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The cat must react. However, we can shape this reaction.
The best way to soothe a cat upset about uncontrollable stimuli is to project soothing indifference. Don’t immediately move to cuddle the cat, especially if they are in a state of quivering fear; that’s about as sensible as abruptly waking a war veteran or poking someone during a scary movie. Emotions are running high, and we don’t want to set them off.
When a cat is upset by sudden large noises, follow the cat to where they are hiding and let them know this is nothing to worry about, and everything is okay. Leave the cat alone to think about it. Our action has created two events, not just one; there was the upsetting incident, but now there is our counterbalancing action of reassurance and concern.
Energy can’t be eradicated, only redirected.
Over time, the cat will come up with their own ways of occupying their energy, especially if we help them. We usually can’t do much about intruding noises. We can only control our cat’s response.
With any relationship of trust, the cat will look to us to see what our response is. This will inform their own. I live in an area with a lot of winter, and a spate of rising temperatures will cause snow to rumble off the roof. It sounds like a freight train has derailed over our heads. The first few times this happened, Mr. Bond would look at me, and I’d shrug and say, “Oh, that’s just snow.” If I was sitting down, I’d lean back in my chair, the very picture of Not Worried About It.
Now Mr. Bond will flick his ears, and nothing more. He’s learned how to react to this sound by copying my response.
This was illustrated by the New Year’s Eve fireworks recently. We are quite near the launching point, and all the booms and whistles are upsetting to my bunch. The humans in the house make a point of acting and saying, “It’s no big deal.” This year, Puffy just sat on a chair, blinking occasionally, and Mr. Bond came out into the living room, where the noise is loudest, to show us how brave he was. We praised him elaborately. After a few minutes, he made a show of walking slowly… and hiding in the closet. After all, he no longer had anything to prove.
The first time RJ experienced fireworks, he was in the house with us and had the benefit of our modeling of the correct behavior. This past Fourth of July was different. We took a blanket out to the lawn to enjoy them.
When we came back, RJ was visibly apprehensive. Without our soothing presence, RJ found the big booms threatening.
It’s also probable that without us there to impress, Mr. Bond had simply hidden under the bed, reinforcing RJ’s worry.
For the rest of the evening, RJ parked himself at the end of the bed, where we were, with his eyes fixed on the doorway. We would cuddle him and talk to him, but each time he would return to his lookout post. By morning, when nothing else had happened, he was back to normal.
But this shows that even the most upsetting external stimuli can be toned down, and the cat desensitized to it. The main problem with these kinds of disruptions is that the cat doesn’t know what it means.
Being cats, they will assume the worst.
This creates anxiety, and the cat doesn’t know what to do about that, either. Then it will erupt in tension, aggression, or hiding.
Give them better ways to cope, and they will.
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They really do pick up on their humans’ behavior.
The kittens I recently fostered were scared during their first big Oklahoma thunderstorm. It was an all-nighter, really intense. I didn’t react, just fed them and cleaned them and cuddled them as normal (they were only a couple of weeks old), and told them again and again that everything was fine. Their next one, only a few days later, they did not react to at all (except when it started to hail violently, which startled even me). Even as tiny babies, they are capable of reacting to a threat, and they look to US, their “parents,” to tell them what is threatening, just like a human child will watch its parents for cues how to react.
I’ve noticed that dogs will come to you if they are scared (our dog used to be scared of thunder). I have only ever had one adult cat that would come to me when it was frightened. They might put themselves in the same room I’m in if something weird is going on, but they don’t need to be right in my lap, like a dog. Interesting that I hadn’t thought about that before now.
Ms Killsy would hide under the bed at the first rumble of thunder, and not come out until 20 minutes after the last one. I would stand by the bed and talk reassuringly to her. After a couple of years, instead of hiding, she’d sit under whatever chair I was in. If I wasn’t home–well, then back under the bed!
Once I adopted Byron, she saw that he was never scared of any loud noise (because he’s deaf). Having seen both a human and a feline shrug off thunderstorms, she now sleeps through them. Young DJ, with 3 exemplars of calm to learn from, also ignores outside noises.
But if I drop a pan in the kitchen…! it’s like a bad horror movie. “The noise came from inside the house!“