James Bond: As our most Senior Cat, who is 77 in People Years, James Bond is reflecting his age with increased nap time and new rituals.

While it was not planned, one of the best things we’ve done for James is get him a protege; Olwyn. Knowing that there’s someone properly monitoring everything in the house lets James let go of that duty. We let him know he will still be consulted in an emergency.

Since he has new routines, he seeks me out at different times for special closeness. I keep track of these times and make sure I’m available.

This is another example of how Cat Civilization works for us. James is the kind of cat who would be more distressed about the diminution of his abilities if there were no one else to pick up his slack. Now, he can retire.

Reverend Jim: RJ is actually closing in on maturation only now, at three and a half. He was rescued from near-death from starvation, and had an extremely deprived early upbringing. The fact that he is arriving at adulthood about where he should be is an amazing testament to the recovery abilities of cats.

RJ loves having cat buddies share his favorite activities. Whether he’s in the window with Tristan, on the bed near James Bond, or inspecting the cat tree with Olwyn, he’s much happier than he would be as an Only Cat.

Having cat companions also did wonders for catching up on the development he had missed.

No one should mistake RJ’s mellowness for passivity. He truly is a Gentle Giant, but one of the ways he’s signaling maturation is the occasional lowkey dispute with Olwyn. We’ve figured out that this is his way of protesting, You aren’t the boss of me!

Olwyn: One thing about our Boss Princess; deep down, we will admit she is the boss of all of us.

We got her at six weeks, rallying after a near-fatal spell of Failure to Thrive. We had her an hour when I told Mr WayofCats that she wants to run the whole place. At a little over two years old, there’s no question about her abilities, or her wants.

If Mr WayofCats doesn’t take his nap in a timely fashion, if James Bond needs to be told what the mysterious noise was, if I am late with dinner, or if Tristan is playing with something he shouldn’t; we get landed on with all four paws. She will nudge and chatter and get firmly underfoot until everyone is doing what they are supposed to.

Then she sits back and receives the appreciation of her subjects… I mean, fans! Because after all, credit where it’s due. She makes it look easy.

Tristan: Tristan is nine months old, the baby of our cat family. The interesting dynamic with Tristan is that he will continue to fill this role even after he grows older.

He’s like that.

For some cats, high energy play and continuous investigation tapers off as they mature. With Tristan, I don’t think so.

He’s unabashedly affectionate and will greet strangers; this openness will continue at the same level because it’s an intrinsic part of his nature.

These four cats have created a living dynamic because of their interactions with each other. James Bond can relax, and Tristan is secure, because of Olwyn’s nurturing nature. Olwyn is not overwhelmed, however, because she can draw on James’ expertise, and get RJ to pitch in under supervision.

In turn, this shapes what our cats require from the humans; and what they do not. Mr WayofCats and I got more sleep because we knew Olwyn was watching over tiny Tristan. I don’t have to monitor the Litter Robot or the feeding station very often because a face will appear with reports if something unexpected comes up.

The whole point of a civilization is that different members can contribute in different ways; for the good of all.

Be it human, or feline.

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But while Tristan happily goes to bed with us, he wakes up before dawn all alone. That’s the problem.

This picture was taken from our apartment door on the third floor; with Tristan on the second floor landing.

He is waiting for our neighbors to come home from an evening out; they recently returned from vacation and he missed them intensely.

While we love that he’s so social, these kinds of cats have a downside, too. They need that contact; a lot. While Reverend Jim is highly self-amusing, Tristan will play by himself with toys only if there is someone watching.

This past weekend I hauled out a bunch of stuff that needed to leave the apartment, like garbage and recyclables and laundry. Tristan happily ran up and down the stairs, trying to participate.

It is his good fortune that he found a home with other cats, and a stay-at-home human. Because he’s exactly the kind of cat who could never be left alone.

As it is, when he’s frustrated, I trained him to pull tissues out of the box and shred them; instead of pulling them out of the trash. Sometimes, in the dark pre-dawn hours, that is what I hear him doing; it is a self-soothing strategy he needs at such a time.

