A reader writes:
My friends tell me when a cat gets mad at you, they pee in your shoes? Is this true? Why would they do that?
Dear Readers,
Yes, it’s true. Cats have been known to do this.
more animals
Be aware that there are usually two things wrong when we make this discovery:
Generally, shoes get targeted because they are things that smell the most like us that are also not always on or around us.
Shoes, smelling (to a cat) hugely and only of us, are a symbol of us that can be engaged indirectly. Understanding this is key to the cat’s thinking.
This is a cry for help. This is a stressed cat demanding help and closeness. But, either by training or temperament, they can only convey this message in the crudest and starkest of terms.
The cat is trying to “mark” their territory. The cat is desperately trying to rebuild what they see as a broken bridge.
When we have good lines of communication with our cats, they have many ways of conveying their stress or unhappiness. If encouraged and supported, they are capable of leading us to the problem and telling us about it. Even if the problem is about us.
Cats without other means of showing their feelings are hurt feel forced to react from their most basic instincts.
This is true whether or not the shoes in question belong to someone who considers themselves the cat’s friend; or considers themselves that cat’s enemy. In either case, the cat is trying to “own” the person and get a handle on the stress that comes from that person.
We can be disgusted by, and dismissive of, such a base maneuver. But we have to remember this is a cat who sees no other way to communicate. While we might have more civilized trappings than our cats, who wear their original fur and have no thumbs, we must remember that when in emotional turmoil, we humans don’t really do much better.
The man or woman who feels neglected often flirts, or more, to “make someone jealous.” Some people get mad at their boss, and yell at their family. Who among us has not used bad words on an inanimate object, as though that will make the object cooperate?
So we shouldn’t feel so superior. We should take this signal for what it is; a distressed cat whose communication lines are down. Instead of yelling at the cat, and perpetuating the cycle of abuse we would visit on one another, we should forgive the cat, make overtures and friendship, and try to work on our communication so the cat won’t feel driven to such a crude signal in the future.
A cat who feels they “own” us can pout at us directly, as Mr. Bond is quick to do with me. When he does, I always pay attention, and at least apologize for coming home late and making him worry.
It keeps my shoes out of the discussion entirely.
Got here from a Link or Search?
There’s more ways to understand our cat with The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my posts on WHY CATS DO THAT.
Very interesting info. I have never had a cat pee in my shoes so hopefully that means they are happy cats. Or at least not mad at me. Good blog.
Margaret Elmendorf’s last blog post..Does your dog or cat have hip dysphasia or arthritis?
Hi Marg!
I haven’t had it happen to me (knock wood) either, but it’s a popular question from those seeking my help.
So now that i know what to do to prevent it how can I make my cats bond/friendship stronger besides not so much stress in the house….im not quite sure how a cat can get so much stress besides yelling and arguing in there house either….not saying cats are lazy, although mine is
, but what more do htey have to stress about? Thx!
It seems the problem is the “stress in the house/yelling and arguing.” Asking what you can do “besides that” is rather pointless, it’s like telling the doctor, “Yes, I have a skull fracture, but otherwise I’m fine? I’ll just go home then.”
Even if the cat knows the stress is not directed at them, it has to affect someone they care about: which is you.
My cat has taken to peeing on my laundry and shoes. Why? Its costing a fortune…..
Thankfully, I have never had a cat pee in my shoes. However, my older cat, Mac (about 15 yrs. old) has developed a shoe fetish. He has started carrying my shoes around, even bringing them downstairs. I’ll be watching television downstairs and hear this “thump” and then a minute or so later Mac’ll appear carrying my shoe. It’s not just one shoe, he’ll bring several down, one at a time. Is this a sign of stress or (and?) does he just want more attention from me?
Ann Marie, as Mac gets older, he might be suffering from a dulling of his senses. So it’s possible he does miss you and needs a stronger dose of your scent. See more about the senior cat.
