Comments on: After a loss, how long before we get a new cat? http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/after-a-loss-how-long-before-we-get-a-new-cat/3809 grow in understanding Thu, 29 Jul 2010 22:07:25 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Cindy http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/after-a-loss-how-long-before-we-get-a-new-cat/3809/comment-page-1#comment-5515 Cindy Sun, 18 Jul 2010 15:48:32 +0000 http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/?p=3809#comment-5515 My 6 year old sweetheart Leila died yesterday. She was in the hospital for 4 days and after several proceedures and the good vets there, she didn't pull through. I pretty much hadn't eaten or slept for four days and I couldn't focus at work and I've cancelled meetings and pushed some deadlines to the critical point. Now she is gone. I've been alternating between sobbing and trying to "snap out of it". The other huge problem is that her full sister is wandering around the house looking this way and that, meowing. Last night she camped at the juncture of two hallways and kept turning her head to look down one hallway then the other. It is breaking my heart. Of course, my left brain knows that if I don't focus on getting my work done, neither of us will have a home! I've decided to get a new kitten, introduce my surviving kitty slowly and hope to again have peace. I appreciate this column to be able to share. My 6 year old sweetheart Leila died yesterday. She was in the hospital for 4 days and after several proceedures and the good vets there, she didn’t pull through. I pretty much hadn’t eaten or slept for four days and I couldn’t focus at work and I’ve cancelled meetings and pushed some deadlines to the critical point. Now she is gone. I’ve been alternating between sobbing and trying to “snap out of it”. The other huge problem is that her full sister is wandering around the house looking this way and that, meowing. Last night she camped at the juncture of two hallways and kept turning her head to look down one hallway then the other. It is breaking my heart. Of course, my left brain knows that if I don’t focus on getting my work done, neither of us will have a home! I’ve decided to get a new kitten, introduce my surviving kitty slowly and hope to again have peace. I appreciate this column to be able to share.

]]> By: WereBear http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/after-a-loss-how-long-before-we-get-a-new-cat/3809/comment-page-1#comment-5373 WereBear Fri, 25 Jun 2010 10:37:01 +0000 http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/?p=3809#comment-5373 You are very welcome, lizzie. Bebe was very special, but the glad thing (and the sad thing) is that there are many wonderful cats out there needing a home. I hope you find another special cat and give her all the love that Bebe enjoyed. You are very welcome, lizzie. Bebe was very special, but the glad thing (and the sad thing) is that there are many wonderful cats out there needing a home. I hope you find another special cat and give her all the love that Bebe enjoyed.

]]> By: lizzie http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/after-a-loss-how-long-before-we-get-a-new-cat/3809/comment-page-1#comment-5372 lizzie Fri, 25 Jun 2010 04:46:10 +0000 http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/?p=3809#comment-5372 hi i found this site and it makes feel better. my cat Bebe died a week ago from kidney failure. she was 13 years old. i got her for my tenth birthday. i loved her i still do. i miss her all the time. she was my best friend for so long. she was always there. kissing me and sleeping with me. she even wake me up by licking my face if she thought i was up to late. it was very hard to put her down. she didnt show she was sick until 3 days before i put her down. she was down to 1 kidney and it wasnt even working at 25%. she hated the vet and neddles i couldnt put her though stress. letting my kitty go to heaven was the hardest thing i have ever done. she died in my arms in a blanket from the dirty laudery (her favorite place to sleep), i couldnt let her die alone. a couple of days ago i started looking for kittens. i felt like bebe would be upset with me if i was looking for another cat like she think i would be replacing her. no cat would replace her. but i feel so alone. my mom thinks i should wait. but all i do is reseach kittens and how to take care of them (the last time i had a kitten was my bebe). but this article helped me out and i want to thank you hi i found this site and it makes feel better. my cat Bebe died a week ago from kidney failure. she was 13 years old. i got her for my tenth birthday. i loved her i still do. i miss her all the time. she was my best friend for so long. she was always there. kissing me and sleeping with me. she even wake me up by licking my face if she thought i was up to late. it was very hard to put her down. she didnt show she was sick until 3 days before i put her down. she was down to 1 kidney and it wasnt even working at 25%. she hated the vet and neddles i couldnt put her though stress. letting my kitty go to heaven was the hardest thing i have ever done. she died in my arms in a blanket from the dirty laudery (her favorite place to sleep), i couldnt let her die alone. a couple of days ago i started looking for kittens. i felt like bebe would be upset with me if i was looking for another cat like she think i would be replacing her. no cat would replace her. but i feel so alone. my mom thinks i should wait. but all i do is reseach kittens and how to take care of them (the last time i had a kitten was my bebe). but this article helped me out and i want to thank you

