As seen at left, Tristan is pleased to invent a fort from the holiday rug.

RJ is willing to pretend he doesn’t know where Tristan is. Oh, that clever holiday rug!

This toy lets our cats find new joy in old boundaries. Throwing the holiday rug around has reminded them there are many different ways of thinking about their territory.

Seen here, at right, Tristan enjoys the clear demarcation of sunlight.

While everyone enjoys a good sunbeam, the arrival of the holiday rug has encouraged the cats to revisit the concept of boundaries that define their lives.

The new angle of winter light has placed sun-squares in our cats’ favorite spots. So they are looking at them as more defined; more like objects. Mentally, it is as though a box had appeared there.

Curling themselves into a box, regardless of what plane of reality it manifests on, is always an enjoyable activity for our cats. If we help them periodically reboot all their old templates, they will become more lively and inspired. This is especially important in the winter season when the outdoors (even via a window, as with my crew) becomes less reachable.

Olwyn models the instant reaction of all my cats to their new holiday rug:

I want it.

Tristan is always ready for an attack. He will approach from the right in a few seconds, while my camera flash was recharging.

The holiday rug was placed at the base of the single scratching post. Now both are near my writing desk, a known cat hangout spot. In a single morning every cat will visit, and visit other cats, and play in their, new, favorite ways.

When I changed their territory, the cats wanted to re-invent their routines and games. This is an excellent way of keeping senior cats sharp, letting adults reach mental as well as physical flexibility, and reminding the kitten they have grown.

The holiday rug is both a toy and an environment.

Read about getting the holiday rug.

As always, click on any picture for a larger version.

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With this rug, I am giving our cats a big piece of somewhere else.

The texture is new, it has details to be studied, and the smells were very interesting the whole first day.

It has definite boundaries, and cats love the concept.

It has enough thickness for the cats to be able to sink their claws in, and a canvas backing so it won’t fall apart when they do.

Which they will. Because this is their rug. They can scratch it and wrestle on it and own it.

One of the reliable things about our Tabby Guys is the wild and elaborate plays they put on.

Epic battles are staged. And I do mean staged.

Because RJ started out so much bigger than Tristan, and because he’s so much bigger than the other cats, he does everything in slow motion to make sure he’s not going to be too rough and make the other cat squeal.

This was a major realization of his, once he graduated from toys (which rarely squeal) to kittens. So he’s very deliberate about carrying this out.

It also results in a slowing down of Tristan’s play. This gets him to think over his moves more than he usually would at this age and energy level.

RJ explored the rug, and then Tristan attacked him in it. It was a “battle for territory,” only they are friends; this is play.

The first thing James Bond did when he came over to inspect it was give it an experimental “clawing” while seeing if I minded.

I didn’t mind.

Nor did I mind RJ asking to have his treats put on it, or Tristan attacking RJ on it.

Or sinking their claws into it and rolling up like a taco.

It is their rug, to do with as they please. That is the point.

Coming up next, The Holiday rug continues

As always, click on any picture for a larger version.

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That’s because our cranky cat might not like sharing territory. With any living thing.

This is actually a symptom of insecurity. That’s how we must approach the cure.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

We have a small apartment, four cats, and two humans. There could easily be potential minefields here.

Pushing exclusivity. Olwyn is devoted to Mr WayofCats, and he gets a big kick out of that. But he doesn’t use it to tease either of us. So she never acts out of jealousy because we are careful that she is neither neglected or insecure.

If a human is insecure, the devoted One Person Cat can make them feel better. But acting upset when “their” cat shows friendship to others will create a cat who is afraid to do that; and that will distort this cat’s personality in other ways. Just as the human is letting their own personality become distorted by jealousy, and continuing the toxic cycle.

Mr WayofCats is happy when Olwyn nestles in my arms or when she responds to my overtures of friendship. To act otherwise tells the cat that love is in short supply. And that’s not true.

See Do cats get jealous?

Promoting conflict. Reverend Jim and Tristan are built quite differently. When our older cat and kitten play tag, our older cat can attempt a maneuver that the younger, lighter, faster kitten did; and fail. We could then scold the older cat because “they know better” or we can’t bear to scold the kitten; who didn’t do anything wrong. But the older cat didn’t do anything wrong, either.

By singling out one perpetrator when it was a group effort; we can create resentment. Cats do association quite well; if playing with the kitten gets them in trouble, they are going to resent the kitten’s invitations to play. The kitten can’t stop asking to play; that’s what they do.

