Because it always works.

It’s easy to explore the both the comedic and dramatic possibilities because the newcomer’s instincts will be automatically contrasted with what the natives do. Sometimes it will work better; sometimes, not.

“Fish out of water” is exactly what we’ve done when we bring a cat into our homes.

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Cats arrive to their jobs as pets with fully functioning wild instincts. While they have been human companions since the dawn of agriculture, their jobs as vermin catchers retained their excellent hunting abilities. The only thing that would have changed was to enhance an already existing tendency; the ability to recognize humans as other living creatures on the same social plane.

In the domestication process, this desired behavior is known as “tameability.” As shown in the Siberian Fox Experiment, such an accomplishment can take only forty years from completely wild… to completely domesticated. The result is not only different behavior, but different genetic expression, resulting in animals who look, act, even smell, differently from their wild ancestors.

So I have no doubt that in many ways, the cat snoozing on our sofa is different from the cats who first started hanging out where the rats were; in granaries and other food storage areas. There wasn’t a grand plan in the beginning; only support and encouragement of certain cats who could be playful and affectionate when they weren’t hunting down rats.

The cats in feral cat colonies show that under the right circumstances, these traits can vanish just as quickly. Some ferals, even when rescued very young, seem to have not inherited the structure that allows them to accept humans. They are truly wild creatures.

Yet that is the only difference between ferals and domestic cats. Everything else is predator behavior and is fully operational. So our cats are going to climb things and scratch things and wrestle with things; even things we don’t want them to have.

It’s easy to keep a dog on the floor; they don’t have a hunting drive that encourages them to climb and perch. Some strong dog instincts, such as “goosing” people as a greeting, rolling around in stinky stuff, and barking, can be controlled with training relatively easily. That’s because dogs also have the instinct to listen to the pack leader, and do what they say.

There are no such instincts working for us with cats. They are driven to do the things they do.

We shouldn’t try to keep them from doing these things; we both will be frustrated and unhappy. That’s why I suggest we offer them mutually agreeable ways to climb and scratch and wrestle. Then we build our bond with them, so their love for us will keep them going to “their” things and leave “our” things alone.

This is how we happily live with a cat who continues to climb and scratch and wrestle.

Because no matter what we do, they’re going to find a way to do it, anyway.

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They’re right.

But it’s not because they want to “look down” on us. At least, not the way we think.

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Cats don’t want to stay on the floor because that’s dangerous. Their instincts tell them they are far better off with a higher angle and a more hidden vantage point. So that is what they seek.

Yes, cats like to “look down,” but it’s not really a mental attitude so much as it is a physical one. They also want to “look out,” and not be seen. They love to hang out in place where they feel confident there are many angles they do not have to monitor.

Reverend Jim is currently enjoying such an outpost of his own invention. We have a round plastic clothes hamper where we store plastic grocery bags for reuse. It has lots of oblong holes in it. RJ has discovered that when he gets inside, the bags form a cushy surface for napping, and the holes in the container let him peer out with a degree of invisibility.

I could run the kind of household where RJ wanting to use this container would result in great distress for both of us. I could try getting mad at him for it, and fastening the lid down in some way, and even chasing him out of the area where we keep the container every time we saw him there.

I might wind up with a tidier grocery bag container. I would also be driving RJ away from a territorial need of his. And from me. Because I’m sure one of the reasons he chose it is because it is in our hallway, at a nexus of all kinds of comings and goings that are fun to watch through a spyhole. (I did the same thing when I was a child.)

Chasing him away from this container would mean chasing him away from the center of the home. So now I just leave the lid off the container a lot of the time.

I’m firm about certain things; the kitchen counters are off limits, and certain tippy surfaces are too. But that leaves plenty of places where the cats are allowed, including our bed, a bookcase in the bedroom, the back of a certain recliner, and the new couch.

I understand people who like their homes being just so; tidy and neat and unmarked. I would like that too! However, this configuration is not always amenable to living with other creatures; especially smaller, messier ones like cats, dogs, and children.

Given the choice, I make the one that makes the most; happiest.

For more about cats, furniture, and territory, see Dear Pammy, How do I keep my cats off the furniture?

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It’s not just an expression of a cat’s sardonic sense of humor. It’s not because cats are taking revenge for not being liked. It’s not a coincidence.

The more the cat-shy try to act like they don’t like cats, the more the cats misunderstand their intentions. They are misunderstanding each other’s language.

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It’s because the cat-shy are inadvertently sending out the right signals… to become an intense focus of cat friendship overtures.