]]> By: WereBear http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/after-a-loss-how-long-before-we-get-a-new-cat/3809/comment-page-1#comment-5288 WereBear Mon, 14 Jun 2010 23:33:20 +0000 http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/?p=3809#comment-5288 I'm so sorry, Alison. That is so young, and so unexpected, it's no wonder you still feel a sense of shock along with the mourning. I'm glad my post helped, and that you are focusing on the good memories. Those will always be with us. I’m so sorry, Alison. That is so young, and so unexpected, it’s no wonder you still feel a sense of shock along with the mourning. I’m glad my post helped, and that you are focusing on the good memories. Those will always be with us.

]]> By: Alison http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/after-a-loss-how-long-before-we-get-a-new-cat/3809/comment-page-1#comment-5284 Alison Mon, 14 Jun 2010 18:03:23 +0000 http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/?p=3809#comment-5284 My husband and I lost one of our cats, Sadie, unexpectedly yesterday. She was only 4. We were playing with her for about 20 minutes, having a blast like any normal day of play, and within 2 minutes of stopping she started howling in pain and could barely move her hind legs. We thought she had gone in the other room and played way too rough with Sunie (our other cat) and broken her leg, and we called the emergency vet and drove over there right away. Once there, we were waiting, stressed and concerned but calm enough. We had no idea what was coming. The vet walked in and said, "I'm sorry, but I don't have good news for you. Sadie is dying." She had a heart condition that is near impossible to detect in cats, and clots had been forming in her heart over time. One of the clots was released from her heart and lodged in the main artery that gives blood to the lower half of her body, right where it split to go to her two hind legs. (This is apparently the most common complication of this heart condition, and that's the most common spot for the clot to stop.) The vet said that she rarely recommends euthanasia as the best option available, but in this case, she was. Sadie was in excruciating pain, and the clot was blocking 100% of the blood flow to the legs. The blood sample they took from her hind legs was black. It wouldn't have mattered if we had gotten there sooner (it was one of the first things I asked) and there was no way to predict this would happen. Cats with this heart condition can get a clot at any time, whether they are 2 years old or 16. I'm sorry to post the entire tear-jerking story on here, but it's still very fresh in my mind and very painful. This post helped so much... We are wondering how soon we should get another cat, and this really helped me realize that it's not disrespectful to Sadie to do so. Sadie was only with us for four years, but it was an amazing four years. It's tough right now, but there are so many good memories to focus on instead of the events from yesterday. My husband and I lost one of our cats, Sadie, unexpectedly yesterday. She was only 4.

We were playing with her for about 20 minutes, having a blast like any normal day of play, and within 2 minutes of stopping she started howling in pain and could barely move her hind legs. We thought she had gone in the other room and played way too rough with Sunie (our other cat) and broken her leg, and we called the emergency vet and drove over there right away.

Once there, we were waiting, stressed and concerned but calm enough. We had no idea what was coming. The vet walked in and said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t have good news for you. Sadie is dying.”