We need to create spaces where neither of them will get in trouble; and they can happily play. Directing both of them to the new place or space means the burden is shared; and lightened.

See Cat Tree 2.0 for more about creating space for cat play.

Providing support. Why is our cranky cat so stressed? It could be medical; cats with hidden issues like tooth decay or a persistent bladder infection can absolutely transform once these issues are treated. Our cat Puffy became happier and less distracted when a hidden tooth infection got cleared up.

What are we constantly shooing the cat away from? They might be continually frustrated in their attempts to manage their environment. From lookout posts to scratching posts, cats need to feel they have ownership of their territory, and the ability to arrange it to suit them.

If this instinct is frustrated, we can trigger their drive to make all these other beings leave their territory. They are certain that is the problem; and won’t be loving or social in the meantime.

Here’s some tips to handling The Difficult Cat.

We have a window into the problem, if we remember to look through it.

Conflict is a response to scarcity.

We often make the wrong move without this understanding. When our cat is saying, I don’t have enough windows, we shoo them away from the one where they are knocking over knickknacks. When our cat is saying, I don’t have enough clean litterbox space, we are distressed that they aren’t using their box. When our cat is saying, I don’t have enough attention, we are getting mad at them for bothering us all the time.

Cats are uniquely need driven because they are one of the few pets who are both social; and capable of living in solitary ways, too. If we don’t provide enough, of anything, our cat will feel compelled to wrest it from their environment on their own. That means all these other beings are taking it away.

It can be food, sleeping spots, play areas, or love.

But every cat conflict has deprivation at its heart. The cure is, more.

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A cat trait which can exasperate anyone is the persistence with which our cats might continue to do something we’ve told them not to.

If we shoo them away from something fifty times, they will attempt to sit on it fifty one times.

This certainly contributes to the cat’s reputation as stubborn and untrainable. But what is really going on when this happens?

When our cats “can’t stop,” it isn’t because they’re deliberately being uncooperative. They are driven by an unthinking instinct.

They can feel helpless to do otherwise. They are caught in the grip of a mental compulsion that says they have to perform this task. If they somehow do not complete this task, whether because of our intervention, or the inadequacy of the way they have performed the task; they will be doomed to keep trying.

So when our cat keeps doing something when we have tried to get them to stop, this is is a clear sign that we should figure out what need our cat is expressing; and come up with a better way of fulfilling it.

Here’s some of my own challenges with my last three kittens, and how I worked on them:

RJ jumping to the tops of living room bookshelves: The tops of certain bookshelves, in our bedroom, had been given to the cats. But the ones in the living room are off limits; so I was quick to leap up when he started exploring them. He obediently got down. But for a while, it seemed I was chasing him off these bookcases quite often.

My breakthrough came when I realized he was pausing, and trying to get my attention, before he climbed up there. I found that when I said, “Show me,” RJ would not climb the bookcases after all; he would dash off to ask for something. This was his way of getting me to ask him to Show Me. He couldn’t think of another way to get me to focus on him; and this one always worked.

Once I realized that, I was able to transition him to sitting fixedly in front of me, in a way I could recognize. Now, he leaves the living room bookcases alone; unless he feels neglected. And he’s usually right.

Olwyn wanting to “own” our new couch: Olwyn was about eight months old when we got a new couch. We were delighted with it; and so She Who Rules Us All wanted to let us know it belonged to her, too. We told her not to scratch on it early, and often. While she was cognizant of our wishes, and careful to not do any permanent damage, she also couldn’t leave it alone.

Her obsession diminished, then vanished entirely, as we acquired better scratching posts for the living room. Once she had something big and sturdy enough to “own” for herself, something we admired as much as we did the couch, she was happy to relinquish it back to us exclusively.

Tristan waking me up much too early: When Tristan was four months old, I recognized he was too young to let me know what he wanted. As he got older, he got very good at letting me know what he wanted. The problem then became that the Something he wanted, like me getting up at three in the morning, was Something that he couldn’t have.

My realization that he was acting this way out of loneliness helped me come up with strategies to address that need. Giving him a stuffed hedgehog to hug let him know hugging relieved his anxiety. Allowing him to hug various parts of me made him feel even better, and he started to understand that he could curl up against my ankles even while I slept. While it took patience to get him from 3 AM to 6 AM with these strategies, they did work. As he gets more mature, he’ll get to the alarm.

