The Way of Cats

The toughest thing about raising a kitten is getting their attention. Well, that, and the fact that they are so cute we often can’t bear to discipline them. Until they exasperate us, and then we might overreact.

There is a better way to get our message across. We do this by letting them know we are looking out for them, and we are doing it because we care.

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So if the kitten is playing with the wires under the entertainment center, we get up and grab our heart. This switches the cat focus to us. What do we want to tell them? “Oh no,” we say sadly, and dramatically. “Don’t play with the wires. You could get electrocuted. You could get hurt and I would be sooooooo saaaaaaaaad. Play with this safe toy that only looks like snakes. Here’s a good toy.” And throw the toy.

You might think this is teaching the kitten that if they play with the wires, it will make us throw a toy for them. But that is not the reaction we will get, because we are shaping a different reaction. We are both warning the kitten away from the wires, and offering another action.

So, as training continues, the kitten is found playing with the wires again, we express our dismay and take the kitten out. “No, no, not the wires! The wires are dangerous.” The kitten remembers we didn’t mind if they played with their toy. If they go after one of their toys, we are ecstatic. “Yes, yes, that’s a good toy. That toy will not hurt you! You make me so happy.” If they don’t make the connection on their own, make it for them. “This toy. This toy is safe.”

Of course, this might not be enough. They might think we don’t want to see them playing with the wires. So they don’t let us see them.

So when we come home and the wires have been played with, we must show them that it’s the wires that are dangerous. Since we are dealing with electrical equipment, we can use a can that shoots air. For objects that can take it, we could use a spray bottle of plain water.

As we put the wires back together, we keep blasting them with air. It’s a brave kitten who will mess with the wires again, knowing, now, that those wires can unpredictably fight back.

Keep up a running dialogue. “Oh, you’ve been so lucky! Blast. Look what happens when I play with these wires! Blast. These wires are dangerous! Blast. Blast.”

Now the kitten can connect the object with a bad outcome. Getting blasted? Not for me.

Even if the kitten is not in the room, they are listening. They want to know. All cats are curious. Those blasts of air or water are now connected with the object. We are not.

Except in a good way; we warned them. We were trying to save them!

They will think more of our warnings in future.

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Ah, the appeal of the Tiny Ones.

Kittens don’t know how cute they are. That’s part of what makes them so cute. They can be so pompous and full of themselves, and then so vulnerable and goofy.

It’s easy to love a kitten.

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But our Tiny Ones have special needs.

We often get kittens when they are really too young to leave their mother. Many breeders don’t let kittens go until 10-12 weeks. This is when they have some confidence and resiliency, and have developed Coping Strategies for handling stress and disruption. Because of the cuteness factor, I’ve gotten kittens from coffee shops and parking lots at 5-6 weeks, or even younger.

Some people, eager to get rid of unwanted kittens, offer them up as soon as they eat solid food, but this disrupts the weaning process. We can wind up with a kitten who is shy or uncertain unless we fuss over their socialization. At this age, they want cuddling and reassurance, and should get plenty of it. Offer food every few hours, since their little tummies can’t hold much, yet their body is growing very fast.

If we have other cats, we should encourage them to take an interest. The kitten is driven to seek out other cats, and most cats find kittens this young to be more baffling than threatening. If we have a cat who is open to interacting with the kitten, we will have a helper who will look out for the baby while we are not home.

If this is not possible, consider isolating the kitten when we are not home to supervise. If they are going to be alone anyway, or the other cats are not yet sure what to do about them, we should consider putting them in a bathroom or even a dog crate while we are away. They will have ready access to food, water, and their litter box. This will kitten proof their surroundings to keep them out of trouble, and will also shrink their world to a size they can mentally handle. Letting a tiny kitten wander around even the smallest apartment, all alone, can overwhelm the kitten and make them feel even more abandoned.

They need to be held as much as possible, preferably skin to fur so they can feel the warmth. They need to be taught how to handle their razor sharp little claws, yet very gently, so we don’t make them afraid of us. Any move with a tiny kitten has that potential; they are dealing with a creature much larger than they are, who looms over them every time they come close.

They are still learning depth perception and physics, so they are likely to get into situations like climbing the dining room tablecloth and then getting trapped on top, or squeezing themselves into small spaces without knowing how to get out. They require more intensive supervision and precautions to safeguard their well-being.

The advantage of the tiny ones is that we are largely responsible for their socialization, and can develop their closeness to people with an ease known to no other stage. Encourage different people to hold them, take them to houses who won’t mind our setting up a temporary litter box and food station during our visit, and try to keep our time away from them to a minimum.