Another way he copes is to wrap himself around my head (like the face-hugger in Alien) and go to sleep while making muuu muuu noises. This is his “sad and lonely” sound. One of his first indelible experiences must have been his abandonment to cold and hunger. His response is to seek me out and cling to me.

The rest of the time, he doesn’t need such comfort. He has plenty to do and other beings to do it with.

Whatever project we are working on, we’ve come to expect Tristan to be in the thick of things. But not as a Supervisor; he’s a Helper.

We can always count on him to lend a paw.

We rescued a tiny kitten, not knowing anything about him. See all my posts about Tristan.

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On the left is James Bond, who enjoys his social interaction the most when it is with his devoted Olwyn. She is just like him.

Not because they are both long-haired, long-boned cats; but far more importantly, she has his same love of dignity and procedure. Despite his advanced age, (well in his teens, now,) Mr. Bond would not relinquish his Supervisor Duties until she came along.

As we like to say, “RJ is not management material.”

Our other “duo” is Tristan and Reverend Jim. They both love looking out of windows, cuddling with humans, and cheerfulness.

How did circumstances turn out this way? It wasn’t all choosing, because we didn’t choose James Bond or Tristan; they were in such dire need we couldn’t turn away.

It wasn’t all luck, either, because we did choose RJ and Olwyn for their Beta qualities; such cats are wonderful social buffers between other extremes of cats.

James Bond is shy enough to lean towards the Gamma end of the cat assertiveness spectrum, while Tristan is Almost Alpha. Each one has a cat buddy; not because of their differences, but because they do share common interests, and were properly introduced when one of them was a kitten.

We don’t have to introduce cats as kittens; but it does cut down on the time and space elements so important to proper introductions.

Equally important is the stress levels of each cat, going in; high stress levels will predispose a cat to regard a new cat as a competitor for precious resources. Instead of a friend who can share the riches.

When we are the providers of food and attention; then we are the precious resource. If we have cats who have trouble feeling comfortable, when they can never get enough, it will be difficult for them to allow competition.

If each cat feels like they have enough; then we have abundance.

We rescued a tiny kitten, not knowing anything about him. See all my posts about Tristan.

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I’ve adopted two kittens, but they only want to play with each other… they don’t like to cuddle with me! Did I make a mistake getting two littermates? Will they ever pay attention to their human?

Dear Readers,

I’m a fan of getting two at a time. Yet, here’s a person having difficulty bonding with their kittens. Won’t getting kittens one at a time mean they have to bond with us?

No, it doesn’t. Two at a time solves a lot of issues that interfere with bonding.

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Here’s what two at a time does for us:

Social modeling. Our cat learns best about how to be a cat from another cat. Cats who grow up as only cats often have difficulties getting along with other cats. And guests. And dogs. And family members.

Proper play. If we can run as fast, and leap as high, and wrestle with our kittens as well as another kitten can; then our kitten isn’t missing anything. But unless we have superpowers, it’s unlikely we can match the energy levels of any kitten. Kittens are also able to convey when another kitten is being too rough, thus giving them important feedback we can only approximate.

Better communication. We don’t have to convey our requests to both cats. If one of them “get it,” they both will. Having two doubles our chances of our message getting through.

Less stress. Cats who have plenty of friendship, playtime, and shared goals feel in control of their environment. It is more likely to meet their needs.

So what might be going on with this situation with the two kittens who won’t bond? There are many possibilities, and some of the questions I asked the writer highlight possible pitfalls:

Which approach? Don’t try to get in the middle of a play session. Stepping in when something fascinating is already in progress means short kitten attention spans are going to be constantly distracted. Appear when the kittens are tired and ready to cuddle, and we can see what seem like totally different kittens.

How’s the timing? We can have kittens too young to do much more than nap on our leg. We can have kittens in the throes of adolescent energy who never seem to slow down. We should watch our kittens to see when the best time for interaction might be. Circumstances can separate them, if they have different energy levels or play preferences, and this is another great time to appear.

