The Way of Cats

It’s become common for people to discuss pack behavior in cats; who is the dominant one, how status battles are waged, the best ways to accommodate the cat’s hierarchal concerns.

Except cats don’t have pack behavior.

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Cats have social guidelines, attitude rituals, and friendship criteria. They have cats they find annoying, cats they get along with, and cats they regard as buddies. There are cats who want things very much and there are cats who are laid back.

But none of this is pack behavior, and none of it conforms to pack rules.

Dogs are pack animals. We can tell because they have buttons. A knowledgeable and confident dog person like Cesar Millan, the “Dog Whisperer,” can press their buttons and do amazing things based on his knowledge and understanding of dogs. I admire him very much.

But he can’t do that with cats. I can’t do that with cats. No one can do that with cats.

Because cats don’t have buttons.

Lions have “prides,” consisting of a few dominant males and a larger number of females. They are a cooperative structure. That’s the closest thing we can find to a pack in the entire feline kingdom. And it’s not a pack.

The dangers of trying to treat our multiple cats as a pack is that a) it won’t work, and b) it will create tensions and expectations in our cats that will be detrimental to the smooth functioning of our household. What domestic cats have, in the home, kept as pets, is a civilization.

Every dog pack has slots that keep it basically the same. Every cat civilization is independently created from the personalities of the cats, and each one is different.

Cats hang with each other, or not, depending on how much they get along with the other cat. Cats harass or cooperate with other cats depending on what each of them wants and what the other cat is willing to go along with.

The leverage we have is providing unpleasant consequences for behavior we don’t like, and pleasant consequences for behavior we want to encourage. That’s all. Cats are not going to obey us because we are strong leaders, or because they are afraid of us, or because we demand it of them.

Cats do what they want to do. Always.

What we might mistake for dominance is simply a cat who wants the high shelf more than the other cats. What we think is battling for alpha status is simply a cat who wants to be friends, and is frustrated by a cat who is rebuffing their overtures. What we might regard as our lowest status cat is simply a cat who dislikes a lot of confrontation, and avoids it of their own choice.

We have to make a space for each kind of cat.

Pack behavior does not exist in cats, and cannot be used as a management tool. We do the cats a disservice if we think they are working things out on their own. What we will get is a hodgepodge of bad behaviors which pleases no one.

We may not have the status or the instant obedience that would come as Pack Leader. But, as people with cats, we do have the responsibility to make every cat welcome in our home. We can and should stop cat bullying, draw out the shy ones, and make sure every cat gets the attention they want, in the way that they want it.

We are the Boss of Cat Town. Everyone can do what they want, as long as they don’t interfere too much with other cats doing the same thing. Then we can do what we want, which is to enjoy our cats as individuals.

Each and every one of them.

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Once we have more than one cat, we have Cat Town. As every Western movie fan knows, towns need someone to maintain order and keep the peace.

As humans, we have the power, the knowledge, and the motivation to make sure every cat gets what they need. Sometimes, what they need is for us to step in and make sure they are treated with fairness and consideration by the other cats.

We are the Boss of Cat Town.

Proper policing is as much a matter of avoiding disputes as it is dealing with them when they appear. If we don’t allow a particular cat to hog the food or drive other cats away from prime spots, we won’t have to deal with the other cats stress over having their food and nap spots being a source of anxiety, instead of being a source of pleasure.

This will encourage the obnoxious cat to create new behaviors to get what they want. This will reassure the timid cats that they are equally important, and has a nice side benefit of helping them hold their own.

Timid cats truly benefit from their people backing them up. We can’t “leave it up to the cats” because this will create imbalances in the cat’s relationships. Timid ones will be better able to assert themselves if they feel this is what we want them to do. Leaving them alone to fight their own battles will not build their character; it will make them think we want them to be bullied, so they will be more likely to give in.

Reminding the more assertive cats that we want them to get along will encourage them not to throw their weight around. They want to please us, after all; our ignoring the bullying will just let them feel bullying is something we don’t mind. And, after all, we do mind.

We don’t need to be bullies ourselves to accomplish our goals. Putting the offending cat into a time out, making them eat alone in a room, or moving them out of a spot we know they’ve nudged another cat out of to get; these are all ways we can make our wishes known without being mean or frightening. Cats will respond to appeals to their better nature, once they know what is expected of them.

We can also avoid conflict by making sure there is enough for everyone. Separate dishes and separate spaces at mealtime won’t let anyone feel threatened. Widen out preferred spots so everyone can enjoy them if they share. Make the effort to draw in quiet ones during playtime, or make sure we include them before playtime is over.

This is how everyone feels treasured, and in turn, affectionate.

This is how we make a Happy Town.

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There’s more to The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my LATEST CAT ADVICE.