WereBear´s last [type] ..What love can’t do
Thanks. I’ve spent more time cuddling him to reassure him. I have also started whistling when I want his attention or for him to come to me and that works much better than just calling him.
my cat just peed on my shoes… on a totally normal day…. no extra stress, after lots of cuddling…. he isn’t old, with dulled senses. no. he’s just an arse-hole. period. a complete shit head. I HATE CATS. If my girlfriend weren’t so attached, I’d put him down myself.
Gee, after such a rant, I suspect the feelings here are… mutual. If there is hostility; the cat will pick it up.
A funny true story to lighten this up a bit…
This girl spends the night with her boyfriend. When she gets up to pee, she hears the shower…. A roommate beat her to the only bathroom… Well she really has to pee… Ah she spied the litterbox and used it… When they got back from brunch she found that the cat had used her open suit case . Turn around is fair play.
Ha! Talk about territory!
My cat Lucy is 8 years old and this year I made a career change, I am now a firefighter. Often that requires me to work 24 or 48 hour shifts. After a recent string of 48-hour shifts with no more than 2 days off in between (usually 1) my cat started peeing at the base of the stairs, and then in my shoes.
I try to be affectionate when I’m around, and she is fond of me when I’m home, but there’s nothing I can do about my schedule. There are going to be stretches when I’m gone for four out of five days, then on the one day I’m home, as soon as I go to the shower or take a nap, she goes and pees.
I live with my girlfriend, who is home more often, but we’ve only lived together a year and while Lucy likes her, it’s clear that I’m the one she wants to be around. Any suggestions?
If you can take advantage of the time you do have with Lucy, see if you both can focus on a blankie or stuffed animal or other token of your closeness. Take it out, give her treats and fusses, put it away again. Then, when you leave, gift it upon Lucy as a “substitute for you” that will help soothe her when you are gone.
If you create these tokens and rituals that let Lucy know you won’t be gone forever this will help her not feel so lonely and abandoned.
My boyfriend and I have just recently moved about 3 months ago. We have a 3yr old male neutered cat that has started urinating in our shoes or really anything that we leave at our front door (it is never just on the floor). We never had this problem at our old place, and its not a daily occurance. Sometimes he will go a couple weeks without any incidents. I have tried so many different techniques, putting his litter box there, completely cleaning the area with natures miracle, laying down tinfoil….etc. The only difference from our new place and our old, is that we don’t let him on the balcony anymore, because we have a no pet policy here. He already has bad anxiety and does not take well to company (he’s not a nice cat!) Please help me, any new tips would be great!
When I got married I moved into a home where a cat already lived – one that was used to sleeping at the side of my new husband and that didn’t like dogs. I brought an English Setter in addition to myself, and Boris didn’t like it. He set out on a campaign to get rid of us, peeing in Baldur’s water dish and on my pillow as well as in my shoes. He finally relented when I went out and bought a bunch of shelled shrimp and fed them to him one by one. Never did like Baldur though.
I have a cat named Chester .He started peeing in everyones shoes back in September .We dont know why but we have some reasons…We happened to have a cat that passed away in the same month,My cat as the vet says is (special needs). Why is peeing ?!?
He is (Special needs) because he is a very stressed out little cat .Also he is only 3 ,
OK so how do you stop him from peeing in your shoes and laundry?
We recently got a puppy so I understand why he is stressed, PLEASE HELP what do I do? I give him love and cuddles????
Does your cat have a place where the puppy cannot go? I’m sure the new little guy is just trying to make friends, but this can be very stressful for the cat. Putting them in a room of their own, with food and litterbox, isn’t punishment: it can be a great “vacation” and help your cat with this stress.
Wow, interesting article. My cats don’t pee in my shoes, but they’ve gone a couple times in my sports bag. I can never tell if it’s a direct litterbox protest (seeking out a better place to pee if the litterbox needs cleaning), them not liking my sportsbag smell or them trying to work on our relationship. Thanks for sharing this post. It’s given me some new perspective to think about.
Sandy´s last [type] ..Making zines on a summer afternoon
Are there shoes in your sports bag? Our feet apparently exude a pheromone that cats react to with a lot of emotion. Many a kitten has fallen asleep with their head in my sneakers.