The Way of Cats

There is a kind of cat where people say, “The cat is crazy! They come by, wanting affection, and then bam!”

Aggressive cats exhibit their hostile behavior when they feel overwhelmed. Once the response is in place, it doesn’t matter if the cat is actually cornered or being attacked. If the cat feels overwhelmed in any way, they will choose to respond aggressively if they have been habituated to that response.

They are made that way, not born that way.

That’s why aggressive cats can attack during grooming, petting, and other situations we expect to be pleasurable for the cat. They are pleasurable, and this alone can overstimulate the cat. They don’t know what to do with all this emotion, and if the cat doesn’t know how else to respond, they will attack.

The cat’s people can inadvertently trigger this response when they rough house with the cat. Young males are especially prone to doing this, but anyone who knows how much dogs like it might try it with their kitten or cat, not realizing that a certain personality is not going to leave when the play becomes too rough. Since the cat is still responding to it, and not running away, the person falls under the delusion that the cat likes it. What the cat is doing is trying to make the person stop by increasing their aggressive response.

Any cat who has suffered from aggression in the past can feel trapped and then lash out. Whether it was a street encounter or an abusive owner, we can come across a cat who seems so sweet and well-behaved; until they suddenly aren’t any more.

The first step in rehabilitating an aggressive cat is to stop treating it like a normal cat. It’s not. Like any victim of trauma, the cat is oversensitive and apt to lose their calm in a split second. So we must do our best to not be physical with the cat. Don’t pet them, don’t try to coax them onto a lap, and give them a wide berth.

We shouldn’t ignore them; we can talk to them, slowly blink our eyes at them in “cat kisses,” and otherwise make overtures, such as putting down some treats, announcing it is for them, and walking away. We are trying to let the cat know we are not going to make any moves right now. Then they don’t have to guard against us making moves they have difficulty interpreting.

If the cat is lying in wait for the unwary to come by, we should set up a room for the cat and let them live there for a while. This type is a madly overcranked cat, who needs a lot of peace and quiet to get their head together. Time alone, where they don’t have to worry about other creatures they see as possibly threatening, is a healing time they badly need. If they miss us, good! If they want affection, they need to know how to behave in order to give and get it.

If the cat comes over and rubs our leg or talks to us, respond, but only verbally. We naturally tend to pet the cat when this occurs, but this is too much stimulation for a cat on a hair trigger. We don’t feel comfortable after a few incidents, and we can’t help but translate this wariness into our body language. Then the cat will think we are up to something, and gets more nervous. Stop it at the source by resolving that we will let the cat make all the overtures. If they want to display affection, let them. Just don’t move at all while they are doing it.

If the cat is in a room because of unprovoked attacks, make noises before going into the room with food and water so we don’t startle them. If the cat growls or otherwise acts upset, just do the minimum and get out. The cat is not ready yet. They have to miss us before they can make progress.

Over time, the cat will start making overtures to our hands. This is when we have a breakthrough. We still don’t respond, except verbally, but we can let the cat use our hand to pet them. We don’t make the moves, still. But now the cat is forming a bond with us. Trust will follow.

Help the cat de-stress by using calming tactics, and providing toys for them to play with. We don’t want to hold the toys in our hands or make a lot of movement. Toss the toy if the cat seems interested, but at all times we make slow movements, and also announce that we are going to.

Cats will observe and understand if we keep giving them notice about what we are doing. Remember, while we think the cat is acting unpredictably, the cat is thinking we are the ones behaving that way.

Once the cat is insistent on interacting with our hands, now is the time to wiggle a finger. Don’t make any moves towards their head; this is a behavior which can seem threatening. Wait until the finger is under their chin or on their chest. These are the safest places to exhibit some overtures. Don’t be fooled by a belly display. Showing us their belly indicates some trust, but only at a distance at this point. Continue the soothing words and admiration in our voices about how far they have come.

Slowly, slowly, the cat will enjoy a chest nudge or a chin rub. We will always be moving slowly with the cat, at quiet times when we know we won’t be interrupted. The rest of the time, let the cat go about their routines, getting security from the food appearing on time, their water being fresh, and their litter being clean. These are ways we show our love, and the cat will appreciate it.

