Humans use the night hours for sleep, and it’s a third of their day at a stretch. Cats devote twice as much time to sleep, but it’s broken into chunks that are only a few hours in duration, and they are naturally more active at night.
We couldn’t be more different.
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Since we are asking cats for a departure from their natural, instinctive, behavior, we need to signal them that we are about to go into our Sleep Mode. Otherwise, we go around doing the usual inexplicable things humans do, and then suddenly… we vanish.
Cats who mark our bedtime by wailing and walking on us are actually expressing their distress at what seems like a sudden disappearance. Are we sick? Why are we lying here not moving? What is going on?
We need to create a ritual that both signals the cat that we are about to activate our Sleep Mode, and sets the cat up for sleeping properly with us; or at least not bothering us while we are doing it.
We already have a bedtime ritual of our own. Checking the doors, brushing our teeth, and getting into our nightwear are all ways we can signal the cat, if we draw their attention to it. Talk to our cat while we are gearing down for sleep, reminding them that we need to be left alone for our own nap.
We should also incorporate rituals for our cat which helps them conk out when we do. A rousing play session and then a snack are the right things, in the right order, that will make them sleepy, too. Cats naturally discharge a lot of energy, and then take a nap to recharge. Arranging their tendencies to match ours will put us both in the same mood.
Bedtime is quiet time. We can cuddle. They can find the right curve of our knee or stomach to settle against. There can even be some petting and feet grabbing, as I do with Mr. Bond, as they take advantage of us being prone. But soon, the lights go out and it’s bedtime.
The right signals, at the right time, is how they learn that.
So far, so good. If they wake us up too early, see The 3 AM Problem.
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Really cute post. I like the part about walking over us. I am very lucky, only one cat is allowed in the bedroom with me at night and that is the 19 year old. The rest somehow have learned that that is her room.
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I had no trouble training Kill Kill and Byron. I just pulled a towel over my face and refused to react to their play. It only took 2 weeks (four years apart) to teach them that Bed is for Sleep.
DJ, ehh, not so much! After 5 months, he’s the best sleeper in the world. Until exactly 415 AM, when he decides to sandpaper my lips and nose by obsessively licking me, and kneading my neck with his claws out. Around 620, he begins pouncing my face, claws out. So he either gets thrown out of the bedroom at 415, or on work nights, he’s not allowed in in the first place.
I have no idea whether his foster mom let him sleep with her, but I’m guessing she didn’t. But maybe the biggest factor is that Killsy and Byron were trained at 7 weeks, but DJ came to live me when he was 11 weeks. Is there an age window where the training works?
I haven’t found there’s an age window. I think you just have a little firecracker.