Discovering Cat Civilization

Mr WayofCats has a unique perspective on my methods. He grew up with cats and enjoyed them as pets before we met; and is enjoying them, anew, by using Way of Cats principles.

Welcome, Mr WayofCats. You recently mentioned you once thought two cats were plenty.

Yes. Now I live with four! And… loving it.

You are declaring yourself a fan of Cat Civilization, which I define as three cats or more.

I am.

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The two cats we had before, James Bond and Puffy, were funny together, mostly because they were so mis-matched. And they didn’t have that many interactions. But now that we have four…

And one of them is Tristan.

And one of them is Tristan! It creates a whole new dynamic. Tristan is so social, it’s a kind of magnifying glass to what is going on. I can see them plotting things. I can watch the communication go back and forth.

Like when Olwyn was taking care of Tristan when he was tiny, and she would shoot RJ a look, like “Get over here and help with this kitten,” and he would get up and come over and start playing with Tristan. That is exactly what happened, it was so clear.

Seems like every day when I come home, you have a funny story.

They are always up to something. There will be road work going on, and someone will get my attention and lead me to the window. Then all of them will appear for the explanation. And they expect me to give an explanation.

I don’t think they can possibly understand “roads” and “potholes” and “heavy machinery” but they do know they have been given an explanation. It’s really amazing. And yes, really funny.

Their last big group project was when I went away to that seminar.

It was the first overnight separation for Tristan, and he was a little clingy, a little puzzled. They all made a point of sleeping exactly where they always do, leaving a space in the bed for you to “appear” in. It was obvious to me they expected some kind of magic from them doing this, because when you didn’t appear, they got all pouty.

This is part of what you taught me about them; that if something good happens, or something bad happens, they will interact about it, they will confer with each other, they will, you know, act like a cohesive group.

Like the way Olwyn took over from James Bond.

Yes, exactly! That was a real mentoring thing, where I could see James Bond kind of “conferring” with her, spending a lot of time with her, and the information got transferred somehow, because she wasn’t very old when she started keeping tabs on everyone, and James started taking more naps. He knew she would take care of all that stuff he didn’t have to keep track of anymore.

I really wish I had known all this stuff before. Growing up, we had this great cat, Max. We had a close relationship, but knowing what I know now, I’m sure he had moments when he was wishing I would “get it” more than I did at the time.

It’s as much you having a good time as it is the cats.

Yes, I exchanged affection with him and took good care of him. But definitely, we’d both have a better time of it once I understood more.

    When I last interviewed Mr WayofCats, he discussed raising his first kitten.

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    There’s more about multiple cats in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See more posts on the MULTIPLE CAT ADVANTAGE.

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Dear Pammy, Here is where my cat stopped.

A reader will write something like this, rather often:

I don’t know what happened. He still hides and avoids laptime and I want more cuddling and kissing. What can I do?

Dear Readers,

What we want, and what our cat is, might be two different things.

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One of the most difficult tasks of cat evaluation is distinguishing the behaviors that are in response to a poor environment from the behaviors that are intrinsic to the cat. We have a tendency to regard a cat’s “shyness behaviors” as a response to traumatic events; behaviors that will melt away when we open our heart and our home to them.

While it is true that making a cat happy and secure will reveal the true cat; that doesn’t mean their favorite way of bestowing affection will perfectly align with our wishes.

When I brought Reverend Jim home, we discovered that he loved cuddling; but he doesn’t do drive-bys. RJ wants a time commitment so he can spread across a chest or lap with complete relaxation and get his purring cranked to the max. After twenty minutes, or even more, he’s “full.” It could be another 12 hours before the tank gets that low again.

He always loves Petting in Place, but for the rest of the day he doesn’t want to be scooped up and cuddled. Fortunately, we have an alternate system for such human needs. We have Sir Tristan.

Since very early kittenhood, Tristan has displayed the opposite pattern. He likes to “touch base” more than a dozen times a day. Despite his obvious affection, he’s never been a lap cat. He gets on my lap, but it’s to bury his shoulder in my chest, ask for hugs and kisses on his forehead; and then he’s off again.