What’s their background? Were these kittens exposed to people prior to being adopted? There’s an awful lot of “cute barn cats” who don’t have the handling, mom-modeling, or experience with humans required for instant kitten bonding. If they have feral tendencies, they need some special socialization time to overcome their shyness and fear.

Whatever might be interfering with our bonding experience, we should not be thinking along the lines so many have revealed to me, “But if I’m the only one the cat sees, they have to like me!”

Since this is always people who are complaining that the cat doesn’t like them… I don’t think this approach works in practice like it does in their theory.

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The other worry, which took a while to subside, was how social he might turn out to be. Feral issues would mean he wouldn’t bond with humans; being raised by humans could interfere with him bonding with cats.

This turned out to be more wasted effort; Tristan is the kind of cat who loves everybody.

It took a while for Tristan to become autonomous; but once he did it was easy to see that given a chance, he would seek out cuddling. If he was awake, he was snuggled up against a human on the bed.

This is a great first step; but we can mess it up. Likewise, if we have a kitten who is human-shy, we can make up for their lack of trust and attraction.

What Mr. WayofCats and I got was a kitten with a lot of intrinsic human attraction, which we maximized by gentle handling, and giving him plenty of reasons to enjoy human companionship.

What we wound up with was a highly social cat, who comes out to greet total strangers, and sits in laps on short acquaintance.

While Tristan’s human relationships turned into a no-brainer, his cat relationships were similarly simple to encourage. We have (as in this picture, where Olwyn lurks in the background) some beautifully socialized cats… and James Bond, who has raised get off my lawn to a cat mantra.

But Tristan gets along with everyone.

Can we take some credit for this? Yes, we can. Was it his intrinsic nature to be friends with other beings? Yes, it is. Could we have messed it up with little effort? Yes, we could have.

We could have not moderated beginning cat conflicts, and left it “up to to the cats.” We could have been too busy to reassure him all those times he got frightened or intimidated. We could have locked him in his kennel when watching over him was too annoying. We could have ignored the efforts of the other cats, or not helped them when they needed guidance in dealing with such a young kitten.

Fortunately, we knew better. We worked hard at it.

So virtue is more than its own reward. We have a cat whose natural advantages have been ramped up with careful handling. We have a cat who was extravagantly spoiled with affection, just like all our cats.

And when guests come…

They look for Tristan.

This post has pictures from when Tristan was 4-6 weeks old. Because he was so cute then.

We rescued a tiny kitten, not knowing anything about him. See all my posts about Tristan.

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RJ was friends with Olwyn when they were in kitten mode together, and Olwyn was friends with James Bond when they were in Supervisor mode together.

While James Bond and RJ would share sleep mode close together on the bed, they did not share interests. RJ is simply not management material.

Tristan has reconfigured these patterns.

Now, kitten mode happens more often, and will include all three of our “kittens,” as seen here.

RJ, Olwyn, and Tristan all love playing together with the puzzle box, the wand toys, the big purple kitten cube, and especially the laser pointer.

RJ & Olwyn, who thought they had outgrown the laser pointer, can’t resist joining in when they see Tristan chasing it. I believe the subtext is something like: The fool! I’ll show him how to chase the laser pointer!

None of these are interests James Bond can share.

James Bond should feel happy that there are two other kittens lining up for head-wrestling duty. At least, that’s what we tell him.

But he’s often miffed when time he was used to having with Olwyn is taken up with the antics of the Tabby Boys. Still, she is starting to realize her nanny-cat duties are not as needed as they used to be.

So she is more and more prone to let RJ amuse the kitten, and returns to James Bond’s side for their mutual, silent, and contented appreciation of intellectual pursuits, proper meal routines, and Litter Robot operation.

RJ, now that he no longer massively dwarfs Tristan, is becoming more and more enamored of Tristan’s play style, which matches his own in single minded intensity and daring acrobatics; something Olwyn is less known for. The Tabby Boys love to share their amusing and affectionate ways with guests, allowing Olwyn to keep the reclusive James Bond company in the bedroom. RJ also appreciates Tristan for the way he appears to be quite the Treat Generator.