She had a heart condition that is near impossible to detect in cats, and clots had been forming in her heart over time. One of the clots was released from her heart and lodged in the main artery that gives blood to the lower half of her body, right where it split to go to her two hind legs. (This is apparently the most common complication of this heart condition, and that’s the most common spot for the clot to stop.) The vet said that she rarely recommends euthanasia as the best option available, but in this case, she was. Sadie was in excruciating pain, and the clot was blocking 100% of the blood flow to the legs. The blood sample they took from her hind legs was black.

It wouldn’t have mattered if we had gotten there sooner (it was one of the first things I asked) and there was no way to predict this would happen. Cats with this heart condition can get a clot at any time, whether they are 2 years old or 16.

I’m sorry to post the entire tear-jerking story on here, but it’s still very fresh in my mind and very painful. This post helped so much… We are wondering how soon we should get another cat, and this really helped me realize that it’s not disrespectful to Sadie to do so.

Sadie was only with us for four years, but it was an amazing four years. It’s tough right now, but there are so many good memories to focus on instead of the events from yesterday.

]]> By: WereBear http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/after-a-loss-how-long-before-we-get-a-new-cat/3809/comment-page-1#comment-5234 WereBear Mon, 07 Jun 2010 22:28:07 +0000 http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/?p=3809#comment-5234 Oh, Jeannie, you made me tear up. What a lovely story about a lovely cat. Such understanding of his favorite spot was a wonderfully sweet gesture. Oh, Jeannie, you made me tear up. What a lovely story about a lovely cat. Such understanding of his favorite spot was a wonderfully sweet gesture.

]]> By: Jeannie http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/after-a-loss-how-long-before-we-get-a-new-cat/3809/comment-page-1#comment-5224 Jeannie Sun, 06 Jun 2010 16:13:22 +0000 http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/?p=3809#comment-5224 I lost my 17 year old cat "Cookie" this week. I had been in Florida and when I came home my husband told me that he had not seen Cookie in a few days. He said that Cookie was not acting right the last time he saw him but he still wanted my husband to rub his ears. Cookie was well when I left for Florida. We have his 17 year old brother "Ashes". We took them in when they were four weeks old and we fed them by medicine dropper. They have had a wonderful life full of love, food, catnip, etc. and they have been very happy and contented. Whenever my husband and I did lawn chores both cats would walk with us. Thery loved us so much and we love them. The morning after I arrived home I decided to take our golf cart out to look for Cookie on our five acres. I did not have to look far. He was lying under his favorite tree next to the house and he was gone. He looked so peaceful all stretched out like he was napping. I am happy for the 17 years we had. We all miss him so very much. We buried him where he died, right under his special tree. I lost my 17 year old cat “Cookie” this week. I had been in Florida and when I came home my husband told me that he had not seen Cookie in a few days. He said that Cookie was not acting right the last time he saw him but he still wanted my husband to rub his ears. Cookie was well when I left for Florida. We have his 17 year old brother “Ashes”. We took them in when they were four weeks old and we fed them by medicine dropper. They have had a wonderful life full of love, food, catnip, etc. and they have been very happy and contented. Whenever my husband and I did lawn chores both cats would walk with us. Thery loved us so much and we love them. The morning after I arrived home I decided to take our golf cart out to look for Cookie on our five acres. I did not have to look far. He was lying under his favorite tree next to the house and he was gone. He looked so peaceful all stretched out like he was napping. I am happy for the 17 years we had. We all miss him so very much. We buried him where he died, right under his special tree.

