The popular saying “Dogs have owners, cats have staff” brings a smile to the faces of Cat Appreciators.

We get the joke.

Like all great jokes, it is the kernel of truth which makes it funny.

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Yes, we admit it; cats want to be spoiled. But in return, they are eager to spoil us back. It is the greatest kind of bargain there is in the world.

As independent entities, cats will enter into the social contract when it pleases them to do so. That is part of our obligation when we take on a cat; a kind of mutual spoiling pact.

It’s not that cats consider themselves superior. They are only asking for respect and consideration, and they will give in turn. It’s not really that cats want servants.

What cats really want are friends.

The contrast in the joke is in its expectations; our society is used to thinking of dogs as happy with whatever they get. People who truly love their dogs give them more, of course. So what is wrong with giving cats the same level of caring and enjoyment?

While dogs are wired to be amenable to suggestion, and many of them long to be led, cats never developed pack thinking. Cats are supposed to figure out what they want by themselves, for themselves.

So when this cat attitude appears in our home, it is no more, and no less, an expression of the cat’s instincts than a dog’s obedience is.

So when our cats express their needs and desires, and look up at us with the expectation that we will fulfill them, this is not the imperious demand of a superior. Not at all.

This is our cat expressing their confidence that we want them to be happy, and their trust that we want to know what they want, so we can give it to them.

After all, if a cat could operate the can opener, clean the litter box, and both wave and chase the wand toy, they would.

But since they can’t, we become mutually dependent for the skills each of us bring to the relationship. We both enjoy it. We both expect it.

That’s far better than master and servant. That’s how we enjoy the joke.

That’s how we, and everyone else, should see it: as a joke.

I explored similar concepts in Dog or Cat: Which is the better pet? and The Myth of Obedience.

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There’s more ways to get our cat to be affectionate in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.

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