Feeling the Connection

So many choices, so little time. We can go to the shelter with a picture and a plan; or just show up and hope we find a cat who appeals to us. Is there any way we can feel more confident about choosing a cat?

We can; if we use both our head and our heart.

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I post a great deal about Choosing because I feel it is a vitally important element of successful Cat Appreciation, yet one that the majority of cat advice outlets vastly ignores. It is especially useful when, as so often happens, we become enamored of cats and wish to have more. The trickiest choosing comes with Second and Third Cat; after that, we have both momentum and a buffer zone.

I also post about Choosing since so much of the advice people are seeking is in the area of cat conflict. We love the cats; they don’t love each other. Anything I can do to prevent such a sad state of affairs is time well spent.

At the same time, I must acknowledge the importance of letting our heart do some choosing of its own. There’s one more element of successful cat choosing.

It’s when we survey a number of worthy cat prospects; and make a connection.

There’s something magical about seeing a kitten or cat; and sensing the tug of some incipient bond. We feel we have to give everybody a chance; we dutifully read the cage tags and speculate about what they might mean for us.

And yet, we find ourself drawn back to that one fascinating face. It can make us feel a cat is meant to be.

Perhaps the cat is. But we have to delve a little deeper to avoid breaking both our hearts. A cat taken to a home where they will not fit in is a cat who could have been taken by a more suitable person; if we did not make the mistake of taking them when they were not right for us.

Sometimes, despite the connection, this cat or kitten is not right for us at this time. They could have nothing wrong with them at all; except we also know they won’t fit into the situation we must take them home to.

That’s the big problem with using only our heart. We might pick a cat who reminds us of a friend from our childhood, or has a certain look we find appealing and lovely, or just looks so sad and pathetic that our heart goes out to them. If we can figure out what it is about the cat that we find so appealing, we might be able to get a handle on the practical implications of choosing this cat.

But we can’t use only our head, either. That would mean going to the shelter with a little list and checking it off and coming home with a cat we do not connect with.

Early in my cat career, I picked out a kitten. I had fallen in love and moved into a home which already had cats; this delighted me. But I wanted one of my own. I loved tabbies; there were many tabby kittens on display that day.

But one black and white kitten kept catching my eye. He was so energetic; would he be too much to handle? He was so tiny; was there something wrong with him? He wasn’t playing with the other cats; would he have trouble getting along with the ones we already had at home?

As yet, I knew very little about cats. I had plenty of vague reasons why I kept hesitating; but in the end, I could not resist the pull of this patchy little darling who all but plastered himself against the glass to keep my attention on him. He wasn’t doing it for anyone else; he was doing this for me.

He was Myron. My first clue that I was in for an incredible seventeen years was when I was getting ready to walk out with him… and every shelter person in the place lined up to say goodbye.

Chemistry. As so often with love, sometimes it just comes down to that soft strum in our soul. The one that says, I could love you.

And getting back the signal, I could love you too.

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There’s more to choosing a cat with The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my CHOOSING A CAT.