Comments on: How far does love go?

By: Pamela

Pamela — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 22:35:36 +0000

She trusts him. You, don’t. Try to make friends with him?

By: Tinnie

Tinnie — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 20:10:42 +0000

I understand where the man is coming from, b/c I have a very similar issue. My gf has (2) cats, on male & one female. The female is generally okay, and I don’t have a problem with her. But, the male has a problem with me. He has tempermant issues. He always hisses & growls at me, and looks at me like he is plotting a 911 attack. I’ve never experienced anything like this.
She wants to marry me, but I really cannot stand the behavior of this cat, and it seems, at times, that she is putting him before me. She also wants to start a family, but I don’t trust this cat enough to have a child in the same zip code as him. If she gets rid of the cat, she’s hurt. If I end the relationship, she’s hurt. I really can’t win, here.

By: Rosalita

Rosalita — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 14:00:21 +0000

This situation is close to my heart. My boyfriend moved in last fall. He knew I had three cats at the time, but never really thought about what it would be like to live with them. It wasn’t easy. Cat hair, litter boxes and counter surfing, I’ve learned, are not easy for the uninitiated.

Plus, my male cats were so jealous they hissed at him all the time. Sadly, I lost my female cat to illness, one male had to go live with my mother because the other male turned on him (too many changes for him to handle I guess).

At one point, he tried the “if you care about me…” tactic but I refused.

I ultimately told him that I love animals, all animals and particularly cats. I WILL have one in my life, it’s part of who I am. Over time he has seen this and has come to understand.

I volunteer for the cat program at the local shelter. Last week we adopted a girl kitty that I had been drawn to. She and my boyfriend met first, liked each other and so we decided she should come home with us.

Her first night he slept in the guest room with her because when he checked in on her before bed, he thought she looked lonely. She curled up next to him all night.

He spent his lunch hour the next day at PetSmart.

People can learn to accept and maybe even love our little furry overlords.

By: Pamela

Pamela — Sat, 07 May 2011 17:03:08 +0000

That’s a lovely story! Especially the way you so neatly turned the tables.

By: Found My Cat Guy

Found My Cat Guy — Fri, 06 May 2011 21:22:05 +0000

Its an old thread, but it intrigued me and reminded me of my own story. I was dating a man who was an all around animal lover, but had never known cats and was under that “aloof cat” misconception. I have had at least one feline companion for the past 20 years, and at the time I had three. After dating for about a year, we started discussing living together, and that’s when he ventured “wow, three cats is a lot. Would you think about giving one up?” Knowing this was a critical moment, I looked him square in the eye and said “Sure, you pick which one.” After he managed to make his mouth work again, he spluttered “I can’t do that … how would I choose?” And of course I responded, “Then how do you expect me to? You knew I had cats going in, if this was a deal breaker you should have said so then.”

So … all three cats and I moved in. He became (as I knew he would) the best cat daddy anyone could ask for, and he is absolutely devoted to them. Two years ago I (and the cats) allowed him to give us his last name.

By: Getting An Ex Back

Getting An Ex Back — Thu, 13 May 2010 22:08:26 +0000

Nice information, numerous thanks to the author. It’s incomprehensible to me now, but in general, the usefulness and significance is overwhelming. Many thanks again and great luck!

By: Jen

Jen — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 22:11:14 +0000

I have allergies too; my doctor specifically told me I should get rid of my cats. NO WAY. My husband, who does not have allergies, agrees with me. Sorry, my allergies and comfort are not more important to me than love and the love from a pet is far more forgiving than love between people.

By: Jacq

Jacq — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 18:45:46 +0000

I’m so sorry you are an allergy sufferer. I, too, suffer from allergies, and they are not fun. But it seems to me that there are avenues you could take to lessen or even eliminate your allergies using shots, or other therapies, and I get the feeling from your post that you are not even open to these types of ideas. This smacks of a power play to me. Before I found my fiancé, I made it clear that anyone I dated had to love animals and especially cats. To ask your fiancée to give up her loving friend for you seems very selfish.

By: sneezer

sneezer — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 03:03:36 +0000

I realize that this is an old thread, but….

I can’t help but think that this forum has been REALLY one-sided. The cat lovers seem to be taking great pleasure in hearing other (disillusioned) people tell them what they want to hear.

This has been frustrating to read. As an allergy sufferer, the presence of a cat threatens to end my engagement. There have been several accusatory statements about men in my position. This is not about power or control, or abuse, or meanness. This issue is about priorities and comfort and health. I would like my fiancee to find another home for her cat so that I can be happy in our space.

I love my fiancee very much, but feel that I am forced to make her choose between me and the cat. This is a really unfortunate and heartbreaking situation.

I just wanted to urge cat lovers to understand the difference between pets and people, and recognize that people (especially loving fiancees) are way more important than cats.

By: WereBear

WereBear — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:18:44 +0000

Sounds like your dude made all the right choices