The Way of Cats

I’m not talking about how loud the cat might be when they are looking for us in the house. I’m talking about the volume knob that controls how much sensory input the cat is taking in.

Cats are highly sensitive beings. They are more attuned to their environment than we can possibly be because their hearing is more acute in both the low and the high registers. Their vision is not as sharp in details as ours is, but they can see the glint of light off a dust mote drifting through the air. Their vision is better than ours at detecting motion, and this affinity for movement shapes their response to our body language.

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Cats are also sensitive emotionally. Their response to events is almost entirely based on how something makes them feel. They have some of our own ability to rationalize their own actions, as we can see when a failed acrobatic maneuver makes them pretend I meant to do that. They can talk themselves into listening to their curiosity instead of their caution if they think the circumstances are safe enough. But most of the time they will continue to be cautious, and alert. The consequences of a bad decision is something they feel very deeply.

What does this mean for we humans? We should be sensitive ourselves to how cats react to stimulus. Even the pleasurable acts of grooming, petting, and playing with our cats can be too stimulating. For the cat to handle the vast input they get from our interactions, the cat needs to rely on our trust and love so they know how to handle the feelings that stem from us.

When a cat starts lashing their tail and biting at the comb or toy we are using, it’s a sign for us to back off and let them process the stimulus they already have, not add more. Many people “overcrank” the cat during play, becoming aggressive with their body language and pushing the cat into responding in kind.

They think that because the cat doesn’t leave, the cat is still enjoying it. But this is not so. Some cats will stand their ground, but it’s not out of pleasure. The cat feels they cannot back off, so the only thing they can do is to be more aggressive in their response. They are trying, in cat language, to make us stop.

We can also commit to training methods of persuasion, rather than coercion. Loud voices, wild body language, or physical methods will only make the cat afraid of us. They will totally forget whatever they were doing because our sudden angry presence is so threatening. An expression of dismay or sadness is much more effective at letting the cat know what they are doing is not something we like, and this will let them connect their actions with ours.

Even affection can be too much if the cat is not prepared for it. Suddenly grabbing the cat for a hug will not work as well as a slower approach, starting small, and then getting extravagant. Cats like physical contact more when we let them be mentally ready for it.

A lot of busyness and activity will often send the cat into one of their quiet spots, simply because it is too much for them to handle. They need a place that is not going to overwhelm them. It’s not that they don’t like us or want to be with us.

They just need their input to be at a lower volume.

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There is a kind of cat where people say, “The cat is crazy! They come by, wanting affection, and then bam!”

Aggressive cats exhibit their hostile behavior when they feel overwhelmed. Once the response is in place, it doesn’t matter if the cat is actually cornered or being attacked. If the cat feels overwhelmed in any way, they will choose to respond aggressively if they have been habituated to that response.

They are made that way, not born that way.

That’s why aggressive cats can attack during grooming, petting, and other situations we expect to be pleasurable for the cat. They are pleasurable, and this alone can overstimulate the cat. They don’t know what to do with all this emotion, and if the cat doesn’t know how else to respond, they will attack.

The cat’s people can inadvertently trigger this response when they rough house with the cat. Young males are especially prone to doing this, but anyone who knows how much dogs like it might try it with their kitten or cat, not realizing that a certain personality is not going to leave when the play becomes too rough. Since the cat is still responding to it, and not running away, the person falls under the delusion that the cat likes it. What the cat is doing is trying to make the person stop by increasing their aggressive response.

Any cat who has suffered from aggression in the past can feel trapped and then lash out. Whether it was a street encounter or an abusive owner, we can come across a cat who seems so sweet and well-behaved; until they suddenly aren’t any more.

The first step in rehabilitating an aggressive cat is to stop treating it like a normal cat. It’s not. Like any victim of trauma, the cat is oversensitive and apt to lose their calm in a split second. So we must do our best to not be physical with the cat. Don’t pet them, don’t try to coax them onto a lap, and give them a wide berth.

We shouldn’t ignore them; we can talk to them, slowly blink our eyes at them in “cat kisses,” and otherwise make overtures, such as putting down some treats, announcing it is for them, and walking away. We are trying to let the cat know we are not going to make any moves right now. Then they don’t have to guard against us making moves they have difficulty interpreting.

If the cat is lying in wait for the unwary to come by, we should set up a room for the cat and let them live there for a while. This type is a madly overcranked cat, who needs a lot of peace and quiet to get their head together. Time alone, where they don’t have to worry about other creatures they see as possibly threatening, is a healing time they badly need. If they miss us, good! If they want affection, they need to know how to behave in order to give and get it.

