Things are going well. Things are going very well! All we can think about is our new person. Their face, their laugh, they’re coming to pick us up for dinner… and they need to meet our cats.
Will it go well?
more animals
Contemplating bringing a new adult into our life does have something to do with the cats. We want everyone to get along. Do we already know our new person’s position on cats?
If our new person has regrettably not come to enlightenment regarding cats yet, we can feel constrained from even mentioning our cat situation. Because of bad cat public relations, and the myths and misconceptions that still float around, many people have poor opinions of cats and those who love them.
We can change this best by being upfront. We aren’t a stereotype. We are sensible, intelligent, kindhearted people. Of course we have cats. And we feel sorry for people who don’t.
Even if our new person is pro-cat, even if they have experience with cats, it’s not fair to just throw them into the deep end. Here’s some tricks to help greetings go smoothly:
Alert the cats. Let them know they will be meeting a new person we like very much. Get them excited. Tell them this person will be very nice and will be coming around again. This is shaping the response, to let the cats know what attitude they should have towards this new challenge.
Offer a preview. Rub a tissue on the back of our new person’s neck. Then bring it home and show the cats, saying this new person will be coming. Feel free to tell them how wonderful, funny, sweet, and good-looking they are. Our enthusiasm for this new scent will carry over to the cat’s first impressions upon actually meeting them.
Prepare the person. Explain the best way to approach the cats. At first, they should ignore them, to let the cats indulge their curiosity without worrying about reacting to this new person. As the cats show a willingness to be social, show them how the closed fist, rubbed on the chest, is the best way of shaking hands.
Take it slow. There are cats who jump in stranger’s laps, but if we do not have such cats, progress should be at the cat’s pace. If the new person wants to be friends as a way of getting on our good side, wonderful! But don’t rush it. Let the cats make the first moves. Trying to pat their head or wrestle with them, however well meant, will set the relationship back.
Let them do favors. If the new person will be around at dinner time, treat time, or play time, involve them. Let them open the can or just offer commentary on the activities. If the cats think this new person will be handling important duties, this will increase their interest level.
If all goes well, and we hope so, the new person will be around the house more often, enjoying recreational activities, and being more and more a known quantity to the cats.
If we let the cats explore their social bonds in a way they feel comfortable with, they will soon be showing up for movie night, exploring the bag the new person brought over, and engaging them in cat games.
One big happy family. That is always our best hope.
Got here from a Link or Search?
There’s more ways to get our cat to be affectionate in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.
About Pamela
Through her amateur cat rescue, she cured problem cats and placed them in new homes. Learn to maximize cat enjoyment!
That picture caught my eye and made me laugh – thanks for this.
Matthew Dryden’s last blog post..Parents Cannot Count