This same procedure is of vital importance when it comes to rehabilitating any kitten or cat. They might be having trouble calming down, or enjoying reassurance, or accepting affection. They might not accept training because their logical processes have been slowed down and confused. They might seem stubborn about their “bad behavior” and we worry we can’t change it.

That’s because they have “bad records” getting in the way of processing any new information. Their brain is literally not working right.

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Whether we took in a stray of unknown provenance or got our cat back from some upsetting event, how do we get their database working right again?

Isolate the input. If a database has problems with bad records getting in, the proper response is to shrink down where those records are coming from. This is how we can identify the poorly trained worker, or poorly coded form, which is creating the bad records.

We can do this with our stressed cat. We put them in a room of their own and just let them decompress. Anyone with a cerebral cortex (like cats and humans) will do better when given time and space to think. This can lead to actual thinking.

As social creatures, we see isolation as a punishment. But cats do not. “Lowering their volume” does a stressed cat a tremendous favor. If they get lonely, they will complain. If they are enjoying the solitude, they won’t.

Overwrite the bad data. We need to create the right responses to replace their unworkable ones. When our cat is in their “decompression chamber” they are enjoying feeling in control of what happens. So when we come in with a meal, or to clean the litterbox, they will associate us with food and care.

We are no longer the angry giants who are yelling at them for doing all the wrong things. Now our interactions are pleasant and they are the objects of happy attentions.

We can gradually give them time outside of their room to let them explore the house from this new vantage point. With them doing things under supervision, we can police the situation with other cats, control the unpleasant stimuli that set them off, and put them away again when they need their space back.

Emotions are the doorway. All mammal brains use emotions to guide them in their activities. If something feels bad, we avoid it. If something feels good, we want more!

But using this simplistic rule for disciplinary attempts can backfire if our cat is misbehaving because of fear or stress. Increasing the fear and stress will simply increase the misbehavior. A panicky cat cannot feel reassurance because they can’t calm down long enough to recognize it.

Make a clear space for both of us to learn new rules of behavior. We will both benefit.

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So if we feel our cat is making too much of a fuss over something… we are probably wrong.

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To understand a cat’s sensitivity to stimuli, we must remind ourselves of how incredible our cat’s senses are.

With night vision that can operate at only a sixth of the light humans need, hearing with a 10.5 octave range (compared to our 9,) and a sense of smell fourteen times more sensitive than ours, cats who live in our world are constantly bombarded with input. They are naturally nocturnal creatures, built to prowl a world much darker and quieter than our own.

Living with us, they adjust to dealing with much more brightness and noise. The amazing thing is that they do it so well. So well, we take their abilities for granted.

This is why loud parties with karaoke and clog dancing rarely attract the cat. An action movie with the sound turned up, or a horror movie with lots of screams, can send them bolting from the room. We find it funny, but cats are hearing it much better, and much louder, than we are.

This is one of the many reasons we should never get too physical or too loud with our cat, for any reason. It doesn’t matter if we are trying to convey that they shouldn’t jump onto the opened oven door, that they should leave our feather collection alone, or that we missed them while on our weekend getaway. For a cat, too much can be just a little.

This is why cats tend to hide when they feel stressed. They are not only getting away from living beings, as we often interpret it, but also from their noise and lively movement and insistent intrusions upon sensory consciousness. Small children are completely oblivious to the level and reach of mayhem they create, especially in groups. As adults, we tend to have our “sensors” opened up more, and to have less tolerance for too much input.

Cats are another step away; they have bigger sensors, cranked higher. They need even more distance from any mayhem that is occurring.

Both we and our cats have a similar brain structure: the reticular activating system, or RAS. This is responsible for transitioning us from sleep/wake and for ringing the alarm that gets us from sleep to wake in a hurry if we need it. We might not be aware of how much our brains work like our muscles. Both of them slow down when we have tired them out.

So if our cat is coping with a lot of input, this can simultaneously tire out the part of their brain that makes decisions about it, and build up their energy battery to deal with a possible emergency. This could lead to a situation where our overstressed and overcranked cat “lashes out” in some way; from destroying a roll of paper towels to smacking some clueless person who picked the wrong time to annoy the cat.

We can help by doing things to discharge our cat’s energy for them. We can create a quiet spot we can “bless” for them by carrying them to it, indicating how nice it is, and petting them with soothing words. We can wear them out with an extra play session if they start acting too wired. We can help most of all by seeing what is cranking our cat up too much; and making it stop.

Spending a little quiet time together might just be the best thing for both of us.

For more about how cats react to lots of stimuli, see Cats and their Volume Control.

