Some cats have more of a need to maintain than others. This doesn’t mean they are not affectionate or interested. They are simply rather low key about it, unless we are alone.

It can be a heavy burden to bear when we have a wonderful cat who doesn’t want to meet our friends or be social. Or perhaps their dignity does not make them open to the kind of cuddling play we wish for.

We need to understand the dynamic of the dignified cat so we can both get more of what we want.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

One of the cat’s survival strategies is to be cool, calm, and collected, no matter how they really feel. Some cats are mellow enough to blow this off once they are in a secure situation. Goofball cats will even spoof themselves to get us to laugh at them.

But if we don’t have a natural “cat comedian,” we have to recalibrate our expectations, and our approach, to help our Dignified Cat bring out that side of themselves.

Play to the image they want to project. When around other people, and other cats, praise the Dignified Cat with sincerity and awe. It takes a lot of psychic energy for Dignified Cat to pretend they are Master of All They Survey, when they know, deep down, that so many things are out of their control.

But these are cats who cannot help it. Whether from early adversity or a big genetic tendency, such cats need respect and deference as much as they need food and water.

It shows we understand.

Protect their feelings. Take moments with our Dignified Cat that are away from all other living beings. Go into a room and close the door. We can also be on the lookout for those times when this cat appears when we are alone in a room. Pick up on what they are saying.

Such cats are glad to let their guard drop with trusted individuals, like us. By recognizing our opening, we can talk goofy kitten talk to them, make fools of ourselves over them, and invite them to do the same.

They want to roll around and play with us. They want to make fools of themselves over us. In private. We should create and look for these opportunities.

It shows we care.

Treat their presence as a gift. Because it is. Dignified cats are also Cautious cats. They often do not have an easy time trusting us, yet they are willing to go out on a limb to befriend us, if they feel respected and loved for who they are.

Teasing them, laughing when a maneuver goes wrong, or trying to force affection on them are all ways we disrespect the effort they must use to relax with us. Far from “loosening them up,” such responses on our part only conveys to the cat that we don’t understand, and we aren’t to be trusted to treat them right.

If we discretely ignore their mistakes and give them public notice in restrained ways, like a gentle head rub or slow “cat kiss,” we let them know we are cool, too.

It shows we recognize their true self.

Any cat, at any age, can project the need to have their dignity acknowledged and protected. It’s especially important when our cat becomes an adolescent, and experiments with their independence.

Give them what they want, at the time they want it, and we show our savvy.

And our love.

Got here from a Link or Search?
There’s more ways to get our cat to be affectionate in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.