It’s classic farce; each of these parties is interpreting the signal in the opposite way it is intended. The more the cat-shy try to avoid a cat, the more they telegraph the opposite message: the one that says, Hello, Cat. I’m politely fascinated. It’s perfectly safe to unleash your curiosity on me.

They won’t make any straightforward movement to draw the cat’s attention, so they actually “flirt” with the cat, by coyly avoiding their eyes and turning away when the cat studies them. To the cat, this is high cat etiquette. It is saying, I’m not going to watch you, so you can watch me in comfort.

The nervous blinking looks like the slow blinks of cat friendship. Being still also invites calm investigation, the way a cat likes it.

To the cat, this looks like they are willing to extend a passive hand to invite the cat to pet themselves with it. The more the cat approaches, the more rigidly extended the “friendly” hand becomes; until it is drawn closer to the person’s body, and invites the cat even closer.

Over and over again, the cat-shy make themselves a passive object willing to be investigated, constantly signaling to a friendly, curious, cat that they should come closer and explore this person who seems to know all the right cat things to say.

What can we tell the cat-shy? We can tell them, but it’s likely they won’t do the gestures that will keep away cats. All they have to do, upon spotting a cat, is:

If we thought about it, we would realize that acting like a giant, clumsy, adrenaline-soaked toddler doeswork the best to get cats to avoid all contact.

This is how the cat-shy can best signal their discomfort; by rudely rushing the potential relationship, showing no respect for the cat’s dignity, and ensuring complete avoidance of their bumptious person.

Knowing this essential cat etiquette will let the cat-shy make a fuss and signal cats away, while the cat-friendly can use these concepts to invite cats in.

I know it’s counter-intuitive. For people. But for this task, we must speak in Cat.

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Except this never, ever, works.

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Our nerve fibers transmit at 100 nanoseconds. Cat nerve fibers transmit at 120 nanoseconds.

See the math, there?

Moreover, cats access these reflexes like a trained athlete, and have the moves of a Tai Chi master. We probably aren’t a trained athlete or a Tai Chi master.

People who try to use speed in a disciplinary situation are doomed to failure. It’s not the pointless futility of it; we can do pointless, futile things all we want. It’s that speed attempts will trigger the cat’s panic mode, and panic mode is what will do the damage.

We keep attempting this futile maneuver because we keep thinking we need a physical component to our discipline attempts. Even if we know better than to hit the cat, we think that we must physically remove the cat, or physically block them, in order to do any good. None of this works.

It’s a primitive mechanism in our human brains; we see the cat playing with whatever, and we’ve told them not to do that. So we charge over there, maybe waving our arms, maybe even yelling something… and the cat freaks and takes off.

Now we can see what happens with foot-pounds of force; against the side of the garbage can, or bundle of wires, or vase full of flowers, or whatever it was the cat was messing with. It’s now far more messed up; and can we honestly say that part was the cat’s fault?

Then we think we at least scared the cat away from the object. Didn’t we think that before? Isn’t that why we got mad when we saw the cat playing with it again? How many times do we have to do this before we admit it doesn’t work?

We haven’t scared the cat away from the object so much as we’ve scared the cat away from us. The object didn’t turn into a monster before their very eyes; so whatever drew them there will still be operating.

However, the trust and love that is what gets a cat to listen to us, and divert their own desires to make us happy, that can be used to help a cat behave; that’s been blown to smithereens for the moment.

Cats have two big problems in the wild; eating, and avoiding being eaten. So they have developed something which helps with both problems; being able to accelerate from 0 to 60 in a very short time.

We want them to only use this power for good.

We should use our gentle voice to remind the cat they aren’t supposed to play with that. We can calmly walk over and remove the cat from what they are doing. We can find something else for the cat to play with, and make happy noises when they do.

Cats may be faster, but we are supposed to be smarter.

Let’s show it.

Find better ways of handling tricky situations with Cats and Breakables. For stubborn problems, see Extreme Measures.

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If we have a confident, assertive, and intelligent cat, they want to expand their Reach.

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We see Reach in action when our cat sees another cat out of the window. Since anything they can see is “their territory,” this interloper should be dealt with. And cannot be. So our cat might work themselves into a fruitless rage over the trespassing cat, since they cannot go out and drive them off in person.

Which is just as well, since the trespasser might be a streetwise brawler who would clean our cat’s clock for them. It’s an awful thing to try to get our cat to the vet when they are dazed from shock and need their scalp sewn back on, so please, don’t assume cat fighting solves anything.