Always be alert. Even when tiny, kittens are capable of Near-Teleportation. (Cats do not obey the laws of physics.) We think they are safely at the other end of the room, and a split second later they are under our descending foot. The safest thing can often be letting our foot down as slowly as we can. While we should never count on it, it is likely the kitten will dodge out from under our foot in their next move. This will prevent the cat dance where we try to avoid them, and they do, too; winding up under our foot again.

Tiny kittens have undeniable appeal, both for their cuteness and their cuddling ability. But of course they don’t stay this tiny very long. We should maximize our time with them when they are so small and vulnerable, making both our care and our presence a constant in their lives.

But be aware there can be disadvantages of taking on a kitten who is so young. They will feel disruptions and traumas more deeply, they will be frightened more easily, and they might exhibit clingy behaviors from leaving their mother too soon. Nursing on couch pillows, panic when being left alone, and stress-related misbehavior can come from bad beginnings, no matter the age the kitten might be when we bring them home.

Even if we don’t get the kitten until later, they might have experienced the double whammy; leaving mother too soon, and then not winding up in a good home during this vulnerable time. So we should make every effort to create security places for our kitten if they seem to need it, such as leaving them an unwashed shirt to sleep on, calling our answering machine and leaving a message so they can hear our voice, and making a ritual of gifting them with a special toy when we leave, that can act as a security blanket.

It says, “We might be gone now. But we will come back.”

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Kittens are known for regarding anything as a toy. This can be of help to us, since there are many objects around the house that we can use as kitten toys. Naturally, they will find a wadded piece of paper, a rubber band, or our favorite pen a more appealing toy than the cute stuff we picked up at the pet store.

Of course, some of these choices are better than others. We should store away our pen, take away the rubber band, and put some things away in drawers and boxes until the kitten gets older.

This is an example of a bad toy. This length of chain is just the right size to be swallowed, and just the right shape to kink up and cause problems.

Anything stringlike is appealing to kittens, but they can also swallow it. Cats eat their prey by tearing off chunks, some of which are stringy. They also nibble on wild grasses. In both cases, the cat’s instinct, upon finding that what they are eating is elongating itself, is to try to shred off any remainder with their sharp teeth, designed for cutting, not chewing.

This means that when a cat gets to chewing, and maybe swallowing, a length of something, they can’t help but keep going. If it’s string or yarn, it usually winds up “going on through,” but not always. We should make sure we supervise play with strings, and not leave them around. Even fastening a string to something too big to be swallowed, like a coffee table, will not help if we find the cat with their chin on the coffee table… and the string nowhere in sight.

We see here that the chain, while just as appealing, has now been rendered harmless by attaching it to a sturdy plastic tag. It will rattle and clank just as well, and we’ve made it even easier for the kitten to pick up and toss around.

Improving their toy, and giving it back to them, can be a great way to show the kitten we care about their amusement, and aren’t just taking things away to be mean. Some kittens grow fond of things, and will follow the forbidden toy with their eyes, noting where we put it.

If the kitten really enjoys a particular object, let’s see if we can’t improve it for them. Give the toy back with a big flourish, and tell them we’ve made it better. If we can’t fix it, tell them so, and try to give them a toy with the same qualities.

We also have to keep track of their toys, because some toys do not thrive on too much attention. Here we see a toy that we stuck in RJ’s puzzle box for him to get out. We did not anticipate that RJ, finding it tough to get out, would shred it and take it out in pieces. I’m sure he had a good time and got a glow of accomplishment when he finally freed it, but now this toy will be retired. These clumps are not only messy, they can be swallowed.

For cats who like to get medieval on their toys, getting them stuffed dog toys can be a good solution. These are sturdier than stuffed animals, and don’t have eyes and noses that are easily dislodged. Likewise, we should put away all stuffed animals that aren’t designed to hold up against attempted dismemberment.

Kittens want to know what something will do when it is played with. So they are going to test all kinds of boundaries. We have to warn them away from dangerous or delicate objects, and sometimes that means we have to use a blast of canned air or a spritz of plain water from a squirt bottle. The kitten won’t connect us with the offensive reaction; they will attribute it to the object, and, if they remember, will voluntarily leave it alone.

If they remember is the key phrase we must keep in mind during kitten raising. They are goofballs, and can’t keep too many thoughts in their head at one time.

If we have to keep reminding them, that’s just the cost of enjoying so much cuteness.

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There’s more to raising and training a cat with The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my CAT TRAINING TIPS.