The Way of Cats

Cats learn human language, but it’s a second language. Cats communicate most easily and clearly with other cats.

This is part of the Multiple Cat Advantage. We are not only lightening the social burden by providing our cats with friends. We are not only adding to our own cat enjoyment by having more cats.

We are creating a Cat Civilization. The benefits of any well-functioning civilization includes the seamless integration of new members by establishing clear rules of conduct.

Cats can do the training of the new cats, for us.

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All we need is a Beta with the right skills, and we have our civilization’s core. Betas are cats equally at home in both worlds. They model good behavior by refraining from causing trouble, and encouraging other cats to do the same. They also model human affection moves, showing and supporting other cats in their efforts to make friends with humans.

Alphas and Gammas have their spots in the civilization too. They are friends to other Alphas and Gammas. They model the best ways for their type to fit in. They contribute to the Rules of the House that offer a place for every cat.

It is not just in the short term that we find a Cat Civilization working for us. As we add new cats, and, inevitably and regretably, lose others, we find that our civilization offers something else that is bigger than the sum of its parts.

We have continuity.

I have been blessed with many extraordinary cats who modeled the highest standards in human care and understanding. They have trained other cats with their insight and compassion. Thus, while I no longer have some of these cats, I do have the cats they created.

James Bond is my current generational anchor. He was raised by Bubby, my Maine Coon mix, and in turn Mr. Bond is raising Reverend Jim. In his turn, Bubby was raised by Myron, my Siamese-whatever Ghandi cat who was the founding cat of my home cat rescue, and influenced all the cats who came after him.

It’s not crazy at all to have multiple cats. More than half of all cat people have more than one cat. Of those who do not, most want to have another cat, but hesitate over potential cat conflicts.

It’s a problem of commitment.

If we decide we love cats enough to make our lives with them, we should do ourselves a favor. Start with two. Be open to adding more.

Because the more cats we have, the easier it is to have cats.

That’s the strength of any civilization. That’s the strength of committing to a Cat Civilization.

To have something which endures beyond the lifespan of individual members.

It’s tough for Cat Lovers that a cat’s lifespan is only a fraction of our own. We hate to say goodbye to a beloved companion. We can moderate the mourning by knowing we have a structure that will let our lost cats live on.

We can best yield to this reality by loving many cats.

By so doing, we never have to stop.

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Cats who seem to like other cats more than they do people are not unfriendly. They are simply expressing a comfort zone.

They understand the communications of other cats better than they do human communications. This is a learned skill. They can learn it.

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One of the many benefits of having a cat civilization (three or more cats) is that less able cats can learn from the more developed ones. The best way for a cat-oriented cat to learn people is from their cat companions. If they see the benefits of interacting with the people in household continually demonstrated by those cats who get a lot of petting, playing, and pampering, they will see what they are missing.

Cat oriented cats reserve their most vulnerable moments for other cats. With people, they are reserved, because they have not yet learned to trust our human motivations and actions. Break through to them by responding more like their cat companions, and we will have a bridge to friendship.

Call their name for treats or playtime, stand in front of them with the tempting item, give them the slow blinks of eye-contact friendship… but then do not follow through until they follow through.

To us, it is rude to seem to offer something and then not give it. But to the cat, our offer, no matter how tempting, is just that: an offer.

Leave it up to the cat to accept our overture, and these cats will be more likely to take us up on it. It’s a respect issue. We are dealing with a cat who is still uncertain that we will allow them the freedom of choice that they know other cats understand.

Often, the first step a withdrawn cat will take is during these relaxed, respectful sessions. That moment their body nudges closer to get some of the good stuff, that time their head drifts over towards our petting hand; this is the withdrawn cat gathering strength from the acceptance and affection our friendly cats are showing.

It’s a group moment that is the withdrawn cat’s first step on the Bridge to enjoyable human contact.

This is how we invite such cats to invite us in.

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A reader writes,

I wonder if my cat isn’t lonely when I’m at work all day. I’d love to get her a kitten, but what if they don’t get along? I have a small apartment and I’m afraid to take this step.

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Dear Readers,

There are many cats who would enjoy having a cute little sidekick as much as we would enjoy getting them one. The problem is figuring out if our cat falls into that category.

Getting a kitten can lower our risk of cat conflicts, because adult cats recognize kittens as the goofballs they are, and will not be as likely to regard them as territorial interlopers. This makes our introduction process easier.

How can we tell if our cat would appreciate kitten companionship?

