Thanks for stopping by! Get The Way of Cats, delivered, by asking for my RSS feed. Get my free cat advice newsletter by signing up here and get the FREE eBook, Ten Cat Tricks (Every Human Should Know.)When we have two wonderful cats whose only problem is that they hate each other, we might have contributed to the problem at the very beginning; by not doing proper cat introductions.
While we can’t start over, we can start changing cat attitudes. They might never be friends, but we can usually convince them not to be enemies.
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We must set up a separate room for one of the combatants; and commit to letting it take as long as it takes. A successful re-introduction will be worth it, because not only will we have a more peaceful house, the cats in question will have more peaceful minds.
Our first impulse of which cat to choose for the room is probably the wrong one; we will think of the cat we see as the aggressor as the one who should be quarantined. Or we will automatically decide to put the come-lately cat into the smaller space. But that is not the best criteria.
We should choose the most timid and anxious cat for the smaller space.
This is because the timid cat needs the smaller space. They will not feel compelled to defend the whole house, which they are not up to doing. They will know they are alone in the space, which would not be the case even if the more bold cat is locked away; timid cat will see them lurking in every shadow, anyway. The timid cat needs their own territory; they will find it more easily in the smaller space, alone.
Likewise, it is the bolder cat who will suffer in the smaller space. They have already staked out territory, even if they took it from timid cat; it is theirs now. The smaller space will get them stir-crazy; they will be more determined and frantic to get out; they will wail and intimidate the other cat, even from another room.
So we are choosing for the cat’s sake. Not ours.
We will be spending time with both of them. Go into timid cat’s space with a book, a laptop, a video game, a cell phone. See how many of our activities we can transfer into timid cat’s territory so they won’t miss us.
In the rest of the house, we will be continuing our relationship with bold cat. After all, these are usually two perfectly good cats who are sweet with us; just not the cat they hate. So what we are doing is establishing separate territories… that we will slowly merge.
This is how we will accomplish what we should have done in the first place.
With separation, we will have a sense of peace in the house; and the two battling cats will feel it, too. They will be calmer and more able to work out their problems, which we will only throw at them at the pace they can handle.
At lot of homes establish different spaces; but stop there. We won’t.
We will leave the door open more and more as we transition between the rooms. Any hissing or yowling, on either side, will be met with a blast of water or air aimed between them, and they will fall back into their respective territories.
What we are doing is creating new routines and new attitudes. The more the two cats associate good things with each other, the more relaxed they can be in their interactions. Without the constant stress of being unavoidably in each other’s faces, with the coping strategy of each having their own territory to retreat to, they will find each other less irritating.
As the door gets left open more and more, they will come to a new relationship. Things are better when they get along; we have established that for them. We will find we can keep the door open when we are home, then also at night, then start trying it all the time.
All we need is the patience and policing that eluded us the first time.
See all the reasons Why Cats Fight.
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