Time is our ally. We can’t get impatient with the cat’s progress. A traumatized cat has to build up trust, and that doesn’t happen on our schedule. We have to let the cat indicate their level of healing, and work with them. As time goes on, let the cat move towards more interaction with us, at their own pace.

When the day comes, and it will come, that we can relax and rub our foreheads against the cat’s head in total love and trust, we will be amazed at what we have accomplished.

The cat is no longer crazy.

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There’s more to raising and training a cat with The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my CAT TRAINING TIPS.

There’s no reason a well-adjusted cat can’t get along with small children. At this very moment, throughout the world, there are hundreds of untouched babies with a fistful of cat fur.

see more crazy cat pics

Cats will be curious about this new person, cautious about their noises, and will quickly make themselves scarce if things get out of hand. Most cats will know the child doesn’t know any better, and will give them the benefit of the doubt.

I’ll never forget the visiting two year old who came down the hall with her arms clasped around Smidget, who was a street cat when we took him in as a tiny kitten. His background made him assertive about other cats, but obviously he had allowed himself to be caught by this small person. His only protest was to give me a pleading look. I explained he wasn’t big on hugging, but he loved toys, and soon the little girl was playing with him in a way they could both enjoy.

The more the baby and the cat get to know each other, the more consideration and interaction they will be able to show. Parents should show the child the right way to pet the cat, to learn to leave the cat alone if that is what they want, and the best ways to play with them.

If we have a cat who is still learning to be secure and comfortable about people, it is likely they will solve the problem themselves by not being around when the baby is. In any case, we should be monitoring small children’s interaction with all our pets, for everyone’s benefit. This is how the child learns to treat them well, and enjoy their company.

Because if there’s anything children love, it’s animals. They learn the names of animals with gleeful enthusiasm, they are drawn to their pictures and their presence, and most toys, clothes, and furniture aimed at children have some kind of animal decorating them. I’m a big proponent of children having pets, if only because so many of them want one. They are a way for children to learn empathy, responsibility, and compassion, and will regard their pets as close friends.

Often, a family who is expecting will be bombarded with useless and incorrect advice about the dangers of their cat. It’s true that pregnant women who have not been previously exposed to toxoplasmosis can contract it with possible consequences for their baby, but rare meat, unwashed vegetables, and gardening are also ways of being exposed to this organism. No one advises a pregnant woman to pave over her flower bed.

Simple precautions, such as letting someone else take care of the litter box, cooking meat and vegetables thoroughly, and wearing gloves while gardening, are considered to be sensible precautions for what is also a rare disease. If the cat does not go out, where they can catch and eat an infected rodent, the already small chance of infection shrinks even more.

Some people will repeat the myth that “cats steal baby’s breath” or smother them in their sleep. There has been never been a case of this occurring, and it’s a foolish accusation in the first place. Affectionate cats often enjoy cuddling near the baby, especially when they are asleep. It’s a sad example of cat prejudice that such a sweet act would be so badly misinterpreted.

I have friends who have acquired their liking for cats by growing up with them, encouraged by parents who were cat appreciators, and had no trouble having cats and babies. Many parents, knowing the dog’s higher maintenance needs, and the unlikelihood of small children being able to fill them, are discovering that kittens and cats make wonderful pets for children.

I’ve had people tell me they “got rid of the cat” when they started their family, and I can’t help but feel that it’s a sad thing that part of the celebration of welcoming new life into the family was the betrayal of trust involved in ejecting a previous member. They never seem to have a sensible reason for it. It’s always a mishmash of superstition, vague fears, or even a fervent urge to “make everything clean” for the baby.

There’s a growing body of evidence that too much hygiene is actually not good for babies. Lack of exposure to normal bacteria or toxins can distort the development of the baby’s immune system, leading to it “over-reacting,” and the child being more prone to develop allergies.

Ironic, isn’t it?

So feel confident about new additions to the family, be they human or feline. There’s nothing wrong with cats and babies. With proper care, they quickly learn to love each other.

With love, there’s no such thing as too much.

Got here from a Link or Search?
There’s more to raising and training a cat with The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my CAT TRAINING TIPS.