]]> By: Oldcat http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/after-a-loss-how-long-before-we-get-a-new-cat/3809/comment-page-1#comment-5195 Oldcat Wed, 02 Jun 2010 05:07:38 +0000 http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/?p=3809#comment-5195 jenni, the first cat I had as an adult was an abandoned kitten that died of distemper within a week of my finding it. I was so sad a friend advised me to rescue another, and I had that cat for the next twenty years. You can grieve for the years you will miss as much as for the time you have with your cat. There can be solace in the fact that a long life is a complete life. And nobody is keeping score here. Not only does your cat feel its own sorrow, but of course yours as well. And the reverse is true. If you think you want another cat, then you are ready. Its not a matter of so many days, but rather if you are ready to open your heart to a new, different relationship for both you and your cat. jenni, the first cat I had as an adult was an abandoned kitten that died of distemper within a week of my finding it. I was so sad a friend advised me to rescue another, and I had that cat for the next twenty years. You can grieve for the years you will miss as much as for the time you have with your cat. There can be solace in the fact that a long life is a complete life. And nobody is keeping score here.

Not only does your cat feel its own sorrow, but of course yours as well. And the reverse is true. If you think you want another cat, then you are ready. Its not a matter of so many days, but rather if you are ready to open your heart to a new, different relationship for both you and your cat.

]]> By: WereBear http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/after-a-loss-how-long-before-we-get-a-new-cat/3809/comment-page-1#comment-5192 WereBear Tue, 01 Jun 2010 22:20:30 +0000 http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/?p=3809#comment-5192 Yes, our cats get attached, and feel the hole in their hearts. When we lost our cat Puffy around this time last year, it was our two year old, Reverend Jim, who was so terribly sad we had to get him a kitten. Saving a life can be a most joyous memorial. Yes, our cats get attached, and feel the hole in their hearts. When we lost our cat Puffy around this time last year, it was our two year old, Reverend Jim, who was so terribly sad we had to get him a kitten.

Saving a life can be a most joyous memorial.

]]> By: jenni http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/after-a-loss-how-long-before-we-get-a-new-cat/3809/comment-page-1#comment-5188 jenni Tue, 01 Jun 2010 15:13:53 +0000 http://www.wayofcats.com/blog/?p=3809#comment-5188 like all of you, i am so glad to have found this website. i had two cats in my previous marriage--not having kids, i was very attached to them both and they were my constant companions for 10 years. then my husband and i divorced. the cats stayed with him as we both loved the cats, and that house was home for our two kitties. i cried for missing my cats, not our divorce! i moved to germany and immediately found two new cats. max was the runt of the litter and pearl was always feisty, but they both got along wonderfully. last week, max suddenly started having strange attacks where he couldn't breathe. an xray and ultrasound revealed a heart problem. i had to subject him to pills twice a day. he didn't come home last night, and i just knew... i found him this morning in our garden. i have been crying all day and wondered if i am nuts to be so devastated. i have work to do, but i can't! reading these posts makes me feel better. i didn't have him for 17 years, only three, but he had my heart, he was so sweet and retained his tiny kitty meow. pearl seems to be waiting for him, and she is literally at my heels the whole day. i googled: 'how long should i wait to get a new cat?' not for ME but for pearl. a little kitty she can preen and take care of would be a good thing, i think -- anyone else have a thought on this? like all of you, i am so glad to have found this website. i had two cats in my previous marriage–not having kids, i was very attached to them both and they were my constant companions for 10 years. then my husband and i divorced. the cats stayed with him as we both loved the cats, and that house was home for our two kitties. i cried for missing my cats, not our divorce! i moved to germany and immediately found two new cats. max was the runt of the litter and pearl was always feisty, but they both got along wonderfully. last week, max suddenly started having strange attacks where he couldn’t breathe. an xray and ultrasound revealed a heart problem. i had to subject him to pills twice a day. he didn’t come home last night, and i just knew… i found him this morning in our garden. i have been crying all day and wondered if i am nuts to be so devastated. i have work to do, but i can’t! reading these posts makes me feel better. i didn’t have him for 17 years, only three, but he had my heart, he was so sweet and retained his tiny kitty meow. pearl seems to be waiting for him, and she is literally at my heels the whole day. i googled: ‘how long should i wait to get a new cat?’ not for ME but for pearl. a little kitty she can preen and take care of would be a good thing, i think — anyone else have a thought on this?

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