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Our breakup was pretty friendly, as these things go; except for the two cats. They are both friendly with us and with each other; isn’t there some way we can still swap them between us? We’re both so attached! (To the cats.)

Dear Reader,

This is a tricky one. Their home, their territory, their whole identity; it’s an overlapping, seamless batch of behaviors for cats. It’s tough for them to change it, and then get over it, with any regularity.

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However, as I always say, cats object to the new… until it’s no longer new. With continued, and consistent, attempts at creating routines that let cats know what to expect, and comforting territory at either end, the right kind of cats can make these kinds of adjustments.

Here are the possible pitfalls:

I’m always going to the vet! If our cats can get used to their carrier, such as when we leave it out constantly and feed them treats therein, we can find our cats will look more kindly on being placed in it. But be aware many cats don’t play odds the way we do the horses; if nine times in a row they go to a gourmet cat hangout and get sauteed beef liver on a a silver platter, and then the tenth time they do go to the vet; we’ve just ruined the cat carrier again.

We could have a carrier just for these custody swaps; which would give the game away when we bring out the “vet carrier.” Still, that puts us no worse off than we were before, and can be a valuable tool for reassurance.

I hate redecorating! Someone, somewhere, is setting up a new household when a breakup occurs. It’s hard enough for a cat to adjust to a new home. Then they have to adjust to two new homes. Or they get to stay in their old home… until it’s time for them to visit their new home. Then they get to go back to the old home, eventually. Until next time.

When we remember how much a cat relies on knowing everything in their territory, we can see the wrenching process that takes place each time we transfer the cat back and forth.

I feel a lot of tension! It is possible for cats to maintain two territories. But is it possible for two people to do so? While truly amiable breakups do occur, continually being forced to deal with one another lowers those odds when all we want to do is build that new life, and heal our broken heart.

The smoothness such transfers require will also impose an added burden on such custody disputes; skipping visits, being delayed, and juggling schedules are nerve-shredding agendas that our cats will pick up on. And be made nervous by.

As it turns out, I have some experience with such an arrangement. For several months I swapped Ordell with his foster mother; we were consistent, we both spoiled him, and we began and ended the experiment as friends, which we still are.

Even with such advantages, it became obvious to me that while Ordell loved us all, he was happier with his home and cat friends at her house. While this arrangement was supposed to be temporary, he was not calming down; nor would he. So for the good of all, he should stay where he was happiest.

We were all relieved when we came to a decision, and we could all settle down in our various homes; different than before, but with everyone better off.

Which is the goal of all breakups; to make something better from the aftermath.

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After all, there are so many stressful events we simply have no control over; vet visits, sudden loud noises, or disruptions to our schedule are all things neither of us want, but have to put up with.

Besides; once stressed, our cat needs a way of getting rid of the reaction. We can’t go back in time and let them un-react to it.

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What we should shield our cats from is the feeling that they cannot control their environment. We might not like their stress reactions, but taking those reactions away will only make things worse. So respect these maneuvers:

Strategic retreat. Cats have a flexibility angle in their adjustment to adversity; if the environment isn’t cooperating, just make the environment smaller! When they flee to a little-used room, or hide under a bed, they are clearly communicating that things out there have gotten too much for them, and they need a break.

The cat needs their volume turned down. Yet many people, who cannot ascertain what the cat is upset about, conclude that the cat shouldn’t be upset, and attempt to convince the cat that they should stop hiding.

Our attempts at reassurance should be confined to being happy when we see them, and spending time nearby being nonchalant. Dragging them out of a hiding place does nothing to convince them that we are not part of their problem.

Destroying something. Why do cats shred things when they are frustrated? Well, why do we do it? Action of any kind has a soothing effect when we feel like we can’t get anything done.

Cats feel driven to their scratching posts to work out their excess energy. If we don’t have handy scratching posts they like, they must find a substitute. A cat who continually claws stuff they are not supposed to is crying for help; not being deliberately destructive. Here’s how to train our cat to scratch the right stuff.

Tristan likes to shred tissues when he knows he’s supposed to let the rest of us keep sleeping. My input into this process was to train him to pull a fresh one from a box, not dig through the trash. Work with our cat; not against them.

Being annoying. It’s a sign of trust and friendship for our cat to seek help from us. Yet some people misinterpret these signals as “The cat is being annoying!”

Cats always annoy on purpose. It’s a signal that they cannot get something themselves; they need us to provide whatever it is. This is something we should strive to figure out, and provide, with great willingness and gladness.

