Dear Husband Endorses The Way

Followers of this blog will know Dear Husband, whose hands, feet, and random body parts appear demonstrating different Affection Moves. As a man raising his first, and now second, kitten, he is appreciative of how The Way of Cats offers tips for creating a wonderful cat relationship.

Welcome to the blog, Dear Husband. What were your previous cat experiences?

We always had cats when I was growing up, and I liked them. Some of my earliest memories are of playing with Pyewacket, our Siamese, with a piece of yarn or a tissue. Max was a half-Siamese who was really cool. He looked like a Siberian tiger and was a real smart cat, very outgoing and wanted to communicate. So it was interesting when you moved in with Puffy and Mr. Bond.

I remember you welcomed them with some new toys. It was great that you got down on the floor and played with them as though you were a big cat. Though Mr. Bond gave me a look that asked if you had a mental condition.

I was impressed by how well you understood what they were thinking, and the way they interacted with each other, and with us. What I’ve learned is that all cats can be like Max. I didn’t communicate with Max the way I learned to communicate with Mr. Bond and Puffy. It would have been a much better relationship with Max if I knew then what I know now.

What do you know now?

It’s different because I never really knew enough to try these communication and training techniques before. Cats were cats and you let them be.

Now that I have the knowledge to understand cats, and communicate better, it makes the whole experience more enjoyable. It’s actually developing a relationship with a cat, other than the usual “cats are independent” cliche.

And are you nuts about RJ?

Oh, I am. It’s not even comparable to other relationships I’ve had with cats, because from the moment I saw him, all neglected and bedraggled looking, I was still able to see the real cat. And within minutes I was able to understand what he was saying, how happy he was to see his food bowl and the Litter Robot, how clearly he was expressing affection and gratitude.

One thing that is really coming out as he’s getting older, and asserting his individuality, is that he’ll still crawl under my arm during a thunderstorm. He’s an affectionate cat, but by treating him as the unique personality he is, encouraging him to communicate and interact with us, we see much more of that personality than we would without making that effort.

I did all the normal things you do with cats growing up with them. Now it’s a whole different perspective with the immediacy of the responses. It’s like being in a foreign country, not speaking the language, and then you learn it and discover this whole new dimension of existence. They all have ways of making their wishes clear.

I would not have realized they were trying to communicate before, I would have thought they were “being cats” and it wouldn’t have gone further. But once you realize the cat is trying to tell you something, you can interpret their behavior intelligently, instead of thinking the cat is annoying you or making no sense.

I didn’t know about the Vulcan Mind Meld, the cat kisses, and the other fun things you can do with them. My grandmother would say, “Don’t get your face too close, you could get scratched,” but now I see how they make overtures. Once you have their trust, you can do these gestures, talk their language, and they are thrilled to be understood.

They’ve learned my quirks too, such as the “Tufty Feet” game I play with Mr. Bond. Puffy learned to play it too, from watching Mr. Bond. And I realized that Puffy had learned something. It’s a whole world that I didn’t know existed.

It was always extraordinary when Puffy learned something.

Puffy was hilarious, and so sweet, but without understanding him, I’d have thought he was a dumb cat. He learned things when they are presented in the right way. That’s another thing; I always knew cats were individuals, but now I know there are ways of figuring out what kind of individual they are, how the different types need to be treated differently. Now I know I’m a Beta fan, and feel confident about getting more Betas, so everyone gets along.

I agreed a Beta would fit with our other Betas.

And Olwyn is incredible. Cute, of course, the way kittens are, but I use your tips to keep her away from the studio wires, and get her off certain places, and I never feel that training her this way will mess up the affection she is so quick to share. So I get plenty of cuddles without scaring her, and I can relax and feel confident about her growing into another great cat.

I never thought I’d love another cat as much, and as quickly, as I love RJ; but here it is again. Olwyn is so different and unique already, and I’m enjoying the new relationship so much. I figured I had a special link with RJ, just as you do with Mr. Bond, but here’s another special link developing. I love her the way she is, and I look forward to seeing her grow up, too.

So you recommend The Way?

Completely! It’s opened up a whole new world of cat enjoyment. They are so affectionate, so communicative, so much fun. Remember, when I told you you’ve made me a Cat Person?

I remember that very fondly.

It’s true. I’m a Cat Person now.

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