Cat Affection Move: Cat Kisses

Ever notice that when cats are happy, they half-close their eyes?

Here, Cookie demonstrates the heavy lidded “look of love” we are always happy to get from our cat. But many people don’t know we can return that message in Cat Speak.

Cats have a number of body language moves they use with other cats. Many of them are unavailable to us, since (from the cat’s point of view) we lack moveable ears, we walk upright, and we have no tail.

However, cats are marvels at reading expressions, and this is why they often study our face for clues to our intentions. Using our own facial expressions lets us “Speak Cat.”

If we find ourselves matching gazes with our cat, try slowly opening and closing our eyes. The slower we do this, the better we convey our affection. When the cat does the same, be thrilled!

We have just exchanged “cat kisses.”

This is an instinctive behavior of the cat that even kittens possess. We see it when the cat sees something they like, when they are feeling good, and when they want to show friendliness to another cat. Do not mistake this for the “narrowed eyes” which mean they feel threatened. That is when the cat draws back their face and pulls their eyes into a stretched position, accompanied by tightly folded ears and maybe showing some teeth.

When they are bestowing cat kisses, their face is relaxed, and their ears are upright, sagging in relaxation, or maybe tipped back in curiosity.

We might even see the “happy ears,” as in this picture of RJ, where the ears swivel outward to form a smile over their face. In this picture, we see the end stage of cat kisses, where the cat has their eyes closed because they are smiling.

If the cat avoids our gaze, this is a sign they are working on their trust with us. There is always a point where we do make contact, and we should try to fit a cat kiss into the transaction.

The cat kiss is the least threatening way we can convey our good intentions, without the baggage of the raised hand for petting (could be an attack!) or trying to hug them (they’re moving in on me!) They can be the important first step in establishing trust with a traumatized cat.

I used cat kisses to convince the half-feral kitten, James Bond, that I liked him and wanted to be his friend. We’ve been building on that relationship ever since.

One clue that RJ’s early deprivation had stymied his development was the way he would give us cat kisses, but not return ours. He was instinctively expressing his affection for us without realizing he was doing it. By patiently returning his cat kisses, and initiating cat kisses during cuddle sessions, we taught him how to communicate, and now he loves to do this with us.

It’s also a great way to exchange greetings when we are busy, or the cat is. Every time I see Puffy lurking in his favorite spots, I give him a cat kiss; to convey my affection, to let him know his spots are a good place for him to be, and to invite him out for more attention. Often, he will take me up on my offer.

Even small children know how to send kisses to other people. There is a way to send that same love to our cats.

Try it.

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There’s more ways to get our cat to be affectionate in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.