No matter what I do, my cat just stares at me. Why does my cat show no emotion?
Dear Reader,
The less a cat trusts their environment, the less they will give away.
Facial expression, body language, their next action; all will become hidden when a cat feels threatened.
see more Lolcats and funny pictures
We might wonder why our cat feels threatened. This makes no sense to us. There’s food in their bowl, the litter isn’t in terrible shape, and there aren’t any attacking dinosaurs. What does this cat want from us?
Obviously, they want more than they are getting now.
Once upon a time, children in orphanages were fed and clothed in large warehouses and given very little attention; and died in droves. It turned out that having one’s physical needs met is not enough to sustain life. Humans need emotional care, too.
Cats are different, of course; they mature much faster, and are able to be out on their own in a few short months. Unlike human infants, they don’t expire when they go without strong emotional ties. But they aren’t going to relax and have a good time, either.
Cats do have a suspicious nature. This is how a solitary creature who is so intelligent and curious stays alive in the wild. Yet they also have an amazing ability to pivot easily into social structures; when they have the proper support.
A cat who drops their guard is a cat who is taking on risk to get something they value. Toys and breakfast have added instinct incentives that will pull in a cat who is not completely comfortable.
Gaining our friendship is not something driven by instinct; it is driven by emotion. This is a drive that is both greater, and more fragile. Cats do not have instincts which help them overcome their caution in friendship situations; it is entirely a function of how much trust the cat feels.
When we take our cats for granted, when we don’t make overtures of friendship, when we expect them to respond as nakedly and needfully as dogs do; we are sending our cats clear signals that we don’t respect their feelings.
So they are not going to show them to us.
For more about cat faces, see Cat Advantage: Expression Reading.
Got here from a Link or Search?
There’s more ways to get our cat to be affectionate in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.
That “fed and kept warm” is what I call “perfunctory care” and it kills cat development just as it kills human infants. If not killed physically, then killed in feeling, in social behavior, in “smarts” — all those things that make life good.
I have a neighbor who wants a cat, but she wants a small beautiful creature who will sit and look pretty but make no demands beyond food and shelter. She’s amazed at how our cats have feelings and thinks we must be geniuses to pick out those few cats that are brilliant. But she doesn’t understand why our beasts want to sit beside us or sleep in our bed, or wheedle for extra food; she thinks we are terriby indulgent.
I will never give her any cat that crosses my threshold
A wonderful point; every time Dear Husband tells me how good I am at kitten picking, I remind him our success is also because he’s good at kitten raising.
We’ve never had a bad cat. OK, we’ve had a couple that have been challenging… but they’ve still been expressive and responsive! And mostly our cats have been all that and affectionate, too.
One of the reasons I like cats more than dogs is that I find cats more expressive. This probably means that I don’t read dogs as well, of course.
I make it a point to expressively welcome any cat that comes into my area. That way they know they are adored. And if they want petting, or scritches, or whatever, I’ll do that… though if they want extra food I don’t indulge them that way; most are chubby enough as it is.
If you expect cats to be expressive and responsive, I think they generally will be. -Of course, one does have to learn to read Cat-speak to insure this!
My cats look just like the two in that pic up there! That is soo weird!