This can be a tough task, such as Monday mornings, when I am usually rushing about to get out the door and Tristan is having separation anxiety and inserting his body into any space where my foot is about to appear. But I don’t yell at him to get out of the way; I pick him up and carry him around as much as possible.

That way, we both get what we want. We both get what we need.

Cats try to maintain confidence and control; even if they have to fake it. Admitting they are stressed is a chance for us to show our own friendship and compassion. This is not the cat being annoying or ungrateful or nasty.

This is our cat asking for help. What we do next will shape our whole relationship.

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It’s not just people who get sick from stress.

A recent Ohio State University study found that healthy cats show signs of illness when stressed. Ohio State studies symptoms of cat stress, disease

That’s what I’ve been saying all along! Cats DO NOT like stress. Pretty simple.

A big Thank Ya’ll to all the people who sent this article along to me. Including Pickle.

I didn’t get very far into the article when I found this:

Lower urinary tract diseases occur in about 1.5 percent of house cats, the researchers said, and a lot of pet owners can’t stand the messes that come with it, so millions of sick cats are euthanized or turned over to shelters every year.

The owners of the sick cats at OSU had all decided to have their pets euthanized, but agreed to let them take part in the study first.

I assume these cats have been formally diagnosed, but it’s a fact that 95% of all cats turned over to a shelter for “litter box problems” don’t really have any. Either they don’t want to whiz in a filthy box (and who does, am I right?) or they have an easily fixed medical problem.

Auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh! That is the reaction of rescue workers across the continent. And the many, many people who deal with these problems in their own cats without such a last resort.

It does get better, though. This is an excellent point more people should know:

“This study shows that an enriched environment – one that includes hiding areas, toys, bedding and other physical features, plus an everyday routine including a consistent caregiver, feeding and play times – reduces or altogether prevents some common signs of feline sickness such as decreased appetite, vomiting or eliminating outside of their litter boxes. The significance is that minimizing stress can decrease illness,” said veterinarian and feline expert Jane Brunt, a member of the CATalyst Council, Inc. in Timonium, Md., and owner of Cat Hospital at Towson for over 20 years.

However, I must add that these practices reduces or altogether prevents some common signs of feline sickness because these are common signs of cats under stress. In fact, not recognizing this fact can lead to frustration when people take the cat to the vet, vet finds no organic cause, and then the person goes back home without some stress-busting advice.

Of course, the best thing is not get the cat stressed in the first place, but some changes are inevitable.

During weeks when routines were altered, causing stress, the healthy cats got sick about 1.9 times a week and the others twice a week, nearly tripling the risk for sickness in all the cats. Levels returned to normal when the stress passed, Buffington said.
…
When the cats were sick or stressed, they would vomit, urinate or defecate outside the litter box and eat less, the OSU researchers said.

So it’s really a chicken or egg question, I think. Does stress cause illness, or do cats express stress as illness behaviors?

For now, the researchers hope cat owners and vets will look at a sick cat’s environment before opting for euthanasia.

I couldn’t agree more. Cats can seem baffling and mysterious to those who act from a lack of understanding. Faced with what seem like intractable problems, it’s not necessarily cruelty that leads to euthanasia in these cases.

But coming up with more things to try that might actually work?

Absolutely priceless.

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Or is it a defense mechanism that allows them to hunt single-handedly in a situation where the tables could turn in an instant?

All of the above.

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Cats think highly of themselves. But then again, they have to.

Cats must hunt for themselves in a hostile environment. So cats must project a confident persona. It doesn’t have anything to do with the reality of their situation. This helps them stay focused and ready in dangerous situations.

We love our cats, and so, they don’t live in dangerous situations any more. But the reflexes are still there. So our cats can be confronted with a situation they do not control, and yet feel compelled to try and control it anyway.

This frustration can be the source of a cat’s misbehavior. Destructive and persistent stress behaviors like shredding nearby objects, over-reacting to affectionate overtures, grooming too much, and attacking others, can be traced back to a cat feeling powerless over their environment.

All types of cats, from the DIY Alpha to the retiring Gamma, can find frustration nearly intolerable. So if we find ourselves saying No all too often, and our cat has expressed all too much unhappiness over it,we should take steps.

Have we cat-proofed enough? There’s a reason Persian cats are so often photographed in fussy/elegant surroundings; these Gamma cats generally leave things alone, or at least do not destroy items with their attention. But more paws-on or athletic cats have more trouble with delicates. The cat climbing the drapes is begging for a climbing outlet; the cat who keeps messing with our stuff needs more toys of their own.

Using the element of surprise. Sometimes, when my cats ask for a meal too early; I spring up and give it to them. I usually wait for an especially expressive vocal request, or some gesture of massive cuteness. But if they feel the need to ask with great feeling, I’ll respond with great feeling. This leads to several days of cat conferences as they try to figure out what magic button they pressed.