If I wanted a lap cat, Tristan would disappoint me, over and over. If I wanted a cat who liked lots of short-notice short cuddles, Reverend Jim would avoid me; and seem like a cat who is not affectionate at all.

We can create a better chance of getting the kind of affection we would like from our cat with these “affection matching” tips:

Know what we want. Some people would find the demands of RJ’s long sessions difficult to fit into their busy schedule, and then we both wind up affection-starved. Others would miss their great “lap sessions” during a movie if they had a cat with Tristan’s preferred pattern.

We should consider our own preferences, schedule, and expectations; then seek out a cat who will most closely fit them.

Know how to ask for it. I keep an open line of communication with all my cats, and issue “cat alerts” if I’m going to be open to their favorite way of sharing friendship.

We can train our cat that a blanket thrown over our lap means they can settle in for an hour or so while we watch our favorite shows or play a movie. We can show our cat we missed them all day if we hang up our coat and start a play session.

Know when it’s being offered. We can instantly respond if our cat places a paw on our knee or meows at us. If we brush them off as “bugging us” we have just hurt their feelings; and discouraged them from making such overtures.

If our cat seems to pick all the wrong times to ask for attention, we need to let them know when there is a good time.

Know when they are doing their best. It doesn’t make any sense to feel hurt when our Gamma doesn’t need a play session every day, or if our Alpha can’t settle down long enough to cuddle on the couch.

We should keep in mind that it’s a rare cat who will display every possible flavor of affection.

I often get asked how someone’s cat could be more cuddly; or less intrusive. How to get their cat to be more friendly with strangers, less driven, different. But while we can make our cat more confident and trusting, less fearful and suspicious; we cannot change the cat’s essential nature. Any more than we can change our own.

There’s always what I do; have multiple cats to cover all bases.

    Maximize our kitten’s potential with Keeping Kittens Cuddly. Figure out all the subtle ways cats express affection with the first post in my Presence series.

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    There’s more ways to get our cat to be affectionate in The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See all of my CAT AFFECTION posts.

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Gamma: the rabbit cat

One easy way to convey a sense of “cat types” is by comparison with another animal. As someone who has had both as a pet, I can say that the Gamma is the rabbit cat.

They combine a sweet and trusting nature with an uncertainty about how to manipulate our mutual environment.

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The key to happy Gammas is support. If we can provide enough understanding, attention, and adoration for our Gammas, they will be devoted, and delightful, “children.”

There are great advantages to Gammas:

Leaving our stuff alone. They are the best cat for not messing with our things.

They stay kittens longer. Gammas are the most dependent cat types. They also stay mentally dependent for longer. It can seem that Gammas are slow to grasp something, when that’s not true. They have a slower thinking style. They “get it” but don’t want to commit right away.

Very focused on relationship. This is wonderful for us if we can match that level of interest. Gammas need that coming back, too.

This is why I think of them as the “rabbit cat,” since they are so low-key and cuddly. Gentle Gammas are easily provided for, yet require our small attentions more, than other cat types.

Because there are cautions regarding Gammas:

Need maintenance. We cannot rely on them to let us know they are hungry or thirsty or have an upset; not quickly. Gammas prefer to suffer in silence. We can’t let that happen.

Must have routine. Least flexible with environmental stress, especially since they will leave things alone and don’t even have the stress relief of trying to fix it.

Least of the greeters. They will meet friends; not strangers. Getting from one to the other takes some hanging around and being open, but not pushy. Still, anyone who comes by often can be friends with our cat.

If we want a “living doll” these lovely and loving cats are a wonderful experience.

Look for these breeds & breed characteristics:

Look for the short nose, broadset ears, thicker paws, and stocky bone structure that indicates Gamma traits. A wide-eyed expression, a quiet acceptance of the situation, and a close interest in details of their environment can point to Gamma mental traits in any cat. They come from colder climates and are the least active cat type.

Persians, and their combinations, are the core Gamma heritage.

    Read more about the Gamma cat type.

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    There’s more to choosing a cat with The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my CHOOSING A CAT.

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