We support all our cats in getting along, from initiating a play session while James Bond is napping to fussing over our cats whenever we see them sharing interests. There’s still plenty of things they all do together, like mealtimes, homecoming greetings, and twirling ears when snow slides off the roof.

Tristan learns so much from watching the other cats, and the other cats enjoy watching his antics.

Even James Bond.

We rescued a tiny kitten, not knowing anything about him. See all my posts about Tristan.

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Tristan is far to one side of the Beta spectrum, with many Alpha tendencies. James Bond is on the other end of the spectrum, having such Gamma tendencies of shyness and a low mayhem tolerance.

While RJ, like in this photo, is squarely in the middle with his Beta traits; he’s friendly with everyone, is calm in adversity, and will be the first to greet guests.

James Bond has mellowed towards Tristan, as in the picture, where he is extending his paw in curiosity and friendship.

Tristan is highly social; on Thanksgiving he readily mingled with our guests, enjoyed a bit of shrimp appetizer, and wore himself out demonstrating his skills with the puzzle box (get the sponge ball out!) and the track ball (wearing myself out!)

This picture shows how much Tristan has grown. He used to be no bigger than Olwyn’s chest.

The two younger cats are enjoying having a kitten, now that he is so much more coordinated, and his body language communicates ideas which make sense to them. This takes a lot of the pressure off James Bond; we can redirect a lively kitten towards Reverend Jim, who is always up for more play.

While Reverend Jim’s size has made him constrained with his play attempts with Tristan, they are able to enjoy play with each other more and more. Tristan is showing signs of becoming a substantial cat one day; he is already twice the size of Olwyn at the same age.

While our care has helped him maximize his natural gifts; they had to be there in the first place. All the fussing in the world won’t make a shy cat into an outgoing cat; it will simply make them less shy.

Despite a rocky early start and a possible feral background, our early worries about Tristan have dissolved.

He’s healthy, he’s social, and he’s happy.

Find out more about the different cat types.

We rescued a tiny kitten, not knowing anything about him. See all my posts about Tristan.

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Olwyn has decided she can mold him. So this is an excellent game she plays almost constantly, demonstrating What We Do to Tristan, helping him develop on schedule and with the right number of bolts tightened.

No matter how earnestly we communicate with Tristan, another cat is the best way for a tiny kitten to learn.

Even if we didn’t have a cat available for wet-nursing, a cat who will put up with kitten clumsiness, and has a genuine teaching interest, can be invaluable help with our kitten’s play and manners.

Olwyn, delicate in body and movement, can play with such a wee one safely. For discipline, such as when he’s been scolded for playing with wires, she likes to plant a paw on his head and press down gently. When she wants to play, she pretends to smack him and run away, so Tristan will chase her.

She has invented a game where she pretends to attack him when he hides under the kitchen cart. He can stand up under it and scamper around, and she skids on the floor because, I can only assume, it amuses Tristan.

Tristan spends a lot of time with Olwyn whenever she is awake, and now she’s started napping with him, too. She will clean the back of his head or nose his belly, he will pat her face with his paws.

He loves to watch her do something from the shelter of my arms, then squirm to get down and try it himself. He has to moderate his attention getting behaviors, such as pawing at our lips and chin, and biting our clothes or fingers.

This is often a hunger signal, and that’s great for him to display. He just needs to learn to keep it less intense. We hiss when Tristan is too rough (Olwyn and we humans, too) and this lets him know he should take it down a notch.

Tristan is now remarkably self-sufficient, giving all three of us much needed caretaker breaks. He can transit his food tray, his little litter box, and his sleeping kennel easily in our bedroom, his home base. But now he’s venturing into all the other rooms, trailed by Olwyn and Reverend Jim. It’s easy to keep track of him that way, with two GPS cats working together to keep him triangulated.

He has started coming when he is called.

With these safety measures in place, and Tristan’s reliable tendency to send out clear distress signals when he needs them, we can let him roam more freely, test his boundaries, and develop his mind and his muscles.

With, of course, supervision.