Give them their grail. If our frustrated cat has a target for their efforts, such as a cabinet, room, or other forbidden area, it can feel like “giving in to them” if we let them explore this space. But if the space is not actively dangerous, we can actually soothe their burning curiosity by letting them in, supervised, and setting a timer to mark the end of their explorations… until next time. Our cat can finally scratch their mental itch, and making us both obey the timer ding takes the decision burden off our hands.

If they feel neglected, they are. All cats will bloom when given more attention, but it’s especially important to our Gamma cats. They hate to be trouble, and when we are busy we can overlook our sweet Gammas in a way our in-your-face Alpha cats would never allow to happen. But a misbehaving cat can be begging for attention; even if the kind they get is “bad.” Switch it up and fuss over them for momentarily doing nothing, and we can see less distress; and less upsetting behaviors.

Cats don’t cause trouble to bother us. Cats cause trouble because a need is not being fulfilled. Enlisting their help to tell us what that need is can work for us on many levels.

Because sometimes, all an insecure cat needs is knowing that we care.

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No matter what else we do, it all comes down to stress handling.

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Whether they are driving us crazy needing to play or driving us crazy with destructive cries for help, cats must have stresses matched to their carrying capacity.

Cat misbehavior of all kinds is keyed into their stress load.

To understand our cat’s behavior, we must understand how their nervous system works. It’s either:

CRANKED UP
- or -
geared down

Cats are designed to quickly transition from one state to the other. The same cat who waits, barely moving, by a mousehole for an hour is that same cat when they explode into action the moment the prey appears.

Cats invented the “cat nap” because they are able to go from “mostly asleep” to “ready for action” in the blink of an cat’s eye.

However comfortable cats are with both these states, they cannot maintain either of them indefinitely. Once they are fully rested, they need to crank up their mental and physical state with some kind of challenging action. Once they have spent their energy, they need the security of being able to completely relax again.

This is the cat’s energy cycle. It stores energy, then expends it, over and over. Just as a car must keep running in order to keep running, a cat must run through their energy pattern to keep their system working.

People run into problems when they expect their cat to conform to a human cycle of rest and activity. Cats aren’t going to sleep eight hours straight. Cats aren’t going to be up and going all evening when we come home from work. We need to pace ourselves, and them, creating places and spaces where we both get what we want. This will let us both rest and recreate when we need it.

Stress comes when a cat needs to have their energy state transitioned; and get no help from their people. It could be not enough play and mental interest, leading to a cat attempting to amuse themselves in ways we don’t approve of. Or it could be a cat who is kept nervous and apprehensive much too much, leading to lack of relaxation. Then their nerves fray and over-fire.

People get the cat’s needs wrong because, to a human, what they are asking for is counter-intuitive. They think the cat who hides all the time needs to be brought out of their shell with stimulation. They think the cat who is bouncing off the walls needs to calm down.

These approaches only make the problem worse.

We will be able to tell which state a cat needs by observing which state they are seeking.

By giving the hiding cat more relaxation, and the bouncy cat more activity; we give the cat the momentum they require in order to transition to their other energy state. Give them some credit for knowing what they need.

After all, cats know more about cats than we do. Don’t hesitate to consult our resident expert.

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Sometimes, our cat can do that, too.

Then the stress of knowing something will happen meets with the stress of it actually happening to worsen our cat’s behavior.

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Whether it’s the seasons or our own behavior patterns, cats are adept at pattern recognition. This can make them realize the last time this went on, something bad happened.

We might not even remember what it was; a dropped pot, especially with food in it, can so engage our attention we can not realize our cat might have been frightened. They didn’t even get an explanation, or a chance to complain.

Under such circumstances, they can brood like Heathcliff in a Bronte novel.

Cats are highly motivated to avoid trouble, which they can’t easily do until they can figure it out. So our cat will lurk around, on edge and preoccupied. We find this unsettling, but don’t know how to figure out what is bothering them.

But we don’t have to figure it out. We can ask our cat.

Cats react in predictable ways to stress we can predict.

If our cat wants to hide under the bed when company comes, we can be exasperated that our cat is not friendly, but we shouldn’t act… after the cat has already made their intentions clear. We should act before our cat has made up their mind about how they will approach this situation.

If our cat associates the running around and sprucing up for guests with attention paid to them as well, we involve them in the process. We build up their confidence. Then they feel as though they can indulge their curiosity a little more with guests, if these creatures make us so happy.

