Way of Cats blog

I recently shared a Tristan story at work, where my co-workers had gotten to know him during his first week of fostering, when he needed around-the-clock care. One lady was taken aback when she thought of how long ago it had been. When she took this photo, it was the last time she had seen him in person. “I guess he’s really not a kitten anymore,” she said.

“That’s true,” I said. “But he’ll always be my baby.”

As seen here, we would really have to stretch our definition of “kitten” to accommodate Tristan as he is today. At sixteen months and almost 12 pounds, he’s longer than RJ, and takes up almost as much room.

He no longer looks like he’s made of tape and pipe cleaners, which had led to his nickname of “my little dill pickle spear.” He’s getting much more rounded and muscular, with a neck as wide as his head and powerful hindquarters we get to see in action quite a lot of the time.

While he doesn’t take on the caretaking roles so beloved of our Supervisors, James Bond and his protege Olwyn, he’s more linked to our daily routines than Reverend Jim. When Mr WayofCats works at his craft table, or I’m at my desk writing, Tristan makes a point of finding a way to be a part of it, even if he’s restricted to passive observing.

Please, Tristan, be a passive observer, is our way of reminding him where our boundaries lie. He is starting to understand what I mean when I tell him that.

Of course, fostering him since the age of three weeks means we will always have that memory of him as a teeny-tiny morsel of catness.

Being an Alpha, he’s going to stay playful and lively, as I explain in Tristan, forever young.

To this day, we cannot play Villain Hands with Tristan. Even Reverend Jim, environmentally deprived and slow to puzzle out certain things, understood the game of Villain Hands. While Tristan simply sees the hands approaching, perks up, and waits to be petted.

Boundaries is the concept Tristan handles in a way which ensures he will always be “my baby.”

It’s a kitten trait to show no signs of being fussy about their boundaries. This works well for kittens at the stage they let anyone pick them up, fall asleep in any lap, or make friends with any cat.

James Bond (at left, top) was born dignified. He never had this kitten trait; and it interfered with him getting a home. Reverend Jim (at left, on left) has become dignified. He never did like being held like an infant. He is highly pleased that he can choose the times and places he melts all over us.

Tristan doesn’t care about dignity. He shows no signs he is ever going to care about developing this important cat trait.

He will assume all kinds of silly postures and doesn’t care who sees him doing it. He loves being cradled upside down, like a baby. He lies on the floor and begs us to kiss his belly. When we do, he never attacks our head or gets overstimulated.

Because of his unique combination of early socialization and innate personality traits, Tristan not only avoided a feral existence; he became the inverse of it. He is the cat version of a human infant’s perfect trust.

We can raise our kitten with respect and love, or foster a kitten from their “furry slug” stage, and still wind up with a highly dignified cat. Conversely, we can go to the shelter or take in a stray and discover a cat who was abandoned by people but still manages to hang onto enough love and trust to relax in our home. The most unexpected of cats can become the “cat baby” we long for; once we show them we are the lovable and trustable human they should have had all along.

They can be any type, any breed, or any combination of breeds. They can overcome bad experiences. They can even come from a feral background. I’ve gotten them tiny and I’ve gotten them grown, from the shelter or off the streets.

Still, I cannot guarantee any cat will develop into such a one. RJ reached out with sweet desperation, while Olwyn was a reserved observer. RJ never liked being held like an infant, while Olwyn loves being “babied” by Mr WayofCats… provided no one else but me might see it.

I’ve had cats like this who melted at my first touch. I’ve also had cats like this who were suspicious and careful; at first. As with so much else in life, it’s not any one thing; it’s the way all the puzzle pieces fit together.

In the end, I simply give every cat what what they need, and remain content to help them be the cat they were meant to be.

Whoever that cat winds up being.

We rescued a tiny kitten, not knowing anything about him. See all my posts about Tristan.

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