• The age of the cat. The younger the better, since we are talking about kittens. Past the age of ten, cats tend to value their peace and quiet more than opportunities for play.
• The activity level of the cat. If our cat, of whatever age, is still looking for intense play, they would be likely to love the recreational opportunities of a kitten. If we notice they have been looking for ways to amuse themselves while we are gone, they are asking for more stimulation.
• The social outlook. We must consider how our cat reacts to new things in general, and living things in particular. Are they interested in visitors, of any kind? Do they hide when things get lively? Do they seem content with our company, or do we see signs that they wish to be busy beyond that?

As much as a kitten occupies our time and attention, the effect is even more so on our cat. Kittens will be constantly approaching the cat for play and cuddles, modeling their behavior after theirs, and interfering with their routines. The advantages must outweigh the disadvantages for the established cat.

Ironically, it is often the kind of cat who is least likely to welcome a kitten that can trigger a person’s wish to get them a companion. Cats who keep to themselves, don’t play much, and appear between long intervals can seem “lonely.” But they are not. They are happy and contented, and would view the constant play invitations of a kitten as harassment.

Loneliness in cats is not when the cat is quiet. Such cats are displaying their natural state, and once grown, they have a reduced ability to deal with the disruptions of kittens, who are impervious to rebuffs and don’t have the social ability to take no for an answer. These cats can’t get the kitten to leave them alone, and the kitten, seeing only one other cat in the house, can’t leave them alone. Strange as it may seem, these cats will react better to two kittens than one.

A lonely cat is an active cat. The kind of cat who is always looking for play opportunities, who requests activities, who is curious about visitors and doesn’t mind changes in the routine; these are the cats who would welcome a kitten of their own. Figuring out what type of cat we have now, and getting a kitten of that same type, is the best way to ensure harmony.

This is how cats become buddies. Shared outlooks and shared temperament builds the bonds between cats.

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Whenever we add a new cat to existing cats, the issue of compatibility can be a daunting one. I’ve known many people who would love to get another cat, but worry about acceptance. This is where understanding the cat types and choosing wisely will let us worry less.

I’m very happy about RJ; it seems I picked well. Of course, the Tale of Ordell indicates I don’t always.

The easiest match is Type to Type. Get an Alpha, another Alpha. If we are choosing kittens, we can use their youthful flexibility to move only one step different from our existing cats.

If we have a bunch of quiet Gamma cats who love their routine, throwing a rowdy Alpha kitten into the mix will create more havoc than if we found a mellow, easy-going Beta kitten who loves to make friends. In this way, the new cat’s preferences will be like the other cats and there are points of compatibility for them to share.

Cats will gain confidence about their own lovableness if they see the new cat getting praise and attention for doing the same things they do. The Gamma cat is horrified when the Alpha gets laughter for their antics, because they know they can’t mess with things the way an Alpha can’t help but do. The Alpha cat is sad when the Gamma gets praise for not getting in trouble, because they know it’s hard for them not to play with things.

This creates cat conflict; the new cat’s way of looking at the world is so different our cat doesn’t know how to make overtures that will be accepted.

Cats are like us; they make friends with shared interests and shared outlooks.

Our attitude, expressed sincerely and with a lot of body language, will help this process along. We can be just as astonished as they are that this new cat appeared. “There’s a new cat in there! What will we do? I wonder what this new cat is like?”

We remind the established cats that they wanted a friend. “Will it be someone to play with? We need a new buddy. There isn’t enough cats to play with right now.”

And with a kitten, we can let them make a claim. “You have a kitten! Not many cats are lucky enough to get a kitten! They are so much fun, and they make you look so smart!”

Just like humans, cats want to know that there is no downside to this new relationship. We can help this along by paying even more attention to the established cats, and not being too effusive about the new cat, except in private. When with the other cats, a new cat has enough on their mind without being a focus of your attention, and the established cats want reassurance that the fun new cat does not mean they will be neglected.

The most important thing we humans can do is not rush this new relationship. If things are getting too tense, let the new cat retreat to their space, maybe with help. Do let the new cat be part of joyous cat occasions like extra dinnertime or new toys. Make it fun for everyone!

With proper choosing, and careful maintenance, the new cat will blend into the household and be a wonderful addition. Multiple cats have many advantages. They are playmates, model good behavior for each other, add to our communication efforts, and narrow the “cat gap”: those times when the humans want a cat around and there isn’t one available. Cats do enjoy having others of their own kind around.

Don’t deprive either of you.

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There’s more about multiple cats in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See more posts on the MULTIPLE CAT ADVANTAGE.