If our cat dreads thunderstorms, waving a toy around, or offering treats, will offer our cat something else to think about, at the least. This lets them know we aren’t taking the noises seriously.

James Bond and Reverend Jim were always afraid of the sweep of a guitar neck over their heads, and usually left the room shortly after its appearance; just to be on the safe side. When Olwyn arrived, she showed she enjoyed the sound of the guitar, and enjoyed closeness to the player, too. Now the cat boys will relax during guitar practice.

Modeling is very powerful. What we do influences our cat.

We should let our cat influence us.

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Even when we consider their fondness for predictability, there’s an extra impetus towards peace and quiet when it comes to cats.

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Cats don’t hang out when our rock band rehearses or a rowdy game is being vocally and physically enjoyed. Even cats who like children hit a wall when it comes to screaming, grabby, toddlers.

Even if the wild activity comes from a human they trust, cats will prefer their human enjoyment to be less of a strain on their nerves. Worrying about our true motivations when we seem to be going crazy makes our cat decide to opt out of the situation, and come back when we are behaving better.

It’s not that cats aren’t lively. I have three kittens; 3 and a half, 18 months, and 8 weeks. They do the “herd of wildebeest” every evening, with or without my help. They love swinging wand toys and tossed sponge balls, but if I started yelling while I played with them, they would hide.

Cats don’t equate good feelings with loud noises. If they make a lot of noise, there’s something wrong. This makes them wonder about us when we are loud and highly active.

Cats don’t like feeling conflicted.

Unlike dogs, who love a rowdy pack of any kind, cats enjoy only limited amounts of mayhem, and only on their terms. This is because they are not pack animals, and while they can be social, they don’t have the same tolerance for noise and sudden movements.

In their minds, such activity is a prelude to someone trying to chase them and eat them.

No one likes that.

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Giving our new cat or kitten a special stuffed toy can be an excellent bonding opportunity.

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When it became clear that our rescue kitten, Ordell, was too Alpha for our small apartment and a chronically ill human, we found a wonderful foster home with a friend. We brought him to his new place with a little stuffed dog that Mr WereBear and I rubbed on the backs of our necks to saturate it with our scent.

Ordell’s foster home turned into a happy permanent home. And he still treasures his little stuffed dog. Though he loves to dunk things in his water bowl, he has never taken his little dog for a swim.

It’s the tactile qualities of stuffed animals which make them so appealing. They offer a cuddly heft which mimics another mammal, and a highly textured surface which holds scents well. This is a big part of their appeal; a cat’s sensitive nose can recall layers of memories in a well worn toy.

Their own special stuffed toy can become their “security object” that we can use to reassure them during stress and anchor them through changes. Whether our cat is a tiny kitten, or a grown cat in a new home, here’s how to present their special stuffed animal:

Choose it right. If we have a kitten, get a toy the same size, or larger, than they are. This will suggest a littermate or mom, instead of prey. If we have a grown cat, they will want to pick it up and carry it places, so we should get one about the size of their own head.

Get a fluffy texture, not a close nap, so it will be snuggly and retain odors well. A soft and floppy structure works the best.

Prepare it right. Whether the toy is old or new, we need to “mark” it as something of ours by rubbing the toy on the back of our neck, or our hair right before we wash it. If we have a little blanket or cat bed cover that they have used, roll up our toy in the blanket overnight so it can absorb the cat’s own scent.

Such scent marking will help the object feel familiar right away. If we are going to wash it, do that first, so our scent tactics will be the freshest.

Present it right. We want to make a little ceremony of it. Tuck it in beside a sleeping kitten so they will wake up feeling comforted by it. For adults, present it to our cat in cupped hands, with a name that makes us smile as we say it.

Never use Mister Snuggums as a toy to throw or stimulate stalking behavior. Instead, treat Mister Snuggums as something important to our cat, as we want it to become. Begin a play session or a homecoming by referencing the toy, petting it, and talking about it to our cat.

If we are successful in creating a special teddy bear-like object for our cat, we will find it appearing in places of interest to our cat as they move it around our home. I knew one cat who faithfully took her little stuffed bean bag kitten to the food station, and then it would appear in the litter box.

At any time we can show interest in our cat by showing interest in Mister Snuggums. Often, we can make a comment about our cat’s toy, and they will appear, ready to share interests.

If our cat does not seem interested in their special stuffed animal, we can always try again. Or we can pick up on our cat’s attachment to another toy, and build that one into our connection object.

Not every cat will respond to such a toy tactic. But for the ones who do, it creates a wonderful feeling of caring between us.

It’s a gift which keeps on giving.

Read more about cats and their security objects.

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