If the cat comes over and rubs our leg or talks to us, respond, but only verbally. We naturally tend to pet the cat when this occurs, but this is too much stimulation for a cat on a hair trigger. We don’t feel comfortable after a few incidents, and we can’t help but translate this wariness into our body language. Then the cat will think we are up to something, and gets more nervous. Stop it at the source by resolving that we will let the cat make all the overtures. If they want to display affection, let them. Just don’t move at all while they are doing it.

If the cat is in a room because of unprovoked attacks, make noises before going into the room with food and water so we don’t startle them. If the cat growls or otherwise acts upset, just do the minimum and get out. The cat is not ready yet. They have to miss us before they can make progress.

Over time, the cat will start making overtures to our hands. This is when we have a breakthrough. We still don’t respond, except verbally, but we can let the cat use our hand to pet them. We don’t make the moves, still. But now the cat is forming a bond with us. Trust will follow.

Help the cat de-stress by using calming tactics, and providing toys for them to play with. We don’t want to hold the toys in our hands or make a lot of movement. Toss the toy if the cat seems interested, but at all times we make slow movements, and also announce that we are going to.

Cats will observe and understand if we keep giving them notice about what we are doing. Remember, while we think the cat is acting unpredictably, the cat is thinking we are the ones behaving that way.

Once the cat is insistent on interacting with our hands, now is the time to wiggle a finger. Don’t make any moves towards their head; this is a behavior which can seem threatening. Wait until the finger is under their chin or on their chest. These are the safest places to exhibit some overtures. Don’t be fooled by a belly display. Showing us their belly indicates some trust, but only at a distance at this point. Continue the soothing words and admiration in our voices about how far they have come.

Slowly, slowly, the cat will enjoy a chest nudge or a chin rub. We will always be moving slowly with the cat, at quiet times when we know we won’t be interrupted. The rest of the time, let the cat go about their routines, getting security from the food appearing on time, their water being fresh, and their litter being clean. These are ways we show our love, and the cat will appreciate it.

Time is our ally. We can’t get impatient with the cat’s progress. A traumatized cat has to build up trust, and that doesn’t happen on our schedule. We have to let the cat indicate their level of healing, and work with them. As time goes on, let the cat move towards more interaction with us, at their own pace.

When the day comes, and it will come, that we can relax and rub our foreheads against the cat’s head in total love and trust, we will be amazed at what we have accomplished.

The cat is no longer crazy.

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Moggies is a lovely UK site with great picture galleries of reader’s cats, such as my own Cat Boys.

There’s a cat care section with a lot of useful tips. If you like it, say hello.

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Do cats have a sense of humor? Of course they do!

Cats enjoy a good joke. Because of our differing verbal abilities, it’s not like we can sit around and tell them to each other. But when expressed through body language, we can have a good time with our cat.

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One joke my cats enjoy is the game of Which Hand? I put in a treat in my hand, and shuffle it behind my back. If they paw at the hand which opens to reveal a treat, they get it. When the hand they paw at opens without a treat, we get a look which will make us laugh.

Put a treat or toy under some little boxes. Show the cat we have hidden something under one of them, then shuffle. Encourage the cat to investigate the boxes.

The laser light toy is one cats don’t get tired of because there are so many baffling aspects to it. Dear Husband recently let the light quiver inside one of my slippers, exciting RJ. We could tell he thought he had cornered that red dot at last. When his pouncing on the slipper resulted in the red dot appearing somewhere else, he took it in good humor. He realizes the red dot has magical qualities.

These tricks we play on the cats are ones they don’t mind because they enjoy puzzles and thinking. Their considerable mental abilities, (as great as a six year old child’s according to many studies,) makes them appreciate mental games far more than most people realize. They know we are pulling their leg by hiding their treats and toys. They like it.

Can cats play jokes back at us? I think so.

Mr. Bond likes to leave his play mice in our bed. Not just left on the bedspread, but hidden under the pillows and stuffed down under the covers. We always laugh when we find them at bedtime, when Mr. Bond is sure to be there and enjoy our discovery. How can we call this a joke? Isn’t Mr. Bond just leaving “food” for us to show he cares?

One night Dear Husband played the joke back at him by pretending to eat the mouse. Mr. Bond gave me a sideways look which clearly expressed his belief that Dear Husband was not getting it, and, in fact, should be checked for a mental condition. So Mr. Bond knows these mice aren’t real. He knows they aren’t meant to be eaten. We hide toys on him, so why shouldn’t he do the same to us?

RJ makes a game out of racing us to the chair in the computer room. He always beats the person in there, and then sprawls on the chair, beaming up at us. He gets rewarded with laughs and cuddles. But we didn’t come up with this game. He did.

Cats love our attention. That’s why, if they do something and it makes us laugh, they will do it again. We could understand a cat doing something and getting praise or petting. But when a cat does something just to make us laugh, it shows that they know laughter is a good thing. They like to do it, for us.

We should return the favor.

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There’s more ways to understand our cat with The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my posts on WHY CATS DO THAT.