However, we can do a few things to solve this problem; they all involve understanding how different cats view their territory.

My Ultimate Gamma cat, Puffy, loved to lounge on the windowsill, but it was for the amusement factor of the tiny cars and people (we are on the third floor.) He defended no territory at all. Another kind of cat will regard anything they see as their territory, and they must defend it. This is a cat who patrols the windows as much as they lounge in them, and they often pester us at forbidden doors.

They might want Reach.

We can take steps to drive off the marauding cat; setting our lawn sprinklers for the times of day the cat comes around, trying to figure out who the cat’s owner is and having a discussion with them, or, if it’s a stray, investigating live traps so we can evaluate their situation.

In the meantime, we can diffuse our cat’s frustration by giving them more territory. Even if it is only a closet. If we worry about dangerous objects, it can be supervised; our cat will rush about, perhaps looking for the trespassing cat, and being soothed by the discovery that this place is all theirs.

This satisfies their instincts; our cat might still see the trespassing cat in the future, but they can turn off their instinctive alarm by exploring another territory that is still “protected.” Without some kind of closure, our cat’s frustration builds, and they react more violently each time they see the cat they cannot deal with.

We can inadvertently feed their response. It’s bad enough our cat must rage at the window while the trespasser displays “my territory” signals. But when we get upset with the trespasser too, this heightens our cat’s reaction and convinces them it’s even worse than they thought.

This is a tough problem because so much of it is out of our control. The trespassing cat could belong to a neighbor who lets their cat roam at will. The trespasser can be a stray no one takes responsibility for. We can spray the cat with water, we can put orange oil in places they like to sleep, and we can use big chunks of bark mulch to create an uncomfortable bed in our garden. But attempts to take our yard off this cat’s route don’t always work.

Only Cats, highly assertive cats, and insecure cats are the most likely to “go ballistic” when they see interlopers. A cat who is already sharing territory has less drive to keep it free of other cats, though sometimes the response is just as strong in a multiple cat household. That’s because our cat likes their friends, but hates their enemies.

If this is the case, we can try making the enemy into a friend.

Whether the trespasser is a stray or owned, we can display to our cat that we are controlling the situation. Sometimes, the best thing to do when we cannot drive away a cat, is to pull the cat in under controlled conditions.

We can try making friends with this cat. If friendly, we can rub their chest with our fist and then let our cat smell our fist. This makes it unlikely we will transfer any pests or diseases. Smelling our human scent, and the strange cat scent, will help dilute our cat’s reaction.

If it’s a stray who evades our live trap, we can put out food and water at times we are home. That way we are standing by to show our cat we are monitoring the situation. I’ve known strays who can’t help approaching food and water when they see there is no cage around it.

We can try to get the stray to a no kill shelter. If there are only terrible alternatives around us, at least we are getting this poor cat some steady sustenance. In this situation, letting our cat smell the dishes before they are washed, or the paper plates before they are dumped, will make the unfamiliar more familiar.

Remember that our cat going crazy at the window is the problem; it’s a Reach problem. The one thing we cannot do is convince this kind of cat they should ignore parts of their territory. What we can do is:

These are all ways of bolstering our cat’s sense of specialness. They obviously have a low threshold for tolerating other cats. Giving them a space all to themselves, acknowledging their concerns in a cool manner that does not add fuel to the fire, and showing that the trespasser cat is not as bad as our cat’s imagination has built them up to be, all works to lessen this tough problem.

There’s one added benefit of co-opting the trespasser cat in some way; they might keep other, unknown quantity cats out of what they regard as “their” territory.

It’s the solution that keeps working.

For more about cats and territory, see Cats and Territory Templates.

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It can seem to us that our cat is trying to sneak in unobserved, but cats are smart enough to know that is unlikely when we are standing there holding the door. It might be something else entirely.

It might be a mind game.

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My Mostly Maine Coon, Bubby, was a master at sneaking into the basement. From his point of view, anytime my hand touched that knob, something fun was going to happen. Sometimes, it was that I was doing the daily litter changing, which necessitated keeping the door open, and he was free to supervise the operation.

We can widen our considerations and unpack our cat’s motives by considering that our cat wants more than just exasperating us when a quick trip to these spaces turns into a frustrating chase and a source of annoyance.

We can arrange these trips so we can both get what we want.

They might want Satisfaction.

The more something is forbidden, the more curious our cat will be about it. It must be something awesome if we want to keep it to ourselves.

