But every storm blows itself out, and one Saturday afternoon, I realized RJ hadn’t had a good grooming session in a while. As a mostly Maine Coon, he’s usually an easy candidate, but this time I found two matted areas right on his hips; small, but stubborn enough that I had to get out the mat splitter.
He was really good about it; I had to get down on the floor to wrestle with him, but he never minds that. I thought those knots must have really been bothering him, because he purred the whole time. But looking back, I realized he started purring before I even had the knots out. It was the attention he was missing.
He needed recharging.
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I used to commute to college, and Mr. Bond was waiting for me when I got home from a long day. He’d insist on spending ten minutes on my lap, then was happy to get down and attend to other things. But he wouldn’t stop asking until he got his lap time.
His recharging time.
These opportunities to “touch base” with our cat are important to their mental health. Different cats will have different ways of getting their charge from us. Mr. Bond likes laptime, while RJ wants to be cuddled on the floor, and Olwyn has to have some shoulder time, no matter where that shoulder may be.
This is as important as playtime or mealtime. Of course, they want those too. But if we think our cat doesn’t want affection, it might be simply that their idea of affection doesn’t match ours; yet.
So be on the lookout for the little ways our cat might recharge from us. It could be a little chat while we are getting ready for work, or the post-dinner nap they take on the other end of the couch from where we are. Cats don’t have to touch us physically to pick up on closeness with us.
They just need to feel our touch.
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There’s more ways to get our cat to be affectionate in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.
You’re absolutely right.
We need to be on the lookout for ways in which our cats communicate with us. They really are tender affectionate little creatures….in between diva moments.
I’ve lived with cats all my life and I’ve figured out three of my four cats except one. She’s the second youngest and doesn’t seem to like a lot of attention; she loves curling up around her fake tree trunk behind my TV, peering out at me on occasion, or digging through my underwear drawer. If i pet her she purrs and grabs with claws, rakes, and bites me-still purring, growls quickly then continues to purr,. tail swishing about in annoyance-even when she comes to me for some sort of attention! And if I leave her alone she gets grumpy and leaves!
D: She has me stumped…!
Except she really loves being in the bathroom when my Father has a bath; only him though, no one else.
She likes it… but it overwhelms her. She doesn’t trust the feeling. With such cats; I move in exaggerated slow motion, telegraphing that I have no bad intent. Relaxing this kind of cat means we don’t pet on the head; we don’t loom over them; we don’t try to pick them up. Just letting a hand hang there, for them to use, can be a useful move.