Way of Cats blog» Find the cat problem, find the cat solution

When they make us get up

WereBear — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 16:00:10 +0000

Every Cat Appreciator knows what I mean: the cat who won’t stop playing with something, until we get up.

Then they pretend they just realized… That’s right! I’m not supposed to be playing with this! and off they go.

Little wiseacres, is what they are.

Cats are not being nasty, defiant, or stubborn when they do this. They are playing. With us.

It’s the Can I make them get up? game, and yes, they can.

It takes considerable intellectual prowess for any being to pretend. So I try to regard this as a feature, not a bug. However, we do need the proper strategies to counter these cat ploys, and keep the game fair.

Consider their motivation. Sometimes a cat cannot resist a forbidden object, and it shows signs of being played with when we get home. This means the forbidden object needs to be blocked off and put away for a while, or a serious substitute made available.

But sometimes a cat will only play with the object to get us out of our chair, and not other times. This is how we know it’s a strategy to make us get up.

So, if we reliably get up to shoo them away from something, the strategic planner cat will sometimes do a Hey, as long as you’re up! move and ask for something.

To change this particular behavior, the cat needs a new signal. React to something else they do. Make that move the target of us getting up and being willing to get them what they want.

Extend our reach. If we are always sitting in our favorite chair, and they are always across the room messing with the silk flowers or the desk lamp or something, we can put a can of air next to our favorite chair. It can speak for us.

It was fun when we got up. It’s not fun hearing the hiss of the air can. We’ve changed the game, and now that they are not getting the response they want, they will have to change what they are playing with.

We can use this to our advantage, because if they change to playing with something we don’t mind so much, we can use this as a good signal that the cat wants something. Cat plays with something that isn’t harmed by the attention, we say, Oh, what do you want, show me, and the cat happily leads the way to what they want.

Show them the games we won’t play. Olwyn loves breakfast. She has learned that during weekdays, the alarm going off is the signal that gets one of us into the kitchen, and she will play with the alarm to make it go off early. (Fortunately, she hasn’t completely figured out the alarm yet.)

When my clock defeats her, she jumps onto the bureau with a lot of rowdy flourishes. That’s because she’s not sneaking onto the bureau to play with something. The rest of the day she has no interest in the bureau or anything on it.

But she quickly learned that if she doesn’t get down from the bureau, I have to get up. And that’s the goal.

So I moved my more delicate earring box off the bureau (which was making me get up) and put a can of air under the bed. Olwyn will have to come up with something else.

I’m sure she will.

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Revealing the Cat

WereBear — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 16:00:07 +0000

We cannot enjoy all our cat has to offer unless we develop a sense of what I call the “true cat.”

Once upon a time I was a bonsai enthusiast. But after a dehumidifier accident killed all my overwintering trees, I decided to start a new gardening hobby, only with rosebushes.

As it turned out, I can learn to constrain living things. But I am temperamentally more suited to encourage them to reach their full potential.

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Bonsai are all about shaping their growth, so they can adjust to their limited boundaries. Roses are all about supporting their growth, so they can produce their biggest, lushest, blooms.

For cats, we must be a rose gardener, not a bonsai gardener.

Why do I consider this so important? Because choosing the wrong nurturing path is a great mistake. It starts off on the wrong foot, and marches straight on into disaster.

The “true cat” is not a measure of what the cat might be now. It’s seeing the potential cat they could be with support and love. It’s letting them relax enough for us to see their best side. It’s us relaxing around them that lets them see our best side.

This is how we become close to our cat.

We must let the cat bloom.

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The Bridge to Grown Cats

WereBear — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 17:00:37 +0000

People like adopting kittens because they feel they can shape the adult cat to come. It’s true that we are training from scratch. But, on the other hand, we are training from scratch.

Older cats are less meltingly cute, but they are also less exasperating. They have acquired self-discipline, learn more quickly, and have a few tricks of their own they would like to teach us. It’s not a drawback that adult cats have already formed attitudes and strategies.

That’s where the fun comes in.

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When we bring home our new adult cat, we should expect some exploration, both of the house and ourselves. The older and wiser the cat, the more low key and reserved their first moves will be. They can be friendly, but we shouldn’t push for instant lap sitting or hugging. They are still figuring us out, and we should let them proceed at their own pace.

We want to acknowledge their autonomy and dignity, while letting them know that we are interested in their companionship. Make friends with these gestures:

Give them something of their own, and make a fuss over the presentation. We can give any toy to a kitten, and they are off and running. Grown cats will appreciate us making a bit of a fuss, and with older cats, it doesn’t even have to be a toy. A little pillow, small stuffed animal, or other interesting object can be given to them as a gift.

Rub the object on the back of our neck, to pick up our scent, before giving it to them. Make a point of putting it in a spot they have already shown an interest in. Any time we want to start engaging with the cat, we can use the object to focus their attention and signal our interest.

Give them a tour of the house, talking up things that affect them. Take advantage of the mature cat’s abilities to understand their needs, and their strong curiosity about how those needs will be handled. Show them their bowls and their litter, of course, but also show them a window that has interesting views and the corner of the couch where you’ve already draped a throw to make it softer. Even if the cat isn’t good at understanding our words yet, they will always appreciate a happy tone and open-hearted effort. This is how we will show our desire for them to be comfortable and happy.

If the cat is not inclined to follow us around during the tour, do it anyway. Their hearing is good enough that they don’t have to be in the room to hear our words. This will signal them that this is a room worth exploring later, on their own. It will help them start to put together our words and our actions.

Announce our own routines, and point out where the cat can become a part of them. Make a point of saying goodbye when we leave, and hello when we come back. When we are going to be in one place for a while, let them know, and tell them they are welcome to join us. Try to make playtime, dinnertime, and bedtime clear and recognizable events by signaling them beforehand, and not allowing these routines to be disrupted too often. If we are going to be late and these happy events will be truncated or out of their usual order, a heads up would be appreciated by the cat, who would be looking forward to them.

Remember that the adult cat has come to us from some kind of complete collapse of their previous life, no matter its quality, or lack of it, at the time. Adult cats have the intelligence and concepts to understand and anticipate events far more than kittens or young cats do. Since we are not growing into these realizations along with the cat, we need to make a special effort to acknowledge, and soothe, any anxieties they might have over the shape their new life will take.

Taking these steps to reassure the cat sends another, highly important, signal. It doesn’t just show we care about them; it shows we know how to care about them. They will then relax into their new home more quickly, and start their most important work, which is seeing how much they can trust, and fall in love, with us.

Getting gamed for the first time by a savvy adult cat is a moment of wonderment. Maybe we stumble into the dim bathroom for an after midnight pit stop, and discover they are waiting there for us. Maybe they are lying on our car keys in the morning, so we have to belly rub in order to retrieve them. Maybe they hid a shoe so we have to get down on the floor to look for it… and there’s their face peeking out at us from under the bed.

The adult cat will tend to create moments where we can “discover” them. This is how they gauge our sincerity. Are we thrilled to see them? Do we appreciate the effort they have made? Are we sensitive enough to understand they can’t risk overt gestures, just yet?

If we act suitably flattered, happy, and welcoming, we will encourage our new cat towards their own realization that we are, after all, worthy.

And the first time our new cat melts into our hand or lap, with adoring eyes and a full-throated purr, that’s exactly how we will feel.

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There’s more to raising and training a cat with The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my CAT TRAINING TIPS.