These were all behaviors I have struggled with when it comes to my cats. But I fix them, once I do, because I know they are not “being bad.”

They are asking for my help. When I give it to them, we are both happier.

Cats want to learn. Read all my posts about cause and effect.

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Can cats get depressed? What does it look like?

Dear Readers,

I know… how can we tell? Doesn’t the cat lie around all the time anyway? Aren’t they resigned and long-suffering as a default?

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

We can encounter cat depression when trying to choose at the shelter; we shouldn’t pass over such cats, since we can fix their problem. It can occur when we adopt a cat from a foster situation; and they miss their other family. This is actually a sign they have a deep capacity for attachment. It certainly comes up when we lose someone in the family, whether it is temporary, or permanent.

Cat depression is not complicated. But the implications, are.

Triggered by: Cats might get agitated while a toy gets lost under the couch, or anxious when we move to a new place, or even panicky if they are caught in the bathroom during our shower. But the only thing that gets them actually depressed is an emotional loss.

Cats in shelters, or even overnight at the vet’s, can be depressed because they lost their home, and the people in it. When any companion of theirs moves away, or passes away, they can miss them terribly. It is a sign of a broken closeness-connection.

It is a mourning process.

Diagnosed by: When Puffy developed a fatal illness and left our home for the last time, RJ became the saddest cat in the world. His appetite left him, his face became blank, and he lost any bounce in his step. His eyes were huge sagging ovals and always seemed unfocused.

Once we see the droopy posture, slightly hanging head, dull eyes, and lack of response of the depressed cat, we can distinguish it from the “brave face” of the sick cat, and the truly aloof looks of the unsocialized feral cat. These adults will look right through us.

Depressed cats, on the other hand, don’t even seem to see us. They are lost in a lonely world of their own.

Treated by: As with humans, time rubs off the sharp edges of grief and our cats will come out of it. We can make a fuss over them to show they are still loved. We can explain it to them even if we don’t entirely understand. They do understand that we are trying to explain, and they find that comforting.

Two weeks passed, and RJ was still visibly suffering, despite our best efforts. So, we got him a kitten, Olwyn. His fascination with this new creature absorbed his attention, revived his spark, and soothed his sorrow. Getting a cat a new home, human, or cat companion works very well, if we can manage it.

Once before RJ had demonstrated the importance of such ties in the lives of cats. When I found him, he’d been under vet care for three weeks, with regular meals, and a bit of human attention. But he wasn’t thriving. He was still almost as thin as he was when he’d been rescued in the first place. It wasn’t until he got his own home, with plenty of affection and attention, that he began making progress.

What will work is our attempts to replace what has been lost. Cats, despite their intelligence, do not have the capacity to grasp abstract concepts like mortality or mourning.

If something is actually missing, something else needs to, actually, appear.

The toughest part of having a cat is deciding to say goodbye. Find help in my posts on coping with end of life issues.

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During the actual heat wave, cats will lie around as though under a spell. Once the heat lifts, the spell is broken; and all that stored energy now seeks an outlet.

We should be prepared.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

At my house, RJ asked to have his favorite long-pole wand toy dragged the length of the living room so he can run full tilt. Tristan played with his trackball for an hour and a half. As the sun climbed higher, the living room (where I was) got a little warmer. Finally worn out again, they picked out favorite spots for naps.

When our cats get this chance to express their energy can vary. It can be at night, when temperatures drop. It can be after we give up and turn on the air conditioner. It can be when the weather changes. But whenever it is, we need to be prepared for our cats to “go mad.”

Seize the moment. It’s likely that the heat lifting will give us more energy, too. But the timing could be bad; we might want to take advantage of cooler temperatures to get some sleep, and cat acrobatics are not going to help.

However, this weather shift can revive their appetites. My cats tend to not eat as much when it’s hot. We can distract them with tasty treats. I like to put their crunchy treats, like Wysong’s Dream Treats, in an empty tissue box, the kind with clear plastic in the opening. They will both play and snack that way.

Call in the reserves. Now is the time for wand toys (for maximum wearing out) and interactive toys (which work without supervision.) Our puzzle box works for both treats and toys; getting something out of it is half the fun.

We should make a practice of toy rotation, anyway. A toy that has been hidden away is the same as a new toy. When our cats are lying around, this is a great time to pick up all their toys and hide them for future activities, whether we are there, or not.

“Hide and seek” can be played with many different items, in many different hiding places. When we remember to engage our cat’s brain, as well as their body, we will be truly wearing them out.