It can be entirely sensible to keep the cat out of the woodworking shop or away from the ceramic kiln. But we may be working against ourselves if we constantly forbid them. The more we bank this fire, the higher it reaches.

When our cat sneaks into a forbidden room right in front of us, they aren’t being stupid about it. They are communicating, the only way they know how, that they would like to be in this room. They are probably doing other communications along these lines, like crying at the door and pawing at it.

Ignoring the request, or telling them No, has not worked. Now we have two bad consequences of the situation:

Remember, wants cannot be extinguished. They can only be redirected.

No good will come of this. So we need to revamp the situation. We should encourage the cat to ask to go in, let them in, and supervise their explorations.

It can be enjoyable for both of us to invite our cat in, explain the different things in the room, talk about our favorite things we’ve made here, and then, when we have bonded over this shared fun, we can take the cat out, promising that we will do this again.

These visits can be even more practical if we try a supervised visit while the dangerous thing is making terrible noises, belching heat, or otherwise discouraging closer inspection. It’s the rare, rare cat who will press things further when they see, and are told, that we were just protecting them from the screaming roaring dangerous monster. It’s because we care!

In my case, it’s Mr. Bond, in the closet, wanting some hideaway time. I’ve been known to show him the timer, set it, and let him lurk in there with the door open. He doesn’t want anything more, he doesn’t damage anything, and we both know he won’t get locked in that way.

Curiosity drives the cat. Satisfaction cures the cat.

For more, see Cats and the Door Fascination.

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What does this mean to us? It means that dogs, who do have buttons, can be trained by anyone.

While cats need a relationship before they will listen to humans.

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We have buttons, too. These are instinctual responses to stimuli, and they are very useful for groups. When a herd of buffalo is menaced by wolves, they put all the calves in the center and form a united front against the wolf pack. When a straggler peels off from a herd, the whole wolf pack goes after the loner. When someone in a fireman’s uniform walks into a room and orders everyone out, everyone goes.

When a person has the right attitude, and conveys their wishes to a dog as a pack leader would, the dog takes their cues from the assumption of authority, and obeys. This is so instinctive to dogs that police and guard dogs must be trained not to listen to anyone but their trainer, lest someone with dog training experience circumvent them at their jobs.

While most dog training works on most dogs, cats have wide ranges of interaction styles and comfort levels. The tricks that work with a clever Alpha will send a gentle Gamma into heart failure. It’s an entirely different situation getting our Beta out from under the bed because they don’t want to go to the vet, and getting the same Beta out from under the same bed because they are afraid of firecrackers.

I can’t walk into someone’s house and get their cat to do much of anything. I have some expertise in showing cats I like them; I have often had a cat on my lap or at my feet within a short time.

But it’s because the cat wants to do that. All I’ve done is show that I am open to friendly overtures. It is up to them to make them.

This is why it’s unlikely we will see cat training shows on television or cat training classes down at the mall. It’s simply a different mindset. Imagine a group of people bringing in their cats for a session about Staying Off The Drapes. Imagine that actually working. Exactly.

This is also why cats fare so poorly in lab experiments designed to test their intelligence. It’s a fairly quick setup to convey to a dog that if they do something, they will get a treat.

Dogs are not about The Environment. Dogs are about The Task.

That is why they make such wonderful traveling companions. This is how they can be trained to perform jobs in all sorts of places, from guiding the blind through a place neither of them has ever been before to searching for the lost or injured in an area entirely new to them.

Cats are all about The Environment. They’re not even going to think about The Task until they have learned the new territory, feel comfortable in it, and have a good reason to listen to the human who is trying to communicate with them.

For a cat to do something a person asks them to do, they have to trust that person.

That’s why I can’t tell anyone what buttons to press to get their cat to do something or to stop doing something. All I can do is offer ways of increasing our communication, and boosting our trust levels, with each different person, and their different cats.

Then again, that is all I can do; because that’s how it’s done.

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It’s a good joke, and like all jokes, there’s a bit of truth in it.

But it actually says far more about us than it does about cats.

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It’s a sign of trust that cats express their wishes. It’s a sign of comparative intelligence to know how to make their wishes come true. It’s a cat advantage that we are not left in the dark about what they need and want.

What cats are doing is expressing a preference, and understanding the differences between their abilities and ours. Remember, cats do things because they want to. And they think we do things… because we want to.