We rescued a tiny kitten, not knowing anything about him. See all my posts about Tristan.

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As we cared for Tristan his “vet smell” faded and Olwyn became more interested in studying him. Once she realized he was learning new things, she became intrigued and set about shaping him into a proper format. Two things help greatly; one is her young age. At 18 months, she’s still a lot of kitten herself.

The other thing is her supervisory nature. When confronted with a challenge, and then properly supported, Olwyn wants to understand and control the situation. That is a valuable skill; because this isn’t simply a new kitten.

Tristan is a new form of kitten.

Tristan arrived as a puzzling, squirming, often wailing, pretty helpless, creature. While all three of our gang understood he was a cat, they didn’t know what was wrong with him (since something obviously was) and didn’t know what to make of the upset routine (since so much of our time was taken up with Tristan’s care.)

As he began acting more like a real cat, they found their natural reactions to him more in tune, and his increased play both fascinates them… and gives them pause.

Tristan’s tendency to fall over unexpectedly, his clumsy attempts at ambush, and his substandard pouncing, creates an unpredictable package. Not only does this create anxiety for our older cats, it trips their survival instincts, which tell them to stay away from such oddly acting animals. Our reassurance helps a lot.

Reverend Jim was closely supervised with his new kitten, Olwyn, by the old hand, James Bond. So RJ is even more careful now.

The other night, RJ and Tristan were playing with a fat fabric disk. RJ’s paw hit Tristan instead of the toy. He wasn’t hurt, but either the claws were out a bit or RJ (who doesn’t know his own strength) put a little too much force on it, because Tristan gave a quick squeal and retreated into his cardboard box. RJ felt chastened and folded into himself; he didn’t want to play for a while, even when Tristan came bouncing back for more.

James Bond recently came out of hiding to cuddle with us and seek out his spot on the bed; but the kitten’s constant disruptions have him sulking again. He will likely get along with Tristan; Mr. Bond is a big softy. But Caution is his middle name, and he will wait for Tristan to settle into some kind of pattern that he feels familiar with.

Normally, Tristan would be tumbling around with his littermates, all on the same level of skill. They would be up around the same time, and tire after the same stretch. Without such a good match of interests and ability, Tristan just doesn’t offer companionship and play in ways our cats are entirely comfortable with.

But they are very curious about him. That has its own appeal.

We rescued a tiny kitten, not knowing anything about him. See all my posts about Tristan.

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This is my cue to hunt him down, (the more favorite his food, the nearer he lurks,) scoop him up in my arms, and carry him to his dish. That’s the point of the game; that I dramatically make sure he has a good dinner.

He likes to play his game more than ever… because now Olwyn plays it, too.

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James Bond invented the game as a way of getting my attention. Olwyn plays the game to get Mr. Bond’s attention. She’s always loved teasing him, secure in the knowledge that his grumpy demeanor hides a heart of gold.

When she plays the game, she hides further away. I would pick up Mr. Bond first, anyway; he invented it. She’s happy to wait her turn.

This is an example of how cats teach each other important and useful skills. But it’s also an example of how cats use each other for reassurance. Would Olwyn have walked away from her dinner on her own? With (ahem!) a still growing Reverend Jim prowling the kitchen, batting cleanup? Probably not.

But with Mr. Bond showing that I would reliably pick her up and take her to her food, she can gamble, and win. The pivot point was the first time she did it; which she was hesitant about, and took a lot of eye contact with me, first. Now, she confidently hides further and further away.

Because this is a gamble; it’s Cat Poker, the game of risking rejection to get more love.

It’s not only cats training each other; it’s also something which really warms my heart. This will perpetuate James Bond’s Game; the game that asks How much do you love me? at dinnertime. Olwyn has picked it up from him and will pass it on to new kittens. Just as we are the product of what has gone before, in our own civilization, so are the generations of my many cats passing on behavior standards, mutual games, and the security of human love.

This is how my cats quickly learn what is expected of them, and what they can expect in return.

This will keep our Cat Civilization going, in an unbroken chain.

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