Keep them cooler. We might not realize what we can do to help our cats. We can draw the shades in our cat’s favorite room to keep it cooler during the day. We can leave a fan aimed at a favorite spot. We can put ice cubes in their water sources, or show them that ice makes for a great hockey game in the tub or sink.

Some strategies we might see are sleeping in the bathtub (like Tristan) or lying exactly where the air conditioner’s cold air drops to the floor (Reverend Jim.) Other cats won’t change their behaviors, because heat does not bother them.

Olwyn still sleeps on the couch, like she always does. Her long fur does not have the furry underlayer that heats up RJ so much, and she does not have the driving energy that heats up Tristan’s body. Similarly, our senior cat, James Bond, does not get up a head of steam anymore. His behavior doesn’t change when the weather does.

Explore other cat summer strategies with Keeping Their Cool.

Normally, cats seek out heat sources; we might not be aware that it’s possible for them to have too much of a good thing. Northern breeds like Maine Coon cats, Norwegian Forest Cats, or the Siberian; thickly furred cats like the Persian or their mixes; or high energy cats like many Alphas; these are all cats who will appreciate a little help in summer temperatures.

Just like we do.

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The answer, always, is that they weren’t. We don’t do these things when we are thinking.

When cats, a bundle of reactions at the best of times, react at top speed, stuff happens.

Stuff they didn’t mean.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

As the pet parents of a 10 month old and a two year old, we get a lot of fast, and impulsive, activity. The cat tree is a great place to head for when the drive to Take It Vertical is engaged. Our bookcases and end tables are grateful.

When we observe how quickly our cats can react, and how athletic their abilities can be, our admiration is tempered with the knowledge that these powers are not always used “for good.” When cats engage the Warp Drive, they’re not thinking. At all.

This didn’t have a downside back in the desert. Vistas of sand and clumps of vegetation present a broad horizon with a lot of visibility. We can observe our cats negotiating a road with a clear head and their excellent movement vision and feel reassured. But that’s not when cats get hit by cars. Cats get hit when they are streaking across the road out of nowhere. We can have the reflexes of an Indy driver and still be helpless in such a circumstance.

Our two kittens know they aren’t supposed to use our furniture as an elevated highway. Now that we have the cat tree, we have a better alternative than the back of the couch or the end tables. So when they do get the impulse to take it to a literal next level, their brain can pick the best route; which includes the place they are praised for choosing, not the choice that gets them scolded. While in a high speed pursuit, the young ones will find that the right place pops into their head much more readily than the idea of putting the brakes on their fun.

This is the cat training concept I call Redirection.

Redirection is all about making the Better Alternative available to our cats, and directing their attentions to it at the appropriate times. This is how cats train themselves to make better choices.

This is how we can circumvent our cats’ quick reflexes and strong instincts. The series of actions that gets them in trouble knocking things over or racing into an area they aren’t supposed to be in can be reshaped by tapping into our cat’s own reflexes. This is the series of mental decisions they create as they use their own home-based GPS to choose the best route.

We can reprogram the GPS.

At every turn, cat behavior we don’t want can be most easily eliminated by giving them a way to “do that thing” which we humans like better. Cat training becomes an exhausting and futile business when we see our goal as getting them to not do that thing. While the cat’s brain, an even more influential guide than we are, insists that our cat must do that thing.

This is how cats have the reputation of not being trainable. When it really should be the humans who get that label.

Because cat energy cannot be extinguished. It springs from survival instincts that we cannot remove from the cat. Such energy can only be redirected.

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This is our cat’s hunting style. It’s obviously very effective. Even when people think cats are “just lying there” they might be crouching, in wait. Cats love to project complete disinterest at this stage, while waiting to catch the prey off guard.

It brings up a good point about how cats exercise. It is the opposite of dogs.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

There’s a very good reason we take dogs for long walks and use a wand toy for our cat. In each case, we are offering a substitute for their hunting style, which is how they would spend a lot of their time in their natural state.

Dogs roam in packs and run down their prey. Cats study their prey, and then ambush them when the prey least expects it. So the play we offer these two kinds of pets, and the activities we need to provide, are going to be very different.

Their hunting style doesn’t just explain why our cats “explode.” It means they need to.

Cats gear up, and wind down, all the time. In nature, it would be the long careful observations while planning, deciding on when and where to manage the settling into place, and then more reconnaissance, then patiently waiting for THE TIME TO STRIKE!

