful about the new kitten, instead of worried and anxious.
Then they will think of the kitten as a good thing, too.
When the kitten is not around, fuss over them and explain he doesn’t know anything, and they can teach him how to be a Good Cat.
This will give them a puzzle to solve.