It’s really rather nice, all this joyous doing things we want to do. It’s true that our cats approach us because they want something, but that can be for petting and cuddles as much as it is treats or maintenance.

Cats can ask imperiously, which can be their personality; or just the fact that they don’t have eyebrows. Cats can ask cutely; no one is better than James Bond at rolling over on his back and saluting me with a paw. Cats can ask outright, with special sounds or just a loud meow.

Only a mind that constantly works hierarchically expects someone to be the boss. It can take a bit of retraining to think with equality.

But freeing our mind is worth the effort.

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Whether they are concealing themselves from something which wants to eat them, or trying to be invisible for something they want to eat, cats bring considerable skill to this endeavor.

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While it can be adorable to see only eyes above a windowsill, or part of a face from around a doorframe, there are dark sides to this cat skill. It’s not dangerous to us, unless we’re actually living in the movie The Incredible Shrinking Man. But it can wind up being dangerous for our cat.

Here’s what to watch out for:

Avoiding appointments. One of the best ways to trigger a disappearing kitty is to let slip that they are about to visit the veterinarian. If we get out the carrier the night before, we shouldn’t be surprised if we have to go on a massive hunt for any cat to keep that appointment.

If we have the room to keep the carrier out all the time, this can be an excellent way to establish the carrier as a security spot, and we won’t be tripping their early warning system. If, like me, living space is at a premium, try to keep the clues out of kitty earshot, and have the cat corralled before the carrier makes an appearance.

Give them safe spaces. If we share our home with small children, dogs, or other rowdy presences, we might have a cat who goes to great lengths to find a spot with enough peace and quiet. Taking steps such as creating a room that is off limits to the rowdy beings will let our cat easily get to their spots without going to extremes.

If we can’t go out, go up. I kept many cats happy, even when they lived with 200 pounds of dogs, by putting shelving and carpeted runways on the walls. Bookcases can have a shelf cleared off just for them. Baby gates can keep a dog out while posing no barrier to an active cat.

Keep tabs on them. An active explorer, or a shy unsocial cat; both are equally likely to get into something they can’t get out of. Over and over again, there’s another story about cats being trapped in recliners, folding couches, or house walls.

Whether they are curious or panicked, knowing where our cats like to be will help us figure out where they might be… when they turn up missing. Time is of the essence if our poor cat is stuck somewhere.

Even in our small apartment, there are places the cats like to hide that we don’t know about. At least, not yet. If something scares them, I can rely on them hiding under the bed.

Once, in connection with a vet appointment, I brought James Bond to my workplace on a Saturday. He had a small litterbox, and food and water dishes, but he was unhappy about this new “home,” and he hid. He hid so well that my two co-workers became distressed that they could not find him, and were worried he had somehow escaped.

I knew he had not; and in five minutes, I had found him where my co-workers failed. This was done with one simple principle; they were looking in places they thought he could fit.

I knew he’d be lurking somewhere that an outside observer would think he could not possibly fit. And so, (behind the printer, on top of the box of paper,) that’s where I found him.

Find out more about Cats in their Spots. To understand how cats understand and manipulate space, see Cats and Dimensions.

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It does not seem to make sense; why would potential potential prey wear themselves out this way, before they are even sprung upon?

Behaviorally, the frisky antelope is saying, I dare ya! and cats, who cannot win marathons, steal away to find something less confident. After all, any energy that a cat expends, only to have prey get away, is wasted effort, too.

So we see cats do understand all the uses of confidence.

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Cats who set high goals for themselves are going to jump higher, run faster, and think harder. Seeing cats busy with plans and actions will let a potential predator know that they will be up against a serious opponent.

Perhaps they should find someone easier. Less confident.

This is a cat survival instinct; to always project calm surety.

We shouldn’t tease them about their confidence unless we know they know it is a joke. Be sure to praise our cat for some daring maneuver or successful strategy. Let the cat know we appreciate their talents.

Then our cat can relax, and drop the pretense. Sometimes. James Bond keeps the bar set very high, while Reverend Jim has it lying on the floor. RJ will openly look puzzled, because it’s a way he can get help; and it wouldn’t occur to him to hide it.

It’s not that cats are sneaky, or fakers, or are trying to fool us. That’s a side effect. Cats will maintain a public posture out of instinct, and might not even be aware of how much they are projecting an image.

From the fierceness of kittens to the sarcasm of the senior cat, our cats convey a complex set of emotions. Sometimes, those are not even their true emotions.

But when we love our cat, we let them drop their guard, and show us how they really feel.

It’s always lovely.

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