When we watch our cat’s behind wiggle and they go for it, this is all that stored energy propelling them into their lightning moves that lead to a successful hunt. This is what they do, and this is what they should do.

If we don’t have play sessions with our cats, they might not be doing it enough. Kittens, adolescent cats, and lively Alphas don’t need encouragement, as we all know. But other cats need a little more incentive than just the idea of imagining prey going by. They’d like someone to throw the ball and wave the wand and put some excitement into it.

So they can get some excitement out.

We might not realize that it’s not simply energy building up, waiting to be released. Our cats are meant to have this cycle continually repeated. If it’s not; then it’s a source of stress.

If our cats can’t release the energy in a good way, they’ll do it in a bad way.

They won’t understand why they feel pent up and out of sorts and bored and cranky. Because they don’t have a readily available way of discharging their potential explosion, it can unleash itself in other ways. They can over-react when they are startled, or harass the other cats to get a reaction, or get fixated on something they aren’t supposed to play with.

These are all things we want to avoid. So crack open the toy box, and start wearing cats out.

They will love us for it.

Watch me explain this process in my Herbal Cat Toy Video.

We can crank our cat up and let them explode by tempting them with the natural excitement, and gentle winding down, offered by a favorite herbal toy.

See my post on Cat Exercise Needs.

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This is especially so for our cats. Their biological imperative is to handle things themselves. Their fear reaction can be swift and dangerous. Combining these factors can result in sadness all around.

One of our pet parent responsibilities is to manage our cat’s fears.

see more Lolcats and funny pictures, and check out our Socially Awkward Penguin lolz!

We might not realize how often, or how frightened, our cat really is until we start looking for the cues; then acting on what they mean.

Recognize our cat’s default response. While out in the wild, being frightened would most successfully be responded to by wildly running away. If this impulse is thwarted, their next step would be turning into a kitty buzz saw.

We can see that this is wildly successful if the problem is a bigger predator trying to eat them. It is far less useful when the triggering action is a dropped pan in the kitchen or a wildly waving toddler.

Look for certain body language. Our cats will put up a brave front. This bravado is part of their fear handling. So we might not know our cat is apprehensive; until we’ve tried to pet them and gotten poor feedback.

Look for: lashing tail, folded ears, eyes wider or rounder than normal, and a hunkered down, crouched posture. As fear progresses, it turns into: humped back, hisses and growls, and puffy fur. Look at their spine; if there’s fur standing straight out, even lifted slightly, this is a frightened cat.

Foster trust and confidence. Keeping our cat’s responses appropriate to the situation is one of the great benefits of socializing our cats. Creating a bond of trust lets our cats give others the benefit of the doubt.

Then our cats won’t jump to Defcon 4 just because they don’t understand what is going on.

Teach the correct responses. While dogs and children reflexively look to their Pack Leaders for help, our cats might need to be taught that we are helpers when they are frightened.

While we should never rush a frightened cat, or pick them up, we can speak in soothing tones and use our body language to let them know this is not a big deal.

Respond to their cries for help. While not every cat is going to seek out our lap when they are upset, as Tristan does, most cats will welcome reassuring gestures that both acknowledge that Something is going on; and telegraph that this Something is not dangerous to us or our cats.

Catching their eye, walking around to display that we are assessing the situation, then acting happy; we might not understand how these little gestures mean a tremendous amount to our cats.

We are recognizing they are in need. We are agreeing that we heard or saw the same things. We are visibly and verbally working to let them know they are safe and loved.

These are ways we would tell anyone we care for and about them.

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Why do cats always want to be on the other side of the door? Because they know what is on this side. The side they are not on… is a mystery.

I’ve always seen cats as an incredible blend of unquenchable curiosity and pathologic caution. They continually balance on a tightrope of:

They far prefer such decisions to be their choice; and that explains the lure of the doorway. Because doorways are thresholds. Lingering on the threshold gives them the best of both worlds.

They can hang on this side; which is known. They can also imagine what is on the other side, without going there. Yet.

This is the source of their seeming indecision; even after they have asked to have a door opened for them, they want to sit in the middle and savor their momentary freedom from commitment. They are both here and not-here; they haven’t gone either way. Which suits them fine.

We have been known to act in a similar fashion. We are often reluctant to give up the present situation, but simultaneously entertain a “wish list” of what we would like changed in it.

Cats